Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Being Kindly

One of the things that's beginning to bother me about myself is any possible situation where I may have been unkind. I think unkind behaviour may have a way of coming around and "nipping" back at you, so I'm basically paranoid about how my behaviour has been over the past few or several years.

Even if someone is being unkind to you, even if someone hurts you, logically - it make sense to give a kindly response.

For some reason this is just the attitude of my soul at this moment. There is a psychological force that would likely cause one to "bite back" when they've been hurt ---- but my soul feels currently inclined to be nice to everyone, even if they offend me.

I am experiencing a fear of my own unkind behaviour. I feel that it's important to be nice - even to those who wrong us.

That is a totally abnormal way of thinking, but it actually makes sense when you consider the possibly devastating consequences of unkind behaviour.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

A Political Message the Night B4 My Birthday

I just felt like writing a bit about my political opinions. I'll keep it short:

I was a very big supporter of George W Bush in the 2000 election (though I am canadian). Upon reviewing what I think about it, looking back, even though I've made a shift left in my political positions::: I STILL think GW Bush was the better choice over Al Gore. In fact, I might not be popular for saying this, but I think invading Iraq was an OK or good move. On the Daily Show, an old Iraqi airforce(military?) officer appeared on the show and said the chemical weapons were moved to Syria. And this didn't get much media attention, but that's what I remember hearing the guy say.

And though I've made a shift left in my political stance, I am happily living with a Conservative Canadian government - no real complaints there either.

And where my left-shift becomes important is I get to feel comfortable under Alison Redford of the Alberta Progressive Conservatives.

Alison Redford is one of the more left-leaning PC leaders, and it's OK for her to be that way to me. Of course, Alberta is going back into debt, and that doesn't seem like a good idea, and maybe going into debt was the wrong choice ---- but for poor disabled handicapped people, Alison Redford did good to those who are marginalized in society and I applaud her for that.

I was told the Wild Rose party had a similar platform towards the disabled as Alison Redford, but for our local Wild Rose candidate I'm not so sure. I DID vote wildrose actually, but I am OK with the PC's, and I would have likely been OK with the Liberals too.

Sometimes I wish I could just vote for more than one candidate - like in Australia.

OK --- so i didn't like my local Wild Rose party candidate too much, but I did vote for him. He lost. I'm OK with the PC's ---- Alison Redford was very good with the disabled and I appreciate that.

But one of the GOOD things the Federal Liberals did when they got into power --- well, the gun control thing was expensive and may have been a bit in error --- but gun control is the type of thing that likely saved me from myself. It's a good thing I'm not an american. And now I'm living happily again.

And that's my political position --- I like both sides. Hah. :)

Friday, July 26, 2013

Are LDS Scriptures Truly Incoherent?

Upon closer examination of LDS scriptures and doctrine, there are some things that make the LDS church seem incoherent and misunderstood. Or maybe there's nothing to understand.

But if it wasn't for LDS-related miracles which I've already witnessed, I might or would just give up on the church altogether. There are some incoherencies in the scriptures or doctrine.

The Book of Mormon says "By the wicked are the wicked punished".

So - when a high council excommunicates someone - does that mean the high council is wicked?

Didn't Jesus say "He who is WITHOUT SIN may cast the first stone"?

This is a bit of an incoherency. Jesus Christ in the bible requires perfect righteousness before punishing a sinner, but The Book of Mormon says the wicked punish the wicked.

So - are high councils wicked when they excommunicate - or are they really-very righteous?

This is a bit confusing.


I believe in God, Angels, Miracles, and the church did give me a good upbringing to believe and experience these things ---- but upon close examination of scriptures and doctrine, I am confused.

Does the Holy Ghost have a wife? Did pre-mortal God Jehovah have a wife? ---- if these spirit Gods had no wife, then Joseph Smith misrepresented what it means to be a God. If Jehovah did have a wife - what happened to her when Jehovah became Jesus???

Yes yes --- confusing and incoherent. But there does appear to be a miraculous quality.

Maybe Joseph Smith just wasn't a very good prophet. Kind of like how I AM a mentalist - but I'm not a very good mentalist. Maybe there could have or there was some reality to Joseph Smith - but he could have many any number of errors. Who knows?

