Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Not Helping Myself get new friends

I don't have much in the way of friends. I'm tortured by my inability to play nice local-multiplayer games with anyone on my game consoles.

And I have a problem.

Finding new friends might be difficult, especially when you factor in my history and the story of my book.

I try to tell the truth in my book, but unfortunately the truth isn't quite as nice as it should have been, and people may neglect being friends with me because of my history.

I mean, they're going to say "either you are completely crazy, nuts to think that way -- and if it's true then that's bad anyways".

It's really too bad I had such a hard or negative start in my life. I need friends, for a social life, to have fun, but the story of my life from years ago may reflect negatively upon me.

I was such a good kid, trying to do the best I could --- why did things have to turn out so wrong?

Anyway, it would be nice to have actual friends, someone I can invite over to play console games with --- but considering how sad my life's story has been, I find it doubtful that anyone will want any relationship with me.j

Is it my own personal fault that my life's story turned out that way, or was it external factors beyond my control that developed?

Personally, thinking about my life and how I tried my best, I would actually blame external factors beyond my own control - I am not quite perfect, but some of the worst parts of my story had nothing to do with my own decision making. Crap happens, and that's all that was. And it probably reflects negatively upon myself, regardless of how much of a "good boy" I tried to be.

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