Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Anticipating Payment

Considering the number of unique visitors who come to my website in the past few months, I would expect that I probably sold quite a number of books.

For a long time I would be suspicious of the AuthorHouse self-publishing company because I didn't feel I was being paid what I was owed. It turns out that suspicion was probably just my own stupidity, what I really likely needed was US tax numbers.

SO: Now I have my US Tax numbers, and now I'm just waiting for the next sales report.


SO ---- I may have unfairly judged AuthorHouse, I may have been stupid. We'll find out. How likely is it that the hundreds of people who visit this website never actually read my book?


With over a thousand facebook fans and hundreds of monthly unique visitors, I would hope that my sales report would bear substantial fruit. I mean, with the way I see my free ebook selling, I would hope people aren't complete niggards and that some of you actually decided to pay.


If you did decide to pay -- then good for you. If you did decide to pay -- why would I give my book for free? Because I was seeing little evidence of anyone being seriously interested.


The fun part is that some nice reader on Barnes & Noble decided to actually buy the sequel ebook too. That makes me happy, that someone would actually pay me.


Letters to Whomever raises some valid concerns about mormonism IMO, but it is largely a book of my whining and complaining. I'm only saying this because in the previous sentence, I was referencing LTW. :)


And, I have to be thankful for the sales i had which were reported to me --- it's very nice to know that some people really did take the time to buy my book right after release. :)


Anyway --- thank you everyone for taking interest, the problems I wrote about seem very distant from my life's reality now, though I still think about some things sometimes. I forgot a lot though --- after writing the books and editing, the memories started to disappear. Life is good.

Monday, April 29, 2013

It seems racist...

OK - you might be shocked at what I'm about to tell you, but believe me, I have good and practical reasons for it.


I am trying to kick all of the east indians off of my facebook page.


This does seem really racist --- but you have to understand that I wasn't racist to start advertising to east indians in the first place.


SO: why am I doing this? You see, the east indians click the "like" button in DROVES --- they liked my page as if there was no tomorrow and whenever I post anything, they all seem to immediately "like" it.
HOWEVER:: their "like" of my words is just brown-nosing without any actual evidence to back it up ----- I'll get hundreds of them clicking "like" on a single post, yet very few to none of those individuals will actually download the free ebook I offered.


Not only do they just click "like" without thinking, and they don't actually read my book, they also don't bother to even visit my website much or at all.  They are the most populous nation on my facebook page - but they never visit this site, so it's very sad. It's like they are just insane "like" clickers who don't really, truly care, and that insults me.


ONE MORE PROBLEM::: Even though I tell facebook to display my post in only certain countries, excluding India, somehow I think all my posts get shown in India ANYWAYS --- just because of all the "likes" indians give me without actually caring about what I actually said.


It's very sad --- and I'm getting so sick of it that I'm just trying to seriously reduce the number of Indians on my facebook page.


It does seem SOOOO racist ----- but it's what I have to resort to after they don't really care and they just brown-nose. And posts that aren't supposed to go to india appear to be showing up ONLY in india anyways. Sucks eh?



Oh my goodness, or lack thereof. What have I done? Am I turning into a [facebook] madman of genocide? It's not really genocide, but it's comparable.
Perhaps I should stop myself from culling the flock now. I got rid of about 100 people from my facebook site --- and it may have been an OK or a good move, but it's also possible that the Indians are the only people actually buying my book.


I mean, they may be "liking" me in droves without having a full complement of downloads to match the "likes", but I actually have no idea what country my actual downloaders are from. I'm sure I have some americans, and some Indians, but if most of my downloaders are Indians then I have been very stupid.


At least I, thus far, have neglected to kick out all of the indians.  It's like I was just a madman who culled the fanclub just because of some kind of annoyance with Brown-Nosers and not-enough-downloads to back it up. Hmmmm.


Update #2::::


I just thought through a line of logic. Either the Indians who brown-nose (like so much it's unrealistic) me really did download my free ebook, or they didn't.  If they didn't download my free ebook, then they really are just brown-nosers who don't actually care, kind of like how God said to Joseph Smith "They draw near to me with their mouths but their hearts are far from me".
BUT --- What if those Indians WERE the principle downloaders of my book??? There is also an insult in there too::: I would expect that East Indians would be a poorer type people, so they can't really afford to buy a book --- and that's OK --- but the thing is IF they can afford to have KINDLES --- why couldn't they spend the $1.99 on an ebook?  If they really liked me so much, why didn't they just buy it?


I mean, seriously, they're either brown-nosers who like me so much they can't even be bothered to download, or they are brown nosers who like me so much that they can't afford to buy a $1.99 book even though they all own KINDLES.