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Pfhonge 1.2.0 submitted for review

I have submitted a new version of Pfhonge for review: version 1.2.0. In this version, I've added the ability to purchase "Score Mode", which is a way to play a more traditional ball and paddle type game, where there are no blocks and getting the ball past the opponent's paddle scores you a point. Five points to win.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Notes about Christianity and the Law

I'm just going to jot down some notes I came up with while discussing a little religion in a van ride with my parents:

The amazing thing about Christianity is that it does teach forgiveness and mercy. This is actually really quite a development over Judaism. In Judaism, you'd be stoned for walking too far on the Sabbath. In Christianity, you can do pretty much whatever you want on your Sabbath and need not face criticism for it. It's for rules like these that the doctrine of always forgiving makes sense. Some lawsets, like the law of Moses, are very nitpicky about how you live your life and there's so much you always have to be doing. In christianity, these nitpicky little laws are set aside and you gain more freedom. The sabbath day thing is an example.  This is one of the things that makes christianity so amazing.

We then discussed about how Jesus would not scorn or shun or anyhow punish a person for drinking coffee, though there is a rule in LDS against drinking coffee. My dad then made a note about how if Jesus were alive today, the LDS church wouldn't allow him to be baptized because he drank alcohol.

This did seem like an idea of conundrum::: how is it that we would not baptize Jesus Christ himself just because he was a drinker of the ethanol?

I figured this out too:: there are lesser laws, and there are higher laws. An example of a lesser law is the Law of Moses, like don't eat pig meat in any form. An example of a higher law is to not marry divorced women.

Mormons don't follow the same lesser laws as Judaism, but mormons also do not follow the higher law(s) of the kingdom of heaven. Some of the rules in place in the LDS church are of a lesser nature that are meant to help our lives but have no real determination in getting to heaven.

Rules against drinking coffee or alcohol, I will guess, are lesser rules that have no bearing on your heavenly status, but the church has instated them for the health of the people.

It's kind of like how Caffeine has health issues, and for a long time a lot of mormons thought caffeine was banned.  Caffeine isn't really banned, but it does have health issues. You can drink caffeine and still go to the temple, but common sense dictates that you shouldn't drink too much caffeine. It's really just like that with the whole word of wisdom, except some parts of these health guidelines are more rules than just guidelines.

And then there are the legalistic mormons who will condemn and criticize for drinking caffeine where in fact caffeine isn't even actually wrong --- it's a health issue but it's not banned. It's just something you have to be wise about. Alcohol wasn't always banned you know, and they only banned it for the sake of weaker saints who would be having problems.

Then I went off on a bit of a tangent discussing the difference between CTR, Choose the Right, and WWJD, What Would Jesus Do?

Though it would seem Jesus would always choose the right, there is a slight difference between the mormon acronym and the one other christians use.

Choose the Right could be interpreted to mean that you should always obey and follow all the nitpicky rules, like 'no caffeine'.  That is a way that CTR could be interpreted, but that isn't actually what Jesus would do. Jesus was not about always obeying nitpicky rules, but rather allowing greater freedom and causing people to not cast stones at small imperfections.

So, CTR isn't quite the same thing as WWJD, and for that reason that may be why Mormonism is so legalistic, which isn't really quite right. There is a value to CTR - but when CTR means no caffeine at all and making everyone else not drink caffeine, that's an interpretation of CTR but it isn't actually WJWD, or what Jesus would do.

There is value to CTR and WWJD, but the Mormon CTR emplaces a very legalistic attitude that actually isn't what Jesus likely intended. CTR has value, but it is a bit different than WWJD.

So -- I think Mormonism has some truth and reality to it, but I can understand why so many other Christians have such a problem with it. I don't think mormonism is perfect, but I don't discount it entirely.

CTR has value, but WWJD is a bit different, slightly different meanings. CTR was about always obeying the rules like a Jew - WWJD is about picking corn on the Sabbath and forgiving sins.

LoAttraction, or Prophecy?

Slightly before 630 this evening around the landfill in Calgary I for some reason in my mind started thinking about this television show I watched where someone had a head-on collision where someone was driving on the wrong side of the road and some people died and there was a court case about it. I'm just thinking with this TV show I don't know why was thinking about it but I was thinking about it and later on after driving past the landfill we came across a truck that was driving on the wrong side of the road and we slow down and stopped as the truck drove off the road to try to turn around hopefully nobody got hurt but what's amazing is that I was thinking about something about someone driving on the wrong side road and then someone was actually driving on the wrong side of the road just moments later and that was absolutely amazing so was that the law of attraction where my thoughts caused that or was that prophecy where I predicted that would happen it could be either I don't know

This blog post was written by talking to my phone so please excuse me if the writing seems strange or not well punctuated.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Came Home From a Movie

I just came home from "Man of Steel". I felt like I should write something about my thoughts from seeing that movie.

