It really isn't hard to think of reasons to disbelieve in mormonism, just this morning I somehow got reminded or reminded myself of a whole history of crap.
But now I am feeling better again, and I am impressed by how friendly my Stake President is. President Miller is obviously trying to be friendly and christ-like, and that is actually really impressive.
He keeps offering to speak to me, but there always seems to be a reason why I can't go back to church or why I can't go in to talk to him for a friendly chat.
I mean, my mind is a really hard thinker, and I can always think of excuses for various things and all sorts of stuff like that.
I can come up with reasons why I can't be an elder, I can come up with reasons why I can't fulfill my patriarchal blessing, I can come up with reasons to believe in God, I can come up with reasons to suspect the Mormons of being a heavily flawed religion, or on the other hand reasons why I could like the mormons.
I think the church, in its purest highest form, is really a great thing. It's just that the standard membership fails in so many ways. If people did what they were actually supposed to - then that would be good.
I rant against my own church, but then I am actually just ranting about the bad decisions of the local membership in my personal experience, but there are various purer sources of Christian knowledge that reveal that the church is actually supposed to be good, and if it operated properly it would be great.
The apostles don't hide the fact that there are false teachers or that mormons aren't very good at forgiveness. Just look at the LDS apostles and they, themselves, will point out at least the very obvious flaws about our church, and that just helps me understand that we have someone with a brain at the top, which makes the church bearable.
And yes, it's great to have such a friendly and christ-like stake president.
Maybe it's just my own foible that I have a brain that is constantly thinking and reasoning about all kinds of failures and problems. Is it good for me to think about these things? Is it bad for me? How much of my life's history should I seriously be forgetting? Yes --- it appears I have a very good memory, especially about certain specific things. Is that actually wrong?