Friday, April 25, 2014

It was just so stupid - it still drives me crazy today

I was just remembering a little bit of history from my life, and though the whole story I'm about to explain wasn't completely mentioned in my book - it was a part of the story and it just drove me bonkers thinking about it now.

1) My Bishop wants me to obey my parents.
2) My Bishop doesn't want me to listen to Popular Music.
3) My parents listen to popular music.
4) I'm not allowed to rebel against my parents even if Jesus says I can.
5) I'm not allowed to listen to the music even if Jesus likes talents.
6) I have to listen to my parents and not listen to popular music even though my parents listen to popular music.
7) It was just so stupid. Complete idiocy. And then you aren't even allowed to criticize the bishop's decision making.

Yes, the above 7 points about what happened in my life drove me mad. I need a psychiatrist because of things like that.

Let's look at another problem involving the old Stake President which he sent me in that old letter that got my very annoyed:

1) My patriarchal blessing says I'd hear the voice of the holy ghost and work miracles.
2) The stake president denies such a voice exists.
3) The stake president wants me to obey my psychiatrist, which means I have to deny the miracles too.
4) The stake president feels my patriarchal blessing will come true as I mature in the gospel.
5) ??? I mean, we just denied the very essence of my PB, and now he's telling me it could really come true even though we've denied it!
6) You seriously aren't allowed to criticize the leaders.

Ugh. Living through that church drove me crazy. We always have to listen to these old men who cannot be criticized - but their decision making wasn't making any sense.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Something potentially strange in the neighborhood

I'm riding in the van with my father. As I exited the house to go to the van I could clearly see across the street and saw someone surprising, potentially even spooky.

The other day I was telling my psychiatric doctor that Akiane of Lithuania's painting of Jesus was better than the portrait commonly used by the LDS church.

Well, I saw a grey - bearded and Long haired old white man walking out of the across the street neighbors yard, and he proceeded to just walk down the street.

This could be spooky because as far as I know because that house is now uninhabited and there was no vehicle- it was just an old and gray man with long hair who looked startlingly like what you'd expect from LDS Jesus.

It could be nothing, but this man wore plaid, which is interesting because years ago I saw someone who looked like Elder Oaks in a very nearby location who also wore plaid.

I was too afraid to talk to him. I'm not too sure who he was except that he was an old and gray Christlike appearance.

Who knows where my identifications are wrong.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Trying to remember Jesus again

So, I woke up this morning, and tried to remember my personal memory of seeing "Jesus", and then after I had an image established in my mind of what I think I remember seeing, I revisited Akiane.com (the little painter girl from Lithuania) to see how well the image matched.

There were some similarities in the image, but it actually isn't exactly the same.

Therefore I might be wrong.

There are similarities, but not the exact same. What if I am delusional? Or what if I'm just operating on old distorted memories over half a decade old?

There is a similarity, but not exactly as I remembered it. Of course, I'm basing most of my image on the hairstyle, and yes - she does capture a certain kind of feature of what I saw, but it is not exactly what I saw.

Of course, we must realize that hair changes over time, and often doesn't remain exactly the same over a long period.

And, of course, my memories probably aren't perfect either. and then that is just an artistic depiction.

Blah.

She's a great painter - no doubt, and there is a certain essence of what I saw in what she painted, but if my memories really are accurate (which they might not be), then it's not exactly the same. Oh well.

Even so ---- How do you explain the voices I heard during the experience? am I just insane? What about my little telepathic ability? The telepathy is proven even if it's far from perfect, so we know that I'm not totally just insane.

Now I'm feeling stupid for having said anything at all. I might be wrong.

Update

I'm sitting here with my iPhone and I had another look at an online image of Akiane's Jesus portrait.

Again, this time I was struck by how similar her image is to my memory.

Close. Not perfectly the same but close.

Friday, April 18, 2014

2004-2008 Jesus Sightings Confirmed

I went to see that "Heaven is For Real" movie, I just came home moments ago.

