I woke up this morning and had a quick thought:
Isn't it strange how when I had my breakdown how people couldn't attribute my breakdown to "poor social treatment" but instead referred to how my brain just doesn't work and I'm crazy?
Rather than dealing with being abused by the parents of a girl I loved or being over-shamed by church leaders about a relatively harmless "defect", they decided to concentrate on an idea that my brain just didn't work anymore without trying to solve social issues or blaming any actual cause of my despair.
And not only could they never point the finger at any responsible parties --- no one could accept the possibility that I'd ever be a seriously blessed individual who works miracles or is seriously honoured and respected.
It was a situation where they don't bother to blame any actual guilty party, whilst at the same time completely disrespecting my patriarchal blessing as hallucination and grandiose delusion.
I was all just a situation where my brain doesn't work, and I need to take drugs to be fixed. No actual imperative to deal with the way I was treated by people or recognition of special religious beliefs.
It was all my problem. It was all just my own brain. Nothing to do with people saying unkind things to me and treating me badly. Right?
If there was any recognition of the actual cause of the problems, like the way my old female friend had treated me --- well, Avril Lavigne seemed to recognize this issue but everyone who was "in charge" of me would prefer to ignore her and remove her from my life rather than let her deal with the actual issues at hand. In fact, Avril Lavigne can be seen as a fulfillment of my patriarchal blessing as well --- but no one can actually let me have that, it's just a grandiose delusion, right?