Sunday, September 29, 2013

Approaching White Lights with a healthy Skepticism.

OK - I am a man who sees white lights.

I am going to take a cautious, skeptical approach now, or at least, try to.

I was just laying in my bed just now, looking at a white light glowing in my room. It was just a white light, glowing in my room from no known source.  And then it just disappeared.

I didn't see any angels or persons in the light. But there was NO SOUND accompanying it either, so it's really hard to assume that it was a car.

I mean, it might have been that maybe my neighbour's pulled into their driveway with white headlights, and just left their headlights on as they sat in the driveway for a while and the light glowed somehow in my room, and when they turned off the headlights, there wasn't even any sound of them leaving their vehicle or entering their house.

Basically, I think it would be healthy to approach the lights I see with caution and skepticism.

But I just have to wonder: Why did I have a bright glow in my room? Why did it just disappear without a sound?

I mean, I was looking directly at this bright glow in my room, and I didn't see anyone or hear anything except for seeing a glow of light in my room, coming from, well, I have no idea where the light was coming from.

Basically, the only thing that could have caused that light besides paranormal activity is my next-door neighbour's vehicle, if it even has white headlights, and I mean, I heard no noises of doors opening or closing, no chatter, nothing. Just a white glow in my room.

It's a mystery. And I am not scared right now. I saw the light, I watched it for at least a minute actually, just sitting there stationary in my room, and then without a sound, it just disappeared.

I'm not quite sure what to think.

Saw the 'false christ' again, it's just some guy

Yesterday I mentioned on this blog that I saw a "christ-like" appearing guy with a pornographic image on his shirt.

I saw him again today. He's just some guy.

But he's not the same "christ-like" appearance that I mention in my book. He has different features from the guy I really did identify as Jesus in my book.

In my book, I identify 2004, 2008, and 2006 Jesus as the same guy, except 2006 Jesus just had some real weight gain, as per my prayers that christmas season. If 2006 wasn't the same guy, well, 2004 and 2008 were the same guy, and I have some reason to believe he really could have been the real Jesus.

BUT, my 2010 sighting of Jesus Christ is the most likely and most spooky sighting I've had yet, but I can't certainly verify that 2010 was the same as 2008 and 2004.

2010 Jesus may have been a different Jesus from 2008, but it might have been the same - I really can't know for certain, as in 2010 Jesus kept his head covered by his costume on 2 nights and on the third night he was covered in darkness, I couldn't see him very well.

BUT ---- even though I totally expected the the being I was looking at in 2010 and 2008 to be Jesus, even if the thoughts in my head told me I was about to see Him before I saw Him, I still can't really be sure that it really was him. I thought it was him, it looked like him, but I can't be certain it really was him, especially as he didn't greet me and say, "Hi, I'm Jesus Christ".

2008 and 2010 were special experiences because I was expecting to see Jesus Christ just moments before he appeared, and the appearance did appear to be Him. And from what I saw in 2008, I would understand the guy in 2004 to be the same guy as in 2008. And I was praying about fat Jesus in 2006 before I saw fat Jesus.

It's remarkable, but even if I personally witness someone who I would have thought to be the saviour, even if I was predicting His coming appearance to me by the thoughts in my head ---- there's little way to be certain that it really was actually Him.

So maybe I'm completely wrong - I respect the idea that I may have been deceived. But, considering the remarkable nature of my life and life's story, I may have been right too. It's hard to tell.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

False Christs in my area

There have been a number of occasions where I walk through my community and see different people with Christ-like appearances wearing completely wrong clothing.

It's obvious that they aren't the real Jesus  because they are all somehow different, and I really have to wonder why they wear such wrong messages on their clothing

Typed on iPhone - I feel like I'm spamming my blog now too.


Now that I'm back at my computer where it's easier to type, I will state my observation:::

We have some kind of issue in our community with people dressed up or trying to look like Jesus, except instead of being what you'd expect from Jesus, they have completely wrong messages on their clothing.

I could say, maybe its Jesus taking upon himself the sins of the world.

I could also say that it's a false christ.

