I was so impressed by Elder Callister's talk yesterday - made me love the church again - but I just remember some small details from my actual experience with the church (which can be found in my books) - and I still don't understand how the LDS church really could be the one and only true and valid church of God.
Here's what I remembered:
The characters called the "Liabilitys" in my book were senselessly angry and vicious at me for no perceivable reason. Angry behaviour, or even senselessly angry behaviour, is deemed to be damned in the scriptures. I mean, you are in danger of the judgement in the scriptures for that behaviour, but the church just let them off the hook - they were forgiven. They emotionally/psychologically tormented and brutalized me, and they were just forgiven.
When I did what I did with the missionaries' car, and paid for the damages - was I just let off the hook? Nope. All I did was a little mischief and the church arrests me and forces me on drugs and won't let me believe in God or my personal testimony. I mean - according to the scriptures - I was supposed to be forgiven even if I didn't pay for the damages, which we did pay for - and the church didn't just forgive that.
So, mindless senseless vicious anger is forgiven by the church, despite scriptural resources that say it's really not supposed to be forgiven, while a little bit of mischief which is paid for out of pocket is seriously punished with completely crap.
They say they're the one true church --- but they sure don't make it believable with their behaviour.
Just to re-iterate:
Scripturally, behaviour that's not supposed to be forgiven was forgiven.
Scripturally, behaviour that is supposed to be easily forgiven was definitely NOT forgiven.
It just made no sense. And they claim they are the one true church.
I do have a testimony of their miracles and prophets and stuff --- but my personal life experience with them makes me wary about ever bothering with them ever again --- which is sad because apparently I have to have their sacred ordinances in order to be celestially saved.
They really didn't treat me very nicely - and now I guess I'm damned, even if I was completely willing to serve.