It basically looks like most of my fanclub is actually just not that smart, regardless of race --- but the Indians were particularly bad just in the way they were brown-nosing me, as a feature of their "race's profile".


I mean, my whole fanclub sucks because most of them didn't care even if it was free --- the but Indians were horrible because they pretended to care but wouldn't bother to download anyway, or wouldn't bother to actually pay a small fee to buy a book they like so much that they wouldn't even buy it even though they all own kindles.


Wow. Huh. Yes - it's very sad, and says something bad about the human race.  Anyway, it's nice to have fans --- but if they don't care to actually read my book, then I'm not sure what they think they're doing.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Latest Telepathy with Avril Lavigne

OK --- In my home experiments with my mother and father in mind reading, I am doing really poorly. However, last night I connected with "Avril Lavigne", and had some clear discussion with "her".

Now, I put her name in quotes because she responded to me like she was Avril Lavigne, but I will open up the possibility that it might not have actually been her --- I've always wondered if it's actually an angel who is pretending, but it might have really been her -- maybe we'll find out.


SO--- How did our discussion go? I'm not sure I want to talk about all of it, and I probably don't remember all of it -- but I'll mention a few points::


Me: "Avril, you are SOOOO fat."

Avril: "I'm not fat!"

Me: "I meant 'pretty hot and tempting'" (meant as a joke)


Me: "Wanna hear about the latest video games I've been playing?"

Avril: "Don't you dare!!!"

I then proceed to talk to tell her the names of the games and what they're about -- I will not reveal this information here just in case she really did receive the transmission and would like to somehow message about the kind of game I was telling her about.


Me: "What is your bra size?"

Avril: "I'm not telling you!" (something like that)

Me: "Does Chad Kroeger know your bra size?"

I can't actually remember her response to this question.


SO::: If Avril Lavigne was hearing thoughts about these subjects last night, maybe she could verify, as well as try to remember what kind of video games I was playing. :) :)

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Endorsing the Competition

So - on the Amazon.com free book best-seller list it looks like I've had some competition. I haven't looked at all of it - but one book on the list looked so interesting that I downloaded it for myself.

It is called: "Hard Questions: Prophetic Answers" by Daniel K Judd.


I haven't read the whole book, but I decided to read through Chapter 2: "Is Depression a Sin or a Sickness?"


I am REALLY QUITE IMPRESSED with the response and teaching this author has put together on this topic. I mean - I would totally recommend that anyone else should read this book too --- it is really quite good, and I only read that one chapter.

There is another chapter called "Can Ye Be Angry, and Not Sin?" ---- an interesting question to ask, and something I'd like to see the prophetic answers about.


How would I personally answer that question? Without having read the book yet, in a nutshell, I would say certain kinds of anger ARE truly sinful, but I would also look back on my life and realize moments in my childhood where my parents were angry at me --- and realizing that's not necessarily sinful. I mean, I realize it's possible my parents were wrong to be angry at me, I don't really know, but I would actually accept that some anger can be considered legitimate. But some anger is also truly sinful.  I mean, GOD can be angry, but that doesn't make GOD a sinner. Parents can be angry at their children, but this could me more of a disciplinary anger -- as long as it's not abusive. Of course, that's just what I think from the way I was brought up, so I might be wrong.

It is true that certain or even most anger is a sin, but I'm going to guess that not all anger is sinful.



There was another book which I've read partway through called "Letter to a Doubter" from the Interpreter Journal of Mormon Scripture by Terry L GIvens. This book also seems good, and I don't remember everything it said, but one thing that stands out in my mind about it is that it actually verified one of the ideas or concerns I have plainly displayed on this website.




So - the church is imperfect, I'm imperfect, there is some completely crappy stuff about mormonism:::: But then there are some absolutely wonderful gems about mormonism.

And I think it's interesting and great that Elder Richard K Melchin and I would be so friendly with each other after all the crap that was flung, I am actually feeling a lot friendlier towards him and the church now. The only negative thing I realize at this moment is I have a bit of an idea that the church really is imperfect and I have a bit of a paranoia about being headed into a trap --- but other than a paranoia about traps that exists only in my mind (which probably isn't actual telepathy in this case, my telepathy power doesn't always work very well) I do feel like I'm in a state of reconciliation with Richard Melchin. He and I are both imperfect, and we seem to be friends or friendly again.




I mean, the church isn't true when there are false teachers running around brainwashing your children with BS - but the church is true in that there are prophets who let us know that these false teachers exist.