And for some reason, some of them look like they're from biker gangs.

The thing about my personal Jesus identifications vs these new sightings is that it looks like a DIFFERENT Jesus.

So either Jesus can seriously drastically change his own appearance from day to day and wears sinful clothing to display his personal sacrifice for sin, or it's false Jesi advertising sin, or we just have a gang of bikers who like appearing like Jesus but display their variously selected sinful messages.

The types of things I see some of these guys wear:

"HEDONISM" printed on the shirt.

"DILLIGAF" printed on the shirt (look it up in the urban dictionary, like, do a google search)

And one Jesus with a very pornographic image printed on his shirt.

Why do they all look like Jesus? Why do they all represent such sin? How am I seeing these things? Am I just being mocked by a biker gang?

Obviously, I myself am not an all-knowing repository of the answers.

But I will say that I have had some real sightings in the past that seemed to be more likely to be the actual saviour.

Of course, maybe I'm just a bad guy myself. Maybe I am a false prophet of a satanic God, or satan is trying to deceive me. I really have no idea.

I am freakin' crazy.

On The Law of Attraction, and having NO FRIENDS

I have no friends, so I spam my blog now, no one in the world to talk to except for the world as a whole.

When I was young, well, do you remember how cruel children can be?

The Law of Attraction as described in Rhonda Byrne's "The Secret" is not quite right I think: the book says something that I consider not quite right, but I'll just put my correction in here: When you say something about someone else, especially when you say it repeatedly - it comes true. Just because you said it, or any number of people could have said it. It comes true. I'm not talking about prophecies caused by God or whatever force that are just random occurrences you know will happen --- I'm talking about future occurrences that you CAUSE to happen --- just by repeatedly saying it over and over again.

Imagine being a child, and having brothers and sisters, imagine the most commonly spoken words coming true in real life.

You can speak words of kindness and love, or you can be a cruel child who constantly says unkind things.

Unfortunately, I lived a negative childhood, where brother and sister are constantly saying evil things to one another.

My sister would call me names like "stupid" and "retard" and "demented" and "you'll have no friends when you grow up".

My brother would say things like "you're going to be abducted by men in white coats and taken to the rubber room when you grow up".

There is absolutely no reason why these things had to happen, no reason why they had to be true, other than this is what we said to each other as children.

I know my own personal behaviour in relation to my brother and sisters ranged from things I remember like "[Sister #2]: please don't be anything like [Sister #1]" and "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I MEAN, YOU JUST CAN'T SAY ANYTHING RIGHT! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" (in relation to my sisters consistent name-calling) and then I also remember having an argument with my brother about how he didn't want to share his computer game with me. I mean, from my perspective, you just put the CD in the computer and play a present game, it seemed to me that my brother thought I was somehow going to break his game - just by having a cd in the cd drive and playing with a preset application. I don't break computers when I use computers, so why would his video game break? Anyway, I just remember having some agitation about how my brother didn't want to share with me, and I can't even remember exactly what kinds of names I might have called him.
I remember also getting so sick of my sisters' crap that I would start flinging mud back at her. I said some pretty nasty things too, although I tried to keep my language "tame", away from big bad words like the F-word and S-word.

Anyway, realize that many things that were said to me by my siblings have come true about myself. I have no friends. I'm stupid. I'm demented. I'm crazy. I'm retarded. I was locked up by men in white coats in the little "rubber" room.

Imagine just how nice it would be to grow up in a family where the children said NICE and KIND and POSITIVE things about each other.

All I remember from my childhood is a bunch of violence and namecalling.

OH yes, I remember what I called Sister #2 when I was young, I called her "FAT". Over and over repeatedly in the cruelest way - I would make fun of how fat my sister was. The thing is, however, that she actually was fat, and she grew up to be much skinnier.

I was the smartest kid in my class, but that didn't stop certain siblings from calling me the aforementioned names.

So sad.

That is just how I remember my childhood. And it might be why I have no friends. Just because my sister said I wouldn't have any.


