Thursday, February 27, 2014

Reading Spanish

So, I noticed this evening that I had another free download of my book on amazon.com. This is nothing really new, except when I looked at the competition on the top 20 bestsellers list, I saw one of the books was a spanish language article about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (the creator of Sherlock Holmes).

I had a closer look at the blurb describing the article. It was all in spanish. I know some spanish from schooling from many years ago. But, I am happy to say, that even though I didn't really know all the words used, I was able to more or less understand what the blurb said, or even just the gist of what it was saying.

That was so nice, to know that I retain some spanish interpretation skills. Yay. Awesome. Oh - yeah, I checked it with the google translator and found I was correct in my understanding.

The other thing to write about here is my response to my previously most recent post where I feel friendly towards the church.

Yes - I feel friendlier towards the church, but this evening I realized if I were to go back it would mean no coffee, tithing, no sunday shopping.... basically there are all these rules you have to follow, and I know that I am actually physically incapable of following all the rules.

I could live without coffee, but I don't see the point of having to go without it. Tithing is expensive, and to me it makes more sense to give to the poor and needy rather than give money to a very wealthy church while I myself struggle to pay of debt. And I love buying food - every day, I'm always going to Seven Eleven or some restaurant to eat, and I'm not sure the sabbath day is really all that important of a rule. As well, I am actually completely physically incapable of being sexually perfect, according to the mormons.

So, though I feel friendly to the mormons, there are all these little rules that I don't see the point of having to keep. And today, as I thought, I realized when Jesus gave his parable of servant who was forgiven and then didn't forgive and then became unforgiven due to this lack of forgiveness of others: I realized that what Jesus is saying here is that SMALL things should be forgiven so easily, as the amount of money being dealt with was miniscule.

I think Jesus makes sense - my interpretation of the parable says that you are required to forgive all sorts of small imperfections. This really does make sense.

But I know from my life with mormonism that they twist it and distort it so small things become big issues, and big things have to be forgiven or else you are the even bigger sinner. They harp on you about small things, and then require forgiveness of big freakin' problems or else the victim is the bigger sinner. Mormonism has got this doctrine all wrong. They don't do it or think it properly.

And then, I realize, from looking at book sales and comparing it to other LDS books ---- that though I offered my whole life to God/the LDS church, I was rejected, and even if my book is free most LDS people can't be bothered to be excited over the good news I had to report. It's just complete rejection. I'm just lucky to have a very kind stake president.

The problem with book sales among the mormons is that I know how I'll give beggars on the street money if they ask, which is what a christian is supposed to do. But if I advertise a book, pay per click, I'll get all kinds of LDS people clicking on my ad and therefore causing me to spend money, but then none of these individuals will actually buy my book. My dad determined from this information that LDS people are ultra-mega-cheap. They can afford 10% of their incomes on tithing, but $2 for an ebook is too much to ask. And then even if it is free, I'm still not doing very well compared to others (including foreign languages) anyway. It's basically just a sign that the Mormons rejected me.

I tried so hard to be a good LDS boy growing up, and I know I wasn't LDS-perfect, but I was considered the best priest in the quorum. And then my own church just blatantly rejects me. How sad.

If you are a natural man, they'll berate and belittle you. If you are supernatural and godlike, they'll just drug you for the perceived insanity. It's all just abuse.

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