Perfection seems like such a goal that our imperfections can seem daunting - but we are all imperfect -- and if I were to continue this quote I'd suddenly be stealing something I learned from the "Hard Questions: Prophetic Answers" book Chapter 2. So, Just go have a look yourself --- it was really awesome to read!!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Looks Like We're All Friends Again

This evening ex-Elder Richard K Melchin and his companion appeared at our front door - and I was the one who answered


That actually went really quite well. I am again feeling inclined to go back to church, I mean, I felt no bad feelings, we had a friendly conversation, and nobody got hurt.


The church is once again looking pretty good. Now I just have to get off my lazy ass and go. And hopefully my father will go with me, as they thusly invited.


Church could be a good thing again --- and it's amazing that we have been able to have such a reconciliation. Wow.

Remembering Sk8ers

In my book I briefly mention the "skater" group I was a part of in my grade 10 foods class. I remember their names, except for one.

The one I forgot, and still can't remember, was the female of our group. My most vivid memory of her was something really embarrassing and stupid that I did.

To explain how embarrassing and stupid it was, I'll just mention that back in those days of schooling --- I would often feel soooo HORNY at school, that I would come home directly and masturbate as quickly as possible - to satiate my sexual desire. I didn't have sex with her, but I'll just say that I was experiencing some real issues with super-horny-feelings.


It doesn't make any sense for me to mention this except for how it came to mind and I thought I'd just mention it, even to shame myself, even if I'm not being direct about what it was (it wasn't really THAT bad, but it was something really quite embarrassing).


Anyway, maybe I can again just mention that it's hard to grow up in a church where every little imperfection is criticized and condemned. I mean, the way I remember church was teachings about how one is supposed to be perfect --- but it appears in our latest general conference one of the apostles clarified Jesus commandment to "Be perfect". The Book of Mormon itself likely isn't a perfect book, so how can one expect all mormons to be absolutely perfect? It's not possible.


If people understood what it was like for me to be as horny as I was, and how I couldn't stop or control those feelings without masturbating - they would understand that it is really not nice or right to condemn such a comparatively harmless behaviour so much. Take a walk in my shoes, so to speak.


I mean, maybe there's some chance that there are mormon men who aren't burdened by an over-sensitive-state-of-sexual-health, and it'd be amazing it we could all be that way. Just understand that some of us are very much not capable of being perfectly sexually pure. I remember the kinds of EXTREMELY horny feelings I would have - and telling me that I should never masturbate really didn't help. At all.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Rank Update and Video

So, though I was easily able to reach #5 on the amazon.com ranking system when I first started, I am finding that though I am selling more and more books, the other books somehow just became extremely popular as well and now I'm competing with some article about Mormon Theocracy. I mean - it's amazing - I easily and handily beat the Mormon Theocracy book in the rankings at first, but all of the sudden it's become so popular that though I am selling more books I have actually gone down in rank. I mean - wow. That article about The Mormon Theocracy is just so popular that it can beat me and keep me down despite all the books I've sold. That is so amazing.


I would just like to share this nice little youtube video put out by President Henry B Eyring. So much fun.


Thursday, April 18, 2013

The Book of Finch Sales Rank

So - The Book of Finch is now FREE in a couple amazon stores, like amazon.com and amazon.ca. How well am I ranking?


I am happy to announce, that on Amazon.ca - The Book of Finch is ranked #1 in Mormonism!!! I have handily beaten President Uchtdorf in the Canadian Market. :)


On the amazon.com market, I've seen myself ranked between #5-#7 in Mormonism. Last I checked I was #6. So much fun.

The Book of Finch at Amazon.ca - http://amzn.to/Z96sWT

The Book of Finch at Amazon.com - http://amzn.to/VWiVX8

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Those Little Hidden Messages

It's so weird - I almost wonder if I shouldn't mention this, but not only has general conference made some subtle references to my writing, but I see other things that remind me of myself too. Weirdly enough.

I just finished watching Ray William Johnson's new Equals Three upload: CHEATING EX. I am seriously reminded of myself.

Video 1: READ MY BOOK --- it's similar to something I once did.

Video 2: Reminds me of Jim Carrey.

Video 3: Sadly enough, this also reminds me of myself.


I recently got a Kindle Direct Publishing newsletter that spotlighted three books from other authors. The Books are titled "Aftermath", "Metamorphosis" and "Wide Awake".  Read my writings - it's almost completely obvious how much just the book titles relate to me. Wow.