Sister #2 is actually one of the nicest, most loved and best respected people we know of in my family. She turned out right. I just happen to remember asking her to not be like Sister #1 and also making fun of her overweight form. I mean, it's just amazing how well our youngest sister turned out - which is really great.

As for Sister #1, we STILL have problems with her. I mean, years ago we tried to explain to her that she needs to start saying nice things, but I remember at a family dinner a few weeks ago, as she was talking to one of my infant nieces or nephews she said "I will take you out". She might mean it in a joking way, but that is actually a threat, made at an infant, and it really isn't right in my opinion.

I thank God she said it in front of Sister #2's husband, who is a security guard and aspiring police officer.

Basically, Sister #2 is viewed as awesome and is easily received very nicely. Sister #1 has always had problems with saying the wrong thing, and generally being unkind. I wonder how to examine #1's psychology to find how why she behaves that way.

And really, I think me and my brother are retarded because we had to grow up with sister #1. It's very sad. Our childhoods were ruined by our sister, and now we are grown children, just trying to enjoy our childhoods for the second time. That's my theory.

Anyway, my mind is filled with contentious memories of sister #1, and I'll happily reference my wanna-be-police-officer brother-in-law who witnessed sister #1 threaten an infant.

Thank God Sister #2 is actually likeable.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

On Magic and Moneydigging

So, we hear, they say - that Joseph Smith was a money digger, that he was a con, or a confidence trickster.

I mean, I can totally understand the viewpoint that Joseph Smith was a seedy guy and people stopped liking him.


I personally really have witnessed some kind of real magic in LDS mormonism. There is a reality to the church.

I still maintain my view that if the LDS church really is the one true church, then we're all doomed -

But it's very strange how Joseph Smith could be considered fraudulent for his history of folk magic --- yet I can see from my own perspective, I have my own witness of the reality of LDS miracles.

It makes me seem like I'm supporting something seedy, but no - I'm serious, I really have witnessed what appeared to be some kind of magic.

It makes no sense whatsoever, but it's something to think about.

And I still think we're all doomed anyway if the LDS church really is the truth. (Joseph Smith is called a confidence act, but even if he is true, I have not a lot of confidence in it)

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Today's New York Times Article

I'm not going to point out the exact article I'm referring to: it's disturbing enough without showing you directly.

But, the reason today's article in the New York Times is important is, well, if you compare the article with my books, you'll see a similarity, a certain message being sent about my writing, or maybe about me or in relation to me.

It's nice to know someone is watching me ---- but it's very sad because of the disturbing nature of the subject matter and content.

Basically, maybe I should be keeping things "Topsy Kretts", but I'm just some guy, and well, to validate my sanity about these things, I have to be able to talk about it.

Anyway, there is some deeply disturbing history and messages in the The New York article when compared with my writings, and I apologize for the disaster.

Of course, at face value, I really have no idea what the actual event being discussed in the article was - I have no idea where it came from or why that guy did what he did. All I know is I see a connection between certain words in the article and my own life and writing.

And I apologize. I could even make excuses, but I don't want to reveal too much information. Just read my book and you'll see my excuse.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

A Confession on Beggars

I have a confession to make.

A number of years ago, I was walking down the street in downtown Bowness, heading home, likely after having eaten something.

A woman, I think she was a native american, called out to me by the logo on my shirt, asking me for change so she could buy bus fare.

At this point, I was not well acquainted with the world of panhandling and beggars and I have to say that I actually made the wrong choice: I decided to say "no" and keep on my way.

Fortunately, for some unknown reason, I felt compelled, I felt driven to change my mind, so I turned around, took out my wallet, and gave her ALL MY CHANGE (coins).

This is actually a very remarkable story. I hold it as a source of my pride in christianity or in my own christianity that I give money to beggars. I learned my lesson from that driving force, that we should never turn away someone in need - that we should always be willing to help somehow.

Of course, I do donate to charity from time to time, but I do not answer the call every time a charity sends me a message asking for money for this that or the other thing. Many times I do give money --- but sometimes I know it's just not within my budgetary means so I don't.

