Sunday, June 30, 2013

Low Stress Tolerance

When I had something that resembled a real job late last year, I was excited to do it and I was willing. But the work just piled up and I didn't have much time to relax and relaxation wasn't very relaxing because of the anticipation of the next day of work. So - the work piled up, and I got stressed out about the things I would have to be doing, so I quit the job.

Though my belief in telepathy definitely wasn't delusional and the psychiatrist was wrong about that --- the truth is that I do have some kind of deficiency, probably in my brain, that caused me to think very poorly for a long time, and even to this day the symptom still exists in the form of not being able to handle much stress.

Therefore --- it might be a while before my Ouya game is completed, if it is ever completed.

I am having fun sitting down at my computer and Ouya and playing with the code, but I happened to drop out of my computer science degree program at university ten or eleven years ago, and my knowledge on this subject is limited to things I learned in high school and self-taught myself before I went crazy.

So, as I am not completely competent at just looking at examples and trying to steal ideas, I'm going to spend some time teaching myself more --- probably from books that I intend on buying.

But, I can see that my mind is already rather stressed out at the prospects of having to read through a huge book, and then design a program. The stress may slow down progress quite a bit, and progress may halt if it turns out that I'm still not smart enough.

I used to be so smart, top of the class. Then I went crazy - and I lost much of my thinking ability. The psychiatrists do have grounds for legitimacy.

But the telepathy does happen to be scientifically provably real, so the psychiatrists shouldn't bother me about that, and thankfully, they don't anymore.

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