Saturday, December 7, 2013

Are the Meds working?

Either my meds are working well to fix my brain and help me feel forgetful and rested, or there's some spiritual force causing my old feelings of animosity to disappear.

In the past while, I've found myself feeling more comfortable with the mormons, largely forgetting my complaints and almost feeling like going back to church --- as if some of the concerns raised about church history in ex-and-anti-mormon youtube videos don't concern my mind anymore, as well as my own concerns not being important.

I actually had to make a mental effort to remind myself why I got so annoyed with the church.

I'm a coffee drinker now, so unless the mormons are ultra-forgiving and un-bigoted, I probably still won't be going to the temple or anything, but in my mind and heart I'm finding I'm less annoyed and more forgetful about the problems.

Like, this morning I thought I'd remind myself, so I had a quick look through The Book of Finch - just to remember, and it's so weird how it's almost like I'm reading a book I don't remember writing.

That's the other thing---- strange how The Number 23 movie story is starting to apply (sort of) to me in that I don't have clear memories of my old life or my book anymore, and when I read my story it's like making a discovery about my past --- except in this case I'm well aware that I wrote the book, whereas in the movie he forgot he even wrote a book. I just happen to forget the contents of the story, more or less.

So, when I remember the past, I realize how serious some of these issues are, but without remembering I enter into a state of ignorant bliss, and I almost wonder if I could go back to church.

Weird eh? It's like someone is praying for me.

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