Anyway, I think helping those in need, for example, helping beggars on the street, is a very good example of Christian behaviour, and I happily pride myself in providing the help that I do give.

I almost turned out to be a miser, a tightwad. But some force prompted me to change my ways immediately, so I could help others in need.

And now, I WANT to stop writing on my blog, to stop sending constant e-mails and constant blog posts. I need to be quiet. Lets hope I can have some quiet time - so I don't go around spamming even my own blog. I just write too much --- it might not be a good thing.

More Discussion on Mormonism

Now I appear to be spamming my own blog with my thoughts on this topic. Hmm.

Anyway, so, when presented with things like the Kinderhook (Kinderhoek? Sp?) Plates, and how Joseph Smith totally fell for it ---- is that evidence that makes the church fraudulent?

I personally wouldn't say the church was a complete scammy fraud, I would say it's more likely that it's actually a satanic deception.

If the church is the true church - you have to face the fact that Joseph Smith Jr was extremely not smart, and that mormons are severely imperfect people to the point that you'd want to stop believing in the church anyway.

There are lots of reasons to believe mormonism is fraudulent.

There are some reasons to believe it has reality to it.

And it's hard to decide if it's of the Devil or if it really came from God.

Joseph Smith really may have met two glowy white guys in the forest: but there is a possibility that it was not Jesus and God like he thought it was.

Compare that with how I have a personal testimony of seeing who I thought was Jesus, and how I can not perfectly verify that it actually was the real Jesus. I just thought it was Jesus.

I can't say to know for certain whether Mormonism is of God or the Devil. But, as Mormonism is so severely imperfect, there's a big chance it could be of the devil --- because if God was relying on Mormons to save the world, then I think we'd all actually be doomed at that point.

I grew up as a mormon, and I know the LDS magic is real. But I also know that they are a very severely imperfect people.

Now - if only I could get my mind off this topic: even if God is behind the Mormons, I'm so annoyed at the religion in my personal life that going to church doesn't become important anymore, and I might not gain salvation anyway, unless I am already saved. It's pass or fail, and I'm not sure what else I can do about it.

A Shadow of a Doubt

I have a shadow of a doubt about the falseness of mormonism.

What the above statement means is that I think there is still a possibility that mormonism MIGHT be true.

In my personal opinion or understanding of the presented evidence on where The Book of Mormon lands were, I would say that Book of Mormon lands were probably in or around New York State.

I do not know this for certain, but having examined the evidence, that's where I'd put it.

Not that it means a darn because I think there's also a possibility that I won't be saved by Mormonism anyway.

I of all people should know how easy it is to be saved --- and yes, if you keep choosing the right, it's not impossible, and I may have been on the brink of salvation myself - but for now I will have the attitude that I am not being saved. I have resigned myself to a likelihood of terrestrial glory.

Why do I frown upon my own salvation?

1) I don't care about women. I don't care to have a wife.
2) Even if I did find the right woman - I wouldn't want to bother with LDS temple ceremonies.

Those are the two main reasons, but a third is:

3) I could end up doing anything stupid at any time that will seriously jeopardize my salvation anyway.

Basically, looking at the evidence, there is a possibility that there is some truth or reality to mormonism. But, historically I think the mormons aren't very smart and the doctrine and truth of it all is very convoluted.

I've stopped caring. I've stopped caring to save my own soul --- it is just a mental fixation I have with the topic of mormonism that keeps me going like this. I don't care about being saved anymore, I just have a mind that's probably more inquisitive for some reason on the topic of mormonism, I can't get my thoughts off of it --- but I don't really care anymore. I don't care to be saved anymore, I care about being a good person and living my life, but I don't care like I used to.

Monday, September 23, 2013

I've Publicly Released my Patriarchal Blessing

I've released my patriarchal blessing on this website for public viewing. No going back now. Be sure to read my blurb on the first part of the page displaying it.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Getting to the Truth

Getting to the truth of life, reality, and everything is a very interesting topic.