I found the movie to be more entertaining than Star Wars, probably because Star Wars has grown old, as well as the first three episodes of Star Wars seemed geared for very young minds, whereas Man of Steel is a bit more mature.

But, as my Dad commented, Man of Steel is 25x9/11. Maybe there appears to be entertainment value in all the bloodshed and extreme destruction - but if you know what the LAW OF ATTRACTION is, you would understand that focusing our mental faculties on such portrayals of extreme destruction probably isn't such a good idea. Especially when you understand just how horrific 9/11 was --- we definitely don't need 25x9/11.

I recently sent an e-mail to a reader of my book where I explain that the LDS standard of watching G-rated movies doesn't give a very good depiction of reality. Though that is true, watching superhuman aliens fight it out in a 25x9/11 manner probably isn't a very good depiction of reality either.

The importance of depicting reality was expressed because of The Number 23's comparability with my life - my life is not G-Rated so my movie wouldn't be either. And though the Number 23 isn't a perfect depiction of reality either, it was meant to be fictional, but at least it doesn't have fantasy scenes of extreme violence.

As for my thoughts about mormonism when watching the movie, well, I came to a realization that God is the greatest judge, and that I should let the Lord do the judging of the people. You could say that I felt inclined to be merciful to the population of dunderheaded LDS people I've encountered through my life, but I still have a realization that sometimes LDS people are just so, well, "not mentally enabled", that I still have my reservations about them.

And though I do understand the negative views people have of mormonism, I do not dismiss mormonism as a completely wrong hoax --- I think there is something special about mormonism, something that makes it somehow real or tangible, regardless of how much Joseph Smith was erroneous.

Which brings me to another point: people are imperfect, and this includes church leaders and even prophets. It is very clear that even highly respected prophets are very much capable of making very stupid mistakes or saying very stupid things. A good teaching is to learn wisdom. Another good teaching is to understand that church leaders and even high-ranked prophets have their frailties and sometimes don't act or say as they should. I could give examples, but I'll let you figure that out for yourself: I'll just say that it's very clear that some of these high-ranking church leaders are not logically sound in some of the things they say.

And though I have my suspicions about the logical soundness of [LDS] scriptural and LDS leaders' teachings, I still respect the LDS church as having some kind of magical reality about it.

As for my own personal magical reality, I am guessing that my miracles are on a tight leash held by God, and that much of the time I am a very normal person. This isn't to say that I have no magic, it's just that a lot of the time my magic isn't readily apparent. But it's still real.

I think I would be physically healthier if I wasn't on psychiatric medications. I also realize that my mental health has improved and I've been mentally closer or as capable or comparably closer to who I used to be. I don't know for certain, but I do not reject the idea that my drugs help me think better. So, though I'd have great physical health without drugs, it's possible that my mind works better because of the drugs, notwithstanding the actual nature of all the mental-health issues as described and contended about between me and my psychiatrists.

I'll just mention, politically, that I agree that the government should help poor people, the redistribution of wealth is important I think. But I also believe that those who work hard should be paid and rewarded for their efforts. I believe in free handouts from governments, but I think society is being very shameful when the hard work of individuals is not rewarded with payment. Basically, I think it's very sad that our modern culture revolves around "Free" rather than paying for goods and services. It's not wrong to spend money, you know? If you are so poor that you can't spend money, then maybe you need to work for money, and failing that then get some government handouts - but expecting people to give you services without payment doesn't match my view of moral integrity.

Which is another thing about the LDS church: The LDS church, when I was active within it,  commonly supported ideals of service, or working for free. Though there may be merits in service or working for free, when you are a very poor family like mine was, you have to understand that we are very much interested in being paid for our efforts, rather than paying a very rich church 10% of our meagre income, and then being put into service projects that waste our time and basically, it's kind of like slavery. Maybe rich people can afford to serve for free, but those of us who are poor shouldn't be expected to work without pay - getting poor people to work without pay is very close to slavery, and this is like how the church treated me - having to work for free on service projects and then not get paid and then give the church money instead of receiving payment for the effort.

So: pay people for their work, and if you can't afford things, then either do some work yourself, or failing that let the government give you money. But I have learned that expecting people to provide you goods and services for free isn't very moral behaviour. Either pay your own way or let the government pay for you --- but please, always try to reward a labourer for their efforts. I am very sad that our society flocks towards free pricing and can't stand to spend a dime.

