Saturday, February 15, 2014

Keeping the Secrets

I have to wonder if it is desired that I not become popular or well-known. There is probably some force out there that wants me to stay in obscurity. This does make sense, but:

1) Ever since I was young I was hoping and praying that I might someday make a million dollars. Being somewhat famous might be necessary to achieve this.

2) Growing up a mormon, I only ever learned that works of darkness, or works of secrecy, are actually an abomination before the Lord. Of course, there is a certain amount of secrecy (otherwise sacredness) about LDS temple rituals, but I didn't go to the temple so all I know is the book of mormon teachings about being honest and open about everything.

I mean, I was just looking at "ICBM OUYA" on google, and found two references to a conspiracy website that mentions OUYA [executive] (something) and the dismantling of the ICBM squadron that was announced about the same time as I released my ICBM game.

Then, realize that Flappy Bird's removal from sale could very well be some kind of secret message to me telling me that it's not good for me to be overly-successful and that I should pull my games from distribution, and well, I realize maybe I'm not supposed to be famous.

But my LDS upbringing disagrees.

I would like to note that I found a Facebook comment where some guy considers my game, ICBM, to have been too low quality for ever publishing on the OUYA. That is disappointing, considering just this evening I got a second rating of 4 stars giving me a total of 4.5/5 stars in two ratings on the OUYA.

It appears that I'm not popular, and considering that ICBM reached the bottom of the O-Rank numerous times, well, maybe I'm not supposed to be popular.

I suppose my life could take a different path than fortune and fame, but fortune and secrecy seems less likely than obscurity and poverty.

I may really-really have some beef with the mormons or the mormon church about certain issues, but I don't deny the reality of my patriarchal blessing depicting a possible future of some kind of possible "fame".

As for my thoughts about Mormonism, I recently remembered and will re-iterate my experience in the church where if you are a natural man burdened by little imperfections the church will berate and belittle you about small meaningless things. In order to be saved, you have to be supernaturally-overpowered, but as soon as that happens they start drugging you because of the perceived insanity. It does appear that it's impossible (in my experience) to live a happy life as a mormon free from any abuse. If you are normal human they berate and belittle you, if you achieve your supernatural godliness they just drug you.

But I still have my testimony of some kind of magic. And maybe I'm supposed to be kept hush-hush, but I've always wanted to achieve some kind of fortune and my patriarchal blessing seems to give me some fame.

No comments:

Post a Comment