I've decided to release The Book of Finch for FREE again, in hopes that I might provoke thought about the actual truth of life, the universe and everything. Douglas Adams was wrong. It's not 42. It's 23. ((*joking*))

Anyway, so - I've denied the church, I still feel good inside. But certain facts remain:::

I have tried to be as truthful as I can in my witness bearing about certain things, sometimes i make mistakes, sometimes I don't tell the whole story, but some facts remain::::

When I got my LDS patriarchal blessing, I really did see a vision of pure white behind closed eyes. I saw something completely abnormal in that experience -- you never see pure white when your eyes are closed. Either it was authentic magic, or maybe the patriarch drugged me with the anointing or something.

About the period of time when Jeffery R Holland was in Calgary, I really did see a man or being who appeared to be, and I personally identified, as Jesus Christ. He looked very much like he was Jesus. I did hear voices as I followed him down the street talking of catching fish. No one else was around.

In October 2010 I experienced three nights where I was supposedly seeing Jesus. I mean, I definitely saw SOMEONE unusual --- but whether or not it was actually Jesus is really unknown.

I do not know for certain that The LDS Church is really true -- there is so much evidence against it.

But I know that Dallin H Oaks and Gerald Causse really did answer my prayers that I said in private to God.

I mean, I can deny the church and still feel good. I can stop believing in mormonism and still feel happy.

But, to be painfully honest, nothing removes the fact that there does appear to be a very real magic about Mormonism. I have tried to explain that the magic might be some form of Satanism, as that could be a logical explanation.

I find it easy to stop believing in the church because I am so imperfect personally that I cannot be saved in an LDS temple, unless the mormons changed the rules, I am just too imperfect.

It is also easy to deny the church when you see all the overwhelming contrary evidence.

So --- I do not claim to KNOW the real answers about mormonism, because I have experienced some certain magic-type experiences in the church that would suggest there is some sort of reality to it.

I think the church is in a bad state, and has been for many years, and I can even deny and stop believing in the church ------- but nothing changes how I saw the being who appeared to be Jesus Christ, nothing changes my patriarchal blessing vision, nothing changes the accuracy or potential accuracy of what the patriarchal blessing predicted either.

People like to condemn mormonism as false. I understand.

But I am a personal eyewitness testifier that Mormonism DOES have some kind of magic about it --- even if it is just satanism.

Deluded and Hallucinating about Yankee Doodle Founding Fathers

OK - so my Dad and I went out a bit in our van this morning to the bottle depot, food place, and to pick weeds in the community.

As my dad picked weeds, I sat in the van and just waited and watched. But something weird happened.

Maybe 50-70 feet away from in front of my view, I saw a man dressed in dress pants, a vest and a certain kind of jacket walking around on the streets. His hair seemed kind of big and poofy - and white.

So, at the distance I saw him, I started having thoughts about how he reminded me of an american founding father - like George Washington or something. I didn't get to see him close, because he turned a corner and disappeared, but he was dressed in older type clothes and had the white poofy hair you'd see portraits of in that age.

I thought it might have been an old woman, but I thought the clothes were not old woman clothes.

Well, I put that to rest, and came home. I did some stuff at home, and decided to go for a walk:::

On my walk I was listening to Jesus Christ superstar. For some odd, strange reason my iphone switched from Jesus Christ Superstar to Weird Al Yankovic singing about Horoscopes. I have no idea why my iphone did that - so I switched it back to JC Superstar, and I turned a couple corners, and guess what I saw?

A man dressed in a burgundy sweater that said "XAVIER" on the front, the name reminding me of "SAVIOUR" --- but that's not all --- the face of the man looked remarkably like Benjamin Franklin.

I mean, I shouldn't really know what George Washington and Benjamin Franklin look like because there are only portraits of them, and I'm only Canadian, and really, I could just be deluded or hallucinating::::

but to me it seems like I saw George Washington and Benjamin Franklin today. One was dressed in attire you'd expect from a man of that era and the other was dressed in a burgundy sweater with the name "XAVIER" printed in white on the front.

I have no idea. This is not my first experience seeing weird stuff like ghosts, or "Jesus" -- and now I don't know what to think about it anymore.