In the movie, they show one painting of Jesus Christ from a little girl in Lithuania who had visited heaven and taught herself to paint. She painted what she saw as Jesus Christ, the little boy who went to heaven in the movie confirmed it ---- and I also confirm.

The biggest feature of the painting that I know I can pretty much verify was Jesus' hairstyle. It's the same as the Jesus I saw in 2004 and 2008. The only difference is that in these childrens' depictions of Jesus, they said he had greenish-blue or bluish-green eyes. In my own eyewitness, I only saw the blue, I didn't notice the green.

But other than the difference of the eyes, the hair was strikingly similar, and well, when I saw the painting on the movie screen I instantly recognized the image --- especially thinking back on my 2008 experience.

My dad says I shouldn't say anything to anyone about how I compare to this movie, because I've already endured enough ridicule --- but I just know that I need to put my stamp of approval on that painting, because I know I recognized the image - minus the green in the eyes.

If I were to say nothing about what I saw and what they depict in the movie, people would suspect me of being fake. Though my dad says I shouldn't say anything - I know I have to say something or else no one will believe me.

Update:

I was just researching this little girl's paintings online. The front of Jesus' face that she depicts, she does a wonderful job, though my memories aren't as rigid as I wish they were, she got something right - because from my sense of memory to her painting I see the resemblance.

But there's one painting where she paints more of Jesus' side profile, or the back of his head. At this point I would question if she clearly saw the back of Jesus' head, because in my 2008 experience (which agrees with her facial portrait) the back of Jesus' head didn't quite look like that.

I mean, it's entirely possible that hair grows, hair changes form, but the back of Jesus' head that I saw is not quite what she depicts in that one painting.

The facial picture is beautiful however - or at least, as I remembered my personal experience I and as I looked at the painting I saw the similarity.

His hair is brown, but I would say it was a little more reddish than the colour she chose.

I can only hope we are talking about the same person, despite slight differences in appearance. Of course, I am working off of memories from about 6 years ago. I'll just say that the facial portrait was something that I could recognize and identify as very similar to what I saw in 2008.

As for my 2010 experience:: His head was covered either by his "hood", his "head scarf" or the darkness (depending on which night we're talking about) so I never clearly viewed his head or face on any night in 2010.

But 2004 and 2008 resemble each other, and 2008 heavily resembles her facial portrait.

Now I just hope no one tries to kill me over this - hah paranoid.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

A good thing about the LDS

To be fair, I should probably say something nice about the LDS church.

The LDS church is great because it instilled a desire to do the right thing in me. They taught me to try to be a good, honest, decent person. That is actually a good and wonderful thing about LDS Mormonism.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Why Mormonism is false

Mormon 4:5 says "But, behold, the judgments of God will overtake the wicked; and it is by the wicked that the wicked are punished; for it is the wicked that stir up the hearts of the children of men unto bloodshed."


John 8:7 says "So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."

So, in the The Book of Mormon only people who break the rules are allowed to punish other people who break the rules, whereas in the New Testament, according to Jesus, only those who are perfect may punish.

The Book of Mormon says it is the wicked that stir up people's hearts to kill other people, but according to the Old Testament there are a zillion DIVINELY mandated rules one can be put to death for.

In Mormonism, perfect people ALWAYS FORGIVE.


In Christianity, perfect people are the only people who are truly allowed to punish.


In Mormonism, the wicked punish the wicked.


In Christianity, if you are wicked then you have no right to even criticize someone else.


Mormonism is completely opposite of the Christianity Jesus Christ taught of.

Therefore I am developing an opinion that Mormons are not true Christians and that Joseph Smith was a liar.







Technically, the LDS church is actually true

I think I'm going to make sense of a whole long series of all my thoughts and arguments now:

The LDS church is technically true for TWO reasons::

1) They do have some kind of magic and

2) They claim to be the "mormons", or, being interpreted, they claim to be the "morons", and this is a truth that cannot be denied.

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They are true because they indirectly claim to be very stupid -- and it's true, they are very stupid.

