Sunday, December 8, 2013

A Revised Word of Wisdom

One thing that mormons were so proud of for so long is the Word of Wisdom.

Now that I am more educated, I am inclined to believe that the Word of Wisdom was just a tool of manipulation and control.

Why?

1) Coffee is actually good for you. I love coffee. I've been drinking it on and off for the past 9 years, which may be why fat old me still doesn't have diabetes. When I first started drinking cola drinks, I only drank the sugared kind. You'd think this were a diabetes death sentence, but it wasn't. Maybe my coffee intake stopped the insulin problems. You can look it up on the internet: science has discovered that coffee helps prevent diabetes.

2) Alcohol is good for your heart, or at least a glass of wine a day is. I think I heard that on the news, correct me if I'm wrong (I'm just remembering a news report). Besides, Jesus made and drank alcohol --- if Jesus can do it, why can't you? Or are you telling me our perfect saviour had to repent of something?  And as for those who say the wine in the bible wasn't alcoholic, well if the wine in the bible wasn't alcoholic, I'd like to see you refute the alcoholic qualities of wine in the Book of Mormon! Oh ---- and logic suggest biblical wine did have alcohol in it.

3) If my eye-witness of Jesus Christ is to be trusted as accurate, then Jesus Christ is actually a cigarette smoker. I was personally kind of confused when I saw Jesus with a tobacco-stick in his mouth, but it's starting to make sense:::: the Word of Wisdom doesn't really dictate your entrance into heaven, no matter how much the Mormons think it's the law.

I mean, the mormons will let you drink all these sugary pops, diet pops, eat all the fatty food you want. You'll get diabetes and heart disease, but at least it wasn't against the word of wisdom.

I mean, my nutritionist has been telling me how bad pop really is --- I'm supposed to cut back on my pop intake drastically. I now know how to do this in a healthy way:::: drink Coffee.

My name is Kristian Attfield. I am or was a mormon. And I love coffee.

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