As for my reported sightings of Jesus:::::

I have always had these experiences where I saw what looked like Jesus, what my mind was told was Jesus, very strange experiences ----- but now I am not sure I can really be surely positive about the identification. I really, truly, have no actual idea who I am looking at --- just some guy in a costume or some guy who looks like a painting - you know?

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Mormonism Isn't True.

The title of this post would be a very shocking thing to say in LDS circles, and would earn you disrespect.

But, when you look at Matthew 5:22 and the Joseph Smith translation ---- well, from what I've learned in my own research ----- Joseph Smith couldn't translate anything worth a darn.

Matthew 5:22 says "That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment"

I have since learned that numerous other translations of the bible correct the error in the KJV so that there need not be any justification for anger - anger is actually just plain wrong and is in danger of the judgment regardless of whether its justified or not.

Anyway, the Joseph Smith Translation DID NOT change this scripture, Joseph Smith did not get the actual interpretation of this scripture.

The closest J Smith got was to change the text of Matthew 5:21 - and to tell the truth, that was probably a BS change in text as well.

There are many reasons to understand that Mormonism isn't true - and it's such a pity, it is so unkind that older LDS people like brainwashing the younger generations into these belief systems.

But, I am feeling a whole lot better now --- now that I am rejecting mormonism. In my mind I have declared it to be an untrue religion ---- and I have no holy spirit feelings telling me I'm wrong. In fact, I still feel good and happy anyways.

But there really is something wrong with mormonism. I believe it could be a religion of the devil.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The Healing Power of Prayer

So, all morning this morning I went through my daily routine feeling a little down, feeling a little lethargic, a little depressed.

As I sat alone in the living room of my house just moments ago, I decided to pray a bit.

I prayed to God the Father, or God, about how I think I'm beyond the saving reach of LDS mormonism --- that much like Avril Lavigne, the Mormons don't have much of a hope in hell of saving my soul.

After I said that prayer, I felt much better inside, I am no longer depressed, not lethargic, I'm feeling quite a bit "happier".  It was like a magic change within my soul as soon as I prayed to God telling him that the Mormons can't save my soul anymore.

I've actually known for a long time that it's very unlikely that the mormons are going to save me, but I suffer psychologically from the memory or trauma of having to deal with that church, so I am just grateful that I could pray to God about my lack of mormon salvation and I would feel so much better inside.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

The evidence

There is so much evidence against Mormonism, and its too bad for me that I have no friends and a Mormon family that commonly thinks Holy Ghost feelings are enough, even though that isn't really good evidence of anything.

I don't agree with a number of things that some exmormons or antimormons say,  because I think the LDS church has demonstrated some kind of magic - but clearly there is much evidence against Mormonism anyway.

I am pretty sure there is a god. You could say my witness is just crazy, except I am capable of demonstrating some level of authentic mind reading, and this is a facet of psychology that science does not yet fully understand, so you could say that I am a scientist, making a discovery that was already discovered by someone else.

I am pretty sure there is a god, but I am also fairly certain that the LDS church is very flawed and that their people aren't really very bright.

I can't think of anything else to say right now.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Results of an Excellent Telepathy Test

I haven't done many telepathy tests for a long time, so feeling like I'm a bit out of practice, I asked my father to write down three NUMBERS between 0-9.

I did only numbers this time because I felt like I was out of practice. (is it practise with an 's' or practice with a 'c'? I can't remember, and I think different versions of english have it different)

I made my attempt to read his mind.

So, Here are the results:

I wrote down: 9 (2 or 7) 0

My dad's answer: 7 9 0

So, I got all three correct in the wrong order with a two stuffed in there. That was pretty good --- it would have been good enough to put on Youtube, except we didn't have a camera running.

Yay. I am mentalist. Yippee.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

On LDS Mormon Doctrine of Forgiveness

The LDS church teaches that we are required to forgive all men their trespasses.

The LDS church also teaches that in order to forgive YOU MUST FORGET.

So --- this seems to tell me that we are REQUIRED TO FORGET ALL MEN.