And though they are technically true because of these things, and though they do even have a great deal of good wisdom to dish out, and there are many wonderful things about their religion,

it should be made clear that you take whatever they say with a grain of salt::: sometimes it's so stupid it might just hurt your brain.

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There are good things about mormonism, I loved that religion for so long as I was growing up. But I will now give a doctrinal example from Spencer W Kimball about how it's MORMONIC:::

According to Spencer W Kimball, a woman should fight back as much as possible, she has to fight back so terribly that she would rather die than be raped.

And then, as soon as she has been raped, she must absolutely forgive and forget the whole experience. Technically, this means she shouldn't even bother to accuse the rapist, she just has to let the whole thing go and forget it ever happened.

This is seriously a really dumb doctrine for a few reasons:

1) You'd have to rather die and miss out on your lifetime of experiences just because some guy got horny rather than let the guy abuse his agency? Why does his abuse of his agency mean you have to suffer so much? God gave him his agency, and if you have to die as a direct result - well, that's pretty dumb.

2) Fighting back as hard as possible only to completely let the offender off the hook after the deed is done is completely pointless. This isn't really logical or rational behaviour.

3) You can fight back, but it doesn't make sense that you'd have to rather die. If you don't resist at all, then technically that's fornication, unless the guy is holding a knife to your throat and you have no choice but to give in. Kimball says you should rather let him kill you - but like I said, why should you have to suffer so much at the hands of another being abusing their agency?

4) You shouldn't be forced to absolutely completely forgive and forget everything. According to mormonism, if you don't forgive if then you are the worse sinner. This obviously doesn't make any sense in certain situations. Kimball would have you believe that just remembering the rape makes you the worse person --- this is, however, usually completely untrue.

5) It really is just illogical that you have to fight back to the point of dying only to just be required to completely forgive the offence. God said "turn the other cheek", and that logic might actually be designed to save your life rather than cause you to lose it. How can mormonism teach you to turn the other cheek in some situations and then demand you fight to the death in others? And how is it that after fighting so hard, and losing the battle, that you'll be absolutely required to forgive the offence?


YES ---- these few points show just ONE of the LITTLE ways in which LDS Mormonism is completely stupid.

They claim to be Mor[m]ons and technically they are right and true about that.

The LDS church has some good wisdom and does good things, but don't take it too far, avoid "extremism", there's a point at which the stupid religion is actually just stupid.


So for the sake of anyone who thinks I'm being overly critical here:
I compliment mormonism for its successes and;
I have every reason to be able to justify my claim that it's not the brightest religion. Just read all my writing and you should understand why I call them "stupid true" rather than "smart true".

Monday, April 14, 2014

It's all for the better

Looking back on my life, I'm realizing that losing "Annie Liability"'s friendship is probably one of the best things that could have happened for me.

OK - it's true that I still see Annie Liability as a seriously awesome person, and it hurt like hell to lose her friendship --- but now that I know what her family was like, it's better that we aren't together.

In fact, I needed self-improvement too --- and though I lost my mind and no longer think or work at the level I had once been able to --- I think I'm a better person for having gone through these experiences.

If there's anything so flawed about me now - it's just that I can't forget what happened on so many occasions. People keep telling me I shouldn't think about it, and I'm wishing I could forget, I wish I could move on.

Yes yes, losing her friendship and having the experience I had --- though it was very difficult, was actually a good experience.

That sounds like a pro-mormon thing, but another thing I learned from the experience is that the LDS church can't really be trusted.

Here I am, I feel the holy ghost warm my innards as I think and talk about the untruths of the LDS church.

There is some possibility of a truth or reality to them --- but there is just so much wrong with them that I'm not going to be their man anymore.

Now --- Pray for me that I'll be able to move on with my life. I need to move on. It's no good having my brain stuck in the past.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Feeling the Holy Ghost against the church

Today I was just thinking about various aspects of my life and all this stuff involving the church.

I was telling my father that there's a huge possibility that the LDS church isn't really true -- and my dad agreed that there is something very wrong with the organization.

