So, I'm trying a bit of thinking right now.
1) I forgave Annie, sometimes I express sorts of disapproval about the kinds of things that have come out of her email, but I am generally quite benevolent upon her personally.
2) Annie forgave me, she made it clear that whatever I did wrong, she doesn't hold it against me.
3) Annie and I are both quite perplexed at how who or why we aren't allowed to talk to each other anymore. Neither of us are being told much, well, I'm not being told much and she's being lied to. Hmm.
4) "The church" decided I should forgive those who destroyed my relationship with Annie. It hurt like hell, but yes, I am forgiving.
5) Bishop Stevens decided I wasn't even allowed to be friends with Avril Lavigne. I just don't understand how the church can expect or want me to be a travelling preacher to the nations when they won't let me be friends with some of my favourite women.
6) I am friends with Avril Lavigne anyways.
7) This Christmas season I really started forgetting about all kinds of the problems over the years, I let go of the negativity and felt magnetically attracted back to church, like all was forgiven. Today I felt like going to church with my mom, but;
8) My mom decided against letting me attend church today. She said she'd be staying there for over 3 hours, and well, she decided that I should probably just stay home for some reason.
That's interesting. I feel so totally forgiving and forgetful this christmas season and I feel magnetically drawn back to church --- but the one ticket or route I have to go back to church (my mom) tells me that I should probably stay home anyways.
Very interesting. Even my mom realizes that there's just something so wrong at church that I probably shouldn't attend anymore, even if I do feel so forgiving of all the issues, positive and drawn back.
So there you have it::: though not clearly articulated in any form::: my own mother thinks it's best that I don't attend even if I am forgiving and magnetically drawn back to them.
So somehow there's just something wrong with church, even if I forget what it is (although I realize I've had many psychological issues about them).