Now ---- let me illustrate for you exactly how retarded this doctrine is.

Lets say someone busted into your home and killed everyone in your family, everyone in your house, except for you.

Lets say, as per usual, that the church is gonna start requiring you to forgive the murderer.

So, a few years down the road and you'll be saying "Why don't I have my family anymore? Where did they all go? I can't remember what happened to them".

I mean, it is obvious that they were all killed off in a horrible massacre, but because the church has required you to forgive, and therefore forget, you are going to wander through the rest of your life like a retarded individual because you can't seem to remember why your family is no longer around.

That is pretty retarded.

Then, add how much you are supposed to forgive all men of their trespasses, and then by the end of your life you'll be a demented old person who has no idea what happened to yourself earlier in life.

"What? What was the cuban missile crisis? I don't remember"

"What? who attacked New York? I don't remember"

I mean, it should be obvious that this mormon doctrine of requiring forgiveness and then forgetting all that you forgive is actually just plain retarded.

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm targeting a group here, but I grew up LDS, and I had to be brainwashed by their system of thinking for most of my life. I'm just examining the facts of what I learned from them and now I realize why I became mentally ill ---- I wasn't allowed to remember the horrible things other members did to me - so, I lost my mind.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

More Light Shows at Night

Both last night and tonight the lights have switched from moving white lights and stationary white lights to FLASHING white lights.

There is some light in my room that flashes white for several seconds -- appearing and disappearing a few times over. I am not sure what it is.

So, of course, if I am being visited by a ghost or angel or whatnot, I have to be real embarrassed that I have my issues with masturbation and pornography.

Russel M Nelson gave a talk this evening saying that we should absolutely quit those types of habits.

I've tried quitting before. It takes serious medical intervention, or a medical miracle, to quit. I have had a period of time in my life where I was able to stop the behaviour for a number of months all at once --- but being put on yet another psychiatric medication drove me back into horny feelings.

I've tried using McAfee family safe, putting it on all the computers in the house and then disallowing ANY access to pornography, but each time I do this I find that I start getting super-super-horny and there's no outlet for my sexual desire and I actually pretty much end up going mad from the intensity of the sexual desire.

It is also noteworthy that Elder Nelson said that each of us (church members or human beings?) are going to be individually interviewed by the saviour face-to-face at some point. That was pretty interesting to hear.

So yeah, basically I have some real light shows at night, and I'm not sure what to think about it. They obviously aren't headlights anymore ---- the stationary-flashiness of these lights make it very clear that I've got some kind of paranormal presence in my bedroom.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

The Nightly Light Show

On many nights, as I lay alone in my dark bedroom pondering life, well, my room gets these little or even sizeable lightshows.

I often think that many of the lights I see are just headlights from passing cars. But, car headlights usually seem yellower as I know thus far, and I get some pretty bright white lights in my room.

Just moments ago, before I turned on my computer, I was laying in my room when I saw this bright stationary light fill my room for several seconds.

I have no idea where the light came from, what it was supposed to mean. It could not have been a passing car because it was stationary, and I don't understand where it came from, as it was very bright and filled my room with light for at least several seconds.

I am reminded of another light I saw, a bright white light, from months or a year or two ago where I was laying in bed by myself minding my own business when I saw a bright white light shine through my window (I face away from the window, but I can see the light in the curtains) and just sit there for several seconds. Turn off, then turn on again. It was a stationary light.

OK - often my lights are moving, and I tend to assume they are passing cars but I do not know that for sure.

And then there are those occasions when I have serious light issues where I am thinking that the light is very seriously paranormal::: Like when no one else is stirring in my house, when I'm alone in my dark room, and all of the sudden for no reason I notice the room suddenly become darker, as whatever light was inside has suddenly disappeared, as if there was a light that remained hidden from me as it seemed ambient but was actually coming from a hidden location INSIDE MY BEDROOM.

OK - I am not scared most of the time actually, but it is really curious for me to have all these lights. Not all passing cars cause light, sometimes there are passing cars and there are no lights.