And you know what? Even though I'm talking and thinking about how the LDS church actually ISN'T true, I feel the holy ghost inside.

I feel those warm holy-ghost feelings right now inside of me, as I talk about how the LDS church is actually a wrong organization.

Either the Holy Ghost has turned against the LDS church, or those types of thoughts and feelings have no actual relationship with the truth, whether it be for or against the church.

I feel the holy ghost. In my mind I figured out a very big set of ways that the LDS church isn't true, and I feel the holy ghost inside my heart. The feeling isn't trying to turn me away from thinking the church isn't true - it's just a feeling, and if the church could define the feeling, the feeling is just telling me the truth about how the church isn't true.

Remembering the Stupidity

I've had some good feelings towards the church in the past while, I have some ability to accept the prophetic nature of the 15 LDS apostles,

but I have a pretty decent memory, and I know the church likes to threaten people with "if you can't forgive it then you are condemned of the greater sin".

But then the Liabilitys were senselessly angry at me, and being angry at me means they're not forgiving me of something, and according to LDS doctrine their anger or lack of forgiveness means they are supposed to be condemned of the greater sin, yet the LDS church just let them off the hook, they were forgiven of their anger and unforgiving attitude.

In fact, though they were the ones who were angry, I was personally threatened by the bishop that if I couldn't forgive their anger then I would be guilty of the greater sin. ???? I'm supposed to let go of THEIR anger or else I'm the bigger sinner and they're just let off the hook??

The church easily just forgives something that really isn't supposed to be forgiven according to the scriptures, yet when I do things that are supposed to be easily forgiven -- well, I get condemned, and if I don't forgive the condemnation then I'm guilty of the greater sin.

Yup - it makes no sense.

I have some idea of some kind of truth or magic in the LDS church, but it all gets so ridiculous and stupid that I can't be bothered to save my soul with them anymore.


BTW --- I had no idea what the accusation was against me for a very long time, so I don't know how I was supposed to repent of something when no one can tell me what it was. Accusing me and then not telling me what the accusation was is called backbiting. And apparently the LDS church just forgives that kind of behaviour. I can't repent or defend myself from the accusation if I don't know what it is --- and the simple fact that they were so angry about it indicates that they should have been condemned of the greater sin --- but the church forgave them.

Doi.


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In other news, I noticed the rate of download of The Book of Finch has increased in the past month, it's getting to be a bit popular, so under the circumstances of having to pay off debt, I hope you all understand why I'm increasing the price to $2.99.

Of course, I know the average human being is too cheap to even pay $1 for a useful product, so I guess I already know that I probably won't sell anything - so anyway, yeah, another reason I can't respect the LDS church is because they pay 10% of their incomes in tithing and they'll download my book in droves if it's free--- but I know I can already expect the downloads to practically stop as soon as it costs a small fee. I probably shouldn't accuse the LDS church of this, but that's what I'm expecting. I can only hope I'll be proved wrong.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Another Post on my Political Stance

I just thought I'd share my political leanings again:

When I was growing up, in american politics I was very certainly supportive of the Republicans.

Now I am much more Democratic-minded. From all I understand, the Democrats make more sense to me, last time I checked.

As for my native-home-country of Canada, or more specifically my home province of Alberta::

I do have socialist leanings, and I do like the NDP (New Democratic Party) in a number of ways, but my Father has made me aware that NDP governments usually go deep into debt, apparently.

I am happy living under Canadian Conservatives - I have no real complaints there.

I have things to support about most parties, but in Alberta I think I am more solidly a Wildrose supporter now, from the things I've understood.

As for Canadian Feds, It's a toss-up between the Conservatives or the NDP. I'm comfortable with our current Conservative Government, so maybe I'll end up voting Conservative again. Who knows. (but to be clear: I have voted NDP multiple times in the past).

Friday, April 11, 2014

Flip flopping - Praying about it

You know in the book "Animal Farm" by George Orwell where the pigs (the leaders of the farm) Napoleon and Snowball would stand in front of the animals and debate the future of the farm in a democratic fashion?

