Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Remembering Sk8ers

In my book I briefly mention the "skater" group I was a part of in my grade 10 foods class. I remember their names, except for one.

The one I forgot, and still can't remember, was the female of our group. My most vivid memory of her was something really embarrassing and stupid that I did.

To explain how embarrassing and stupid it was, I'll just mention that back in those days of schooling --- I would often feel soooo HORNY at school, that I would come home directly and masturbate as quickly as possible - to satiate my sexual desire. I didn't have sex with her, but I'll just say that I was experiencing some real issues with super-horny-feelings.

 

It doesn't make any sense for me to mention this except for how it came to mind and I thought I'd just mention it, even to shame myself, even if I'm not being direct about what it was (it wasn't really THAT bad, but it was something really quite embarrassing).

 

Anyway, maybe I can again just mention that it's hard to grow up in a church where every little imperfection is criticized and condemned. I mean, the way I remember church was teachings about how one is supposed to be perfect --- but it appears in our latest general conference one of the apostles clarified Jesus commandment to "Be perfect". The Book of Mormon itself likely isn't a perfect book, so how can one expect all mormons to be absolutely perfect? It's not possible.

 

If people understood what it was like for me to be as horny as I was, and how I couldn't stop or control those feelings without masturbating - they would understand that it is really not nice or right to condemn such a comparatively harmless behaviour so much. Take a walk in my shoes, so to speak.

 

I mean, maybe there's some chance that there are mormon men who aren't burdened by an over-sensitive-state-of-sexual-health, and it'd be amazing it we could all be that way. Just understand that some of us are very much not capable of being perfectly sexually pure. I remember the kinds of EXTREMELY horny feelings I would have - and telling me that I should never masturbate really didn't help. At all.

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