And that's all I have to say, I guess.

Immediately after posting the above article, I looked at my writing on my website's front page and saw a google banner advertisement for an LDS related website that looked interesting to me: http://www.returntofaith.org. I kept google's rule and didn't click on the link, I just typed the URL into my browser, and found that the website advertises a book about one woman's departure and return from and to mormonism. I was interested. The book offered a FREE coupon or the option to buy on amazon. Keeping in line with my own ideas of morality as expressed in this article, I did actually decide to pay a SMALL fee to buy the book as a download. I recognize that FREE is enticing, but when a book costs $4 or less as an ebook, there's really very little excuse for not buying it.

Unlike the way I'd advertise my book to Mormons-only on facebook, and they'd click my ad causing me to spend money, and then completely neglect to actually buy my book, even though the price of my book was advertised in my facebook ad. I only felt better about this once I complained to LDS.org feedback, about how mormons will only take my stuff for free without leaving feedback instead of paying me and leaving reviews --- and I only felt better about it once one of the LDS.org feedback receivers actually paid for my ebook and left a review. I suppose you could say that I was doing some guilt-tripping or being manipulative ---- but in all seriousness, advertising, getting interested people, and then no one can afford it--- anyway, there are moral issues involved here.

And yay --- the lds.org feedback person DID like my book, said it's a wonderful story. Understands how blind LDS people can be sometimes too. Yay - very happy.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Pfhonge has now been published! Download at your convenience.

My game for the OUYA game console Pfhonge, has been approved and I published it just moments ago. Feel free to download it, and to buy it, but not for free!.

It looks like Pfhonge might be the 240th game on OUYA, released on July 15th 2013. I just barely missed getting it submitted as the 23xth game. Darn. :) At least I can say it was published 7 1+5 2+0+1+3, 7 6 6, or in a different order - "667"!! Yay. 2013, the 15th of July. Dates don't normally go that way though. Oh well.

Pfhonge is now out!

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Pfhonge was rejected - not permanently though.

Well, OUYA decided to reject my game from publication, for now.

The first problem they list is that I didn't capitalize the name OUYA everywhere throughout the game, and that's easily fixable.

But they also mention a few technical glitches that relate to the game mechanics and processing stuff. Unfortunately, I am not quite tech-savvy enough to fix those small issues. (in my opinion, they're small issues).

I mean, I might be able to fix some of these issues, but for the issue that the paddle control can be a bit choppy ---- well, I know about that issue, and I thought it was the Ouya controller causing that problem. I have no idea how to fix that issue though.

I guess I should have kept up my computer science studies in school. Hah.

yes, I suppose for such a basic game that the controller responsiveness should work better - but I'm not sure how to fix that, especially as I originally thought that this problem was the OUYA controller's fault, not mine.

Not tech savvy enough. :(

At least they said my game IS fun though. yay! :)


AMAZINGLY I actually figured out how to solve all the problems they wanted me to fix! YAY!! Now my game will likely go to market!!!

Monday, July 8, 2013

Pfhonge has bee submitted for review!!

OK - so I've submitted my free game called "Pfhonge" for review at Ouya!

I was going to charge $1.99 for the two-player mode, but after trying to figure out how to support in-app-purchases, I discovered I was not smart enough to implement them for a number of reasons.

So, now you get the whole package of my game "Pfhonge" for free!

Pfhonge is a ball-and-paddle game where you have to hit the ball past your opponent's paddle in order to hit the blocks, and once enough blocks are gone, you might get your ball into the end zone to win the game!

I thought I'd quickly write such a game seeing as how there's no such game on Ouya yet (as far as I am aware).

Friday, July 5, 2013

Hacker or Ghost??

Sometimes my computers do weird things. I mean, really weird things: things that don't make sense.

It's either a hacker or a ghost, and of course people who are rooted in the real world would know it's a hacker.

Today I was working on my computer game, and in order to fix a little something that I thought was a problem, a small ineffectual improvement, after I recompiled and started up again, the game crashed.

OK - let me just explain to you that before this, the game was working as it was supposed to. I changed one little thing that is insignificant to the running of the game and the whole thing crashed.