In the book, most of the animals are unable to decide between the two leading parties, and they just agree with whoever happens to be speaking at the time.


Unfortunately, despite growing up top of my class in school and being very opinionated, I guess I validly lost my mind, because in the "mormon-christian debate" I find myself agreeing with whoever is speaking at the time.

I can be this way because I understand logical arguments, and in my own life I have evidences that are both pro-mormon and evidences that don't look kindly upon the church.



In the last General Conference, President Boyd K Packer pretty much stated that he's seen Jesus Christ. If this is true, then perhaps the LDS church is a truthy, although imperfect, organization. The only other option is that Boyd K Packer is a complete liar and the church should be rejected at all costs.



I know I have some mentalist ability, although it often doesn't work as well as one would hope. Therefore, when I pray to God and get an answer, I'm not always certain the responses are 100% accurate.


After I ate breakfast this morning, I bowed my head and asked God to answer three questions. Here are the questions and answers:

Q) Is Thomas S Monson really the true prophet?
A) Yes

Q) Is The Book of Mormon a true and accurate history of ancient americans?
A) No

Q) Was The Book of Mormon truly translated from a set of Gold Plates?
A) Yes


Now --- there are some problems with my method of asking God about this::: a) The answer seems inconsistent and b) when I was in my bedroom praying to know about things like this, the answers didn't seem to be the same.


It is possible that when I pray to God and He responds that "He" is not actually God, but actually just the closest spirit able to answer. Or I am crazy.


I do not deny that when I received my LDS patriarchal blessing that I saw the vision and I know that parts of the blessing even started to come true. That is pro-mormon evidence.

I know that Dallin H Oaks and Gerald Causse appeared to answer questions I asked only in prayer to God from church pulpits. That's pro-mormon evidence.



My biggest complaint about Mormonism is just a general "stupidity" that appears among leadership and therefore the membership as well.


I mean, there is no denying it::: LDS leadership is not very good quality, and then you aren't even allowed to say that about it even if it's true. There is obviously something wrong.


But, prayers do sometimes indicate some kind of "truth" to the church, and there are miraculous or magical-like experiences that seem to indicate the church could be "true".


And everyone hates it when I think about this, no one wants me to obsess about these things anymore.


I wish I could just stop myself from talking about this things, thinking about these things. Part of the time I like the church and the other part I despise it. I really shouldn't think about these things anymore. It's like I'm addicted to the "mormon-christian debate".


Whatever the case, regardless of whether the LDS church is true or false, I don't expect my Patriarchal Blessing to fully come true. I should be finished with the whole thing now. Ugh.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Flip Flopping - Deleted Today's other post and slight change of mind

Earlier today I reported a slight change of feeling, I felt better towards the LDS church.

And though that positive attitude hasn't entirely washed away, it wasn't hard for me to just sit and remember and feel unhappy about the religion.

1) My leaders in the past made some real bad decisions. Just remembering this alone turned me off the church.

2) I was just laying in bed this evening, when I remembered all the trouble the church has with masturbation. It's so important to not feel those feelings without my spouse, that you'll make me want to kill myself, and because the ladies only want worthy returned missionaries I'll never get married anyway. Yay - it's so important to never feel those feelings without my spouse that I must commit ritual suicide and no one will ever marry me anyway. Yay.


Yup ---- Just remembering these two things kind of toned down the positive attitude I was having about the church. I just have real bad memories. And, of course, as LDS doctrine goes, just because I even remember these things, I am now the worse bigger sinner than the person who created the problem in the first place.

All I had to do was remember --- and now I am a horrible man.

A system that punishes the victim. That's point #3.

At least I'm not getting carried away and I think I can still handle paintball with the elders quorum this weekend.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Boyd K Packer's talk "The Witness"

I just had a quick scroll-through of talks from LDS general conference, seeing which title was most interesting to me.

Boyd K Packer's talk "The Witness" looked the most interesting, from title alone.

Apparently President Packer has seen Jesus Christ. That is a compelling testimony to help someone understand that the LDS church is true.