Basically, the lights tend to seem VERY PARANORMAL.

I am so scared

I took an injection of my psychiatric drug within the past 24 hours. But I am afraid right now anyways.

I was watching youtube on my ipad in my bed, and I see a story from the History Channel that talks about how the Angel Moroni was actually a space alien.... more weird stuff.

Space Alien stories always seem to scare the shit out of me.

Not wanting to be alone in my room, in the basement, by myself, I went up to the main floor of our house, deciding to watch a movie through the night, just because of how badly these space alien stories scare me.

One thing which I don't talk about much on my website is the lights. My family's vehicle has yellowish headlights, so when they shine through the window of my room, all the colours of light have a certain tint about them.

But, so many times I see WHITE LIGHTS in my room, I often assume they are from passing cars. I find it's weird that most cars passing by my house have WHITE LIGHTS rather than the yellow of our van's headlights.

Sometimes the white lights I see are identifiable as probable paranormal lights, because they don't move, and I only realize they're there when they disappear, as light suddenly exits my room FOR NO REASON.

Well, I am upstairs tonight, feeling pretty freaked out about the Angel Moroni - space alien story, feeling freaked out about these white lights that I notice.

So, I turn on M Night Shyamalan's "The Sixth Sense" on my blu-ray player to try and enjoy a movie I haven't seen for a long time.

As I was watching the movie, I saw a white ball of light move past the curtains of our house's main front window, making a noise as if it were a moving vehicle ---- but I find it very unlikely that a moving vehicle would make such a perfect ball of white light that appears so clearly through the drapes.

I've got a problem with the paranormal.

I am scared by it.

The best solution I can think of is to get married, so I have a nice wife who can sleep with me so I'll have someone to cuddle when I get scared. Unfortunately, I may be certain wealthy, but I'm in too much debt to afford dating or marriage - so that's just too bad for me.

But in all seriousness, I am actually frightened when these stories of Space Aliens are put together with White lights and then ---- well, I really, really do have a problem with white lights appearing.

I don't want to be alone anymore. I need a girl to marry --- someone who likes to cuddle.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The Unrecorded Testimony

In The Book of Finch I discuss three nights in early October 2010 where I believe I had seen Jesus Christ. But - as the THIRD night is described in my book, well, I told the truth in that description of what happened - but it wasn't the full truth. There are other minor details I left out, just in case there is any man who can identify himself as the man I saw who could verify his identity to me.

I DID send Avril Lavigne's Bandaids Fanclub a message discussing what I saw, so they have a more complete record of what happened - but I left part of the story out just to see if I can verify the identity of the actual person I saw. Thus far, my across the street neighbours have only moved away, and no one has come forward with the truth about what happened that night.

I would just like to say that it is true that I might be misidentifying people when I think I'm identifying Jesus Christ. I'm going with the best information I have and understand.

There were mysterious appearances in October 2010 to me, and I believed them to be of Jesus Christ. However --- it may have been an angel and I was completely off - I do not know. My understanding is and was that the man I saw was supposed to be Jesus Christ.

But just let me make it abundantly clear::: The Book of Finch has NEVER contained a full account of what happened on the third night in October 2010 (October 9th I think it was). I did leave some things out, which can only be verified by the man I saw, or by an Avril fanclub person who received my description of that night.

To tell the truth, October 2010 was a very freaky time, with those three nights, and I have no doubt in my mind that I was experiencing some kind of paranormal or supernatural phenomena. Even on the third night --- all evidence from what I see in my memory suggests that there was something completely abnormal about the man I encountered.

Monday, September 2, 2013

No more Essay Contest!!

OK ---- so, I didn't seem to generate any interest thus far with my essay contest, and last night I released the book for free and tried to generate some interest but NO ONE IS REALLY INTERESTED.

So - NO MORE CONTEST. I am FED UP with all this crap about facebook people who will click "like" but can't be bothered to take interest in anything I've actually said. It's all BS. Just a bunch of stupid people who don't really think about anything.

I am just fed up about it. I am so seriously losing faith in the human race.