So, I fixed the code which somehow no longer worked, though it had been working before, only to find that my Artificial Intelligence had stopped working as well. With the AI, it was really obvious that there had been some kind of actual change made to the code. Before, the AI worked fine. After the crash, somehow the AI stopped working --- and I'm pretty sure my code was changed because I had to physically fix the AI before it would work again --- and between the AI working and not working, I had made no change to that AI code.

It pretty much seems like I've got a hacker, some malicious entity that changes the files on my computer and all that.

Actually, to tell the truth, it probably is a hacker, because why would God or some spirit want to use miraculous energies to play with my computers like this?

I thought macs were supposed to be secure - plus I have a firewall. Hmmm. So much for security.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

My Position on LDS Mormonism

So - what is my current position on LDS mormonism?

I just watched a couple of youtube videos, one from an ex-christian who decries christianity altogether, and one from an ex-mormon who decries mormonism but promotes christianity.

So - what is my take on mormonism, right now?

I can totally understand why a person would deny the LDS church. I have found many reasons myself to deny the church, and my belief in the organization did falter.

The church, seemingly however, led me on a path in life that gave me evidence of God and miracles. What can I say about that?

1. The LDS church is truly uplifted and uplifting based on a truth and/or reality about the organization
2. God loves me and he's babying my mind against the potentially hideous beast that is mormonism.

To me, there is enough evidence to suggest that the church is not completely fake --- but whether it is truly the church of God or if it's a creation of some nefarious being like Satan I haven't quite yet decided on, so you could say I'm ambivalent.

There does appear to be a reality to miracles and prophecy in the church to a certain extent, but from another angle, the church or church members and leaders teach some of the most unbelievable things - contradictions and hints of untruth abound.

So, it's possible that the church is true and that the members are extremely imperfect, or it's a devious and cunning deception created by satan designed to make us miserable --- and when you consider all the anti-depressant usage in utah, obviously it's not really making people happy, people tend to go into some form of chemical dependancy when they belong to the LDS church.

So, yeah, I'm ambivalent about mormonism, I see it has some good things about it, but I also find it questionable.

To tell the truth, I feel better about giving tonnes of money to my father or a couple good charities than I do about paying tithing --- somehow, my mind has begun to understand that tithing isn't the best investment.

Why not help the poor? Why spend so much money on an already-rich church that has so many big problems?

Besides, if I'm poor and in debt, why should I give my money to a church that's hugely rich, while I struggle to live and pay debts?

I'm not in love with mormonism, but I do respect and remember some of the seemingly wise and miraculous qualities about it. My practise in mentalism, in fact, could be said to be rooted in my previous LDS belief structure, you know?


As for my video game project, I'm making progress. I spend hours each day - on days where I have nothing else to do I spend several hours at a time sitting at the computer, writing code, debugging, and trying to solve problems.

So far, all problems in my work thus far have been solved, and tomorrow I plan on going into the next phase of building my project. (what I mean is, I've got working code that works as it's supposed to, all problems thus far are fixed, therefore I can move on to code more parts of the game, consequently having to fix the problems that emerge from my largely inexperienced creativity --- it's a process that consumes my days).

Monday, July 1, 2013

Happy Canada Day!

Oh yes! It's Canada Day! I'm hoping the flood didn't dim spirits for today --- I want to see fireworks at Canada Olympic Park tonight, just like they usually do every year! (I live in a valley next to Canada Olympic Park)

My game project is moving along. I bought a book to help me learn some of the things I otherwise wouldn't know about android programming, and, so far, studying it has been immensely helpful. I am certainly making progress towards writing the game I dreamed of, or conceptualized in my mind.

So - if I had to compare myself to one of the computer game designers in my book "The Eagle's Sore", which one would I compare to? To tell the truth, the game designers in my novella are all far more competent and creative at this sort of thing than myself. But, if I really had to compare, and I couldn't say "they are all greater than I", then I would say I'm like Salahal Tart. He's the guy who was doing the greatest extent of programming. Of course, his programming was revolutionary for the Eagle, and my programming for Android/Ouya is very basic, but that's the best comparison I can make.

So, after a long day of studying and tinkering with code and trying to learn, I decided I would take my Canada Day to a local Chinese/Thai restaurant where I had a plate of Korean Beef, on a steaming hot plate.

I like to eat at that restaurant. So far, I've only tried the specifically spicy or hot dishes, and they seem good enough. It's definitely not like other Chinese restaurants, or the Vietnamese restaurant we have, but it is still satisfying.

So: I want Canada Day fireworks tonight, I'm making progress in my video game project, and I enjoy eating at a local restaurant.