And I also have my own personal testimony of some kind of magical truth or reality in the LDS church.


So why have I separated from the church so much?



Though certain propaganda I've seen does confuse me about how the church could possibly be true if the propaganda is true::: the biggest basic reason I've separated so far from the LDS church is because the people aren't right, to put it simply.

I've seen enough crap from LDS people that I have no desire to unite with them anymore. If you want details read other writings and blog posts by myself - I don't feel like beating that dead horse right now.



Elder Packer mentioned something about receiving blessings from making and keeping covenants. Hmmm. This sounds promising, but I know that the church always made a big deal in my life about how much you are supposed to never masturbate -- and I was never able to follow that rule, so I guess my blessings are all gone --- just because I'm too freakishly horny.


There was so much I could have done with my life, but plans have been derailed so badly (in part due to really bad leadership in the LDS church) and now God just tells me that I can do whatever I want. I have no real guidance about any efforts that I should be exerting for anything --- God just tells me to do whatever I want. I am completely free now. I would have had things to do with my life, but certain LDS people (including leaders) can't be trusted to make good choices, so I just putter about freely now.





And, of course, President Packer makes a note of how he is unable to share exactly what happened to him that developed his testimony to a point of knowing the truth. I am personally capable of sharing things that happen in my life, but somehow the wisdom of the aged seems to indicate that we don't share those stories.

But it's a little sad that I couldn't even trust a bishop with the story isn't it?

Monday, April 7, 2014

No Sympathy

Today I was talking to my dad about how the LDS church claims they are the only ones with the valid authority to baptize (among other things) so in order to be saved you must have an LDS baptism.

I then thought it was strange that the LDS church preferred to not save Avril Lavigne's soul. What I mean is, in order to be saved, Avril has to be baptized by an LDS priesthood holder, but the church didn't even want me to befriend her to allow that to happen.

My dad said two things: 1) The church was probably intending to just baptize her after she already died and 2) The decision to keep me from befriending Avril was not a church decision, it was a decision of one man, the bishop, and he was just being an A-hole.

I think it's sad that this great church of missionary work and conversions would only consider saving one young woman's soul (and she was apparently searching according to I'm with you) after she's already died. Very sad.

I also think it's very sad that I would go in to speak to the official leadership of the local area, the church's recognized authority, and find that I'm only talking to him as an individual, and he was just being an A-hole.

So strange isn't it? This is the one true church, and when you go in to a bishop to talk about important things, you are actually just talking to an A-hole - in the one true church.


I listened to Jeffery R Holland's talk about the persecution the LDS church faces, one of the first talks in conference (and that was one of the few talks I listened to), and well, I really can't say I have any sympathy for the church if they're trying to get you to obsess over this "gospel" only to have church leaders who behave like "A-holes" who will only move to baptize a searching young woman after she's already dead.


I have no sympathy for this church. If the Bishop was just being an A-hole, as my dad has indicated to me, then I really have no sympathy for the LDS-persecution-complex.

I offered my whole life to God, I offered my whole life to the LDS church, and I was rejected. They either didn't want my service or didn't care for my salvation or exaltation.

I was raised by this church, I was gung-ho about this religion, and they couldn't even be friends with me after I offered them my whole lifetime of service. My lifetime of service wasn't enough for the highest degree.

And then a Bishop of the one true church is actually just being an A-hole while he's acting in his position as bishop.

No sympathy really.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Good News about my psychiatry

Good news.

Today I saw my psychiatrist. Two things I want to mention that are good news.

1) My psychiatrist actually told me that I have my head screwed on properly. I'm still on medication, they're not taking me off that, but the doctor told me I have my head screwed on properly. The thing she mentioned directly afterwards was how it's good that I'm tackling my debt so well. Anyway, even though I admitted that there might've been some kind of truth or reality to the LDS church as evidenced by my patriarchal blessing, the doctor determined that I have my head screwed on properly. This is good because in my own mind it re-opens a glimmer of hope that I might someday get married.

2) The nurse, when she was talking to me, said that it's likely that each individual Mormon has to have their own epiphany before they realize the truth. That is more or less what my nurse said --- saying that talking to them does no good, they each have to have their own epiphanies in order to understand the truth. The reason this is good is because in my dictionary the basic definition of "epiphany" (which is the word she used) is "A Divine Manifestation".

Therefore:: Divine manifestations are now (maybe) allowed along with me thinking properly. Yay!!!


As for ever getting married, my dad and I realize I'll have to pay off my debt completely as well as get another source of income before I can really think about dating. Being completely insane completely shuts down any hope of marriage, being head-screwed-on-right means I might have a possibility of getting married, but actually having an income makes it "if I find someone it could happen".


Of course, the nurse also said it would be better if I didn't obsess about the church so much. I agree - I am wasting my time, it's a matter of finding something else to do and completely fixing my brain. Of course, I also realized that the LDS church TRIES to get you to obsess over them, with all the praying, attendance, and at least 30 minutes of scripture study each day, preferably The Book of Mormon.

Mormonism Doesn't Make Sense

Yesterday I sent a message saying to the Stake President that I suddenly saw the church in a positive light again, and maybe someday I will return.

I wake up this morning, and I realize that I am actually confused out of my mind by the LDS church.

In Jeremiah 31 the Lord says the Jews, or the covenant people of the old covenant, broke the covenant.

So, in Nephi 29, what am I supposed to understand about how "God will not forget his ancient covenant people, and turn the pain back on the head of the oppressor"?

The Jews broke their covenant, so now God is going to remember the covenant and punish the people who punished the Jews???

Even from the perspective of Jews being early Christians in 2nd Nephi 29, well, he refers to these Jews as 'Ancient covenant people' ---- the new covenant was hardly ancient at the time the early christians were being persecuted.


So, what we have here is ancient covenant Jews who broke their covenant who disregarded Jesus and saved the Gentiles so Jesus avenged these covenant breakers by remembering the covenant and turning the oppression back on the heads of the oppressors.


I am seriously confused.

And it doesn't even make sense to say that the ancient covenant is the new covenant.... it hardly makes sense at least.

Anyway, yeah, so the ancient covenant people somehow saved the gentiles and though they broke their covenant God is going to turn around and punish their oppressors. OK?


And then lets not forget that later in Jeremiah 31 that God is so ever merciful, forgetful and forgiving in the New Covenant, which is why Vaughn J Featherstone says it's so wrong to drink Caffeine - right?

I mean, God wrote his law in our hearts, and he loves us and is so merciful that when we break the law of not drinking caffeine we have tainted our purity, and therefore God will no longer bless us - right? because he's so merciful and forgiving right???


It's so confusing --- this is a church where everyone has to be so perfect according to a zillion rules even as they're required to forgive the breaking of any rule ----- I mean, how can we be required to forgive everything even as we are also required to be so perfect all the time?

Spencer W Kimball says it takes a lot of hard work and effort to gain forgiveness from God, but in Jeremiah 31 God says his New Covenant says "for I will forgive their iniquity and remember their sin no more". So, God just forgives us and loves us, but somehow according to mormonism it takes a lot of work to actually achieve that forgiveness.

I mean, Vaughn J Featherstone demands that we not drink caffeine, but if I do doesn't he have to forgive me unless he's guilty of the greater sin?? Then why does he have to stand there shaming us about caffeine - he's already not forgiving it!



So yeah, to summarize:

God forgives a lot, but the mormons think it's hard work to earn all that forgiveness. You have to be perfect in mormonism, even as you also have to forgive everyone's imperfections. You have to be so perfect you cannot even drink caffeine, but you have to forgive everyone else who does. Therefore you are perfect and you aren't going to berate anyone about drinking caffeine, but those who do drink caffeine have hard work ahead of them to be forgiven by God, even though God is so merciful and forgiving it shouldn't matter in the least if you ever consumed caffeine.

And then the ancient covenant people who broke the covenant somehow saved the gentiles and were avenged by the Lord who remembered their ancient covenant??? ?????