Actually, I'm not entirely surprised that Amazon suddenly seemed to take interest in secret-messaging about my writings in a newsletter: recently that guy who gave me 1/5 stars responded to TheRegalBeagle's response comment and I got an e-mail telling me what he said. Well, to put it simply, Amazon deleted the reviewer's response. Not only was it personally insulting to myself as if the writer thought he knew me personally, but it also just looked like complete idiocy. I'm not sure I should repeat some of the idiotic things he said, but it just seems that the reviewer had nothing nice or logical to say --- personally attacking me, the author as if he thought he knew me, and then claiming TheRegalBeagle's response had nothing to do with his original review - which was obviously complete BS. And amazon deleted his comment within a day after it was posted, so yeah, Amazon just knows about me now.


Oh --- and The Book of Finch is now free to download on a few Amazon websites. Yay. I find I only get my sales reported to me when the book is free. Isn't that weird?


Have a good day everyone.

We just heard a voice

I was sitting down in the living room when I heard a strange sound.

I was asking my dad "Dad - did you hear that?"

He had heard it, and it appeared to be coming from somewhere in the living room. We both heard it - we both know what it sounded like -- it was like a voice, a voice that was giggling. A short little giggle. It made no sense whatsoever.


At least we both heard it - or else it might've been considered a mental illness hallucination.


I mean, we actually have no idea what the sound was - but it sounded like it was IN our living room.
So --- my father and I both heard an unidentified giggly voice that just came out of nowhere -- the TV wasn't turned on and it's extremely unlikely that it was our computers. Huh.

New Article

I just posted a new article on this website about why I think I won't ever get married. Go have a look.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Friendly LDS HAM Radio Activity

If there's anything that keeps the inactive male part of my family connected to the LDS church socialization, it's HAM Radio, which was brought to us through the LDS church while at least one of us was still active.

Today me and two family members took off to a park in South Calgary where was held a friendly LDS Ham Radio activity. I don't personally do HAM, but my two family members do, and I just decided to tag along.

There were a couple people at the activity who had my book and read it, and I have to say --- I actually enjoyed the socialization (though I am introverted) and I didn't feel like anyone had any great stigma against me. It was just a friendly LDS Ham Radio activity.

I'm finding, that for the most part, there are more friendlies in the LDS church than enemies. The enemies seem pretty nasty and it's not nice, and though it's easier to think of the negative, I realize that I've probably had more positive socialization with LDS members than negative.

I still don't know that I'll go back to church - but I am feeling more comfortable with it.


In this activity, I talked to one of the LDS men who has my book about self published authors who get picked up by traditional publishers. I mentioned Joanna Books, the 'Mormon Girl' and he responded that she actually did some articles on FAIR LDS. He told me FAIR LDS sends out e-mails every day or something and sometimes Joanna Brooks appears in these e-mails. He also told me that I, me, have never appeared in anything from FAIR LDS.

It's understandable that FAIR LDS would not think of me as a big newsmaker - they may see me as a detractor from the LDS church, and some of the things I talk about don't really help what they're trying to do.


And though FAIR LDS doesn't put me in the spotlight and me and that organization don't have the greatest relationship, I'll just note that though FAIR LDS doesn't propagate me --- the LDS apostles themselves recently seem to keep referencing parts of my writings in their talks, in general conference and CES Devotionals. Now ---- it's not utterly blatant that they are saying anything to do with me --- but it's true, in very, very subtle ways they clearly seem to be referencing my writings - as I've noticed.


And I am thankful for all you people who visit my website every so often --- it helps me feel loved, or relevant or even that someone is listening. Unfortunately, most visitors to this website stay for 30 seconds or less, so it's clear not too much is being read. If you are able to quickly read my latest posts in less than 30 seconds, then I guess I'll have to live with that --- but for myself, reading things is not a fast process. If there's anything I was ever consistently slow with throughout school - it was reading.

I didn't read fast in all my schooling - but when I did read I read for comprehension, for understanding. I remember I had a friend in school who was very good at speed-reading through the subject matter, but unfortunately, as we were discussing the reading material it was very clear he had just skimmed the pages rather than reading for comprehension - he was mentioning things about the story that weren't correct - that were all mixed up and not really what the story said.


So though I am a slow reader, when I do read something I read to try to understand it --- and I just have a memory of a fast reader in my school class who "read" the book very quickly but didn't retain or have a complete or even competent understanding of the story.
Anyway - thanks for visiting my site, it makes me feel somehow better knowing that people don't totally ignore me.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

The Lyric Video and More Book!!

I just saw the Lyric video of Avril Lavigne's "Here's to Never Growing Up". Either they didn't include my submission, or they skipped over it so quickly that it's barely noticeable or not noticeable.

There's a good reason for that too::: my video submission had to be the lamest video of anyone lipsyncing the words I was given, and I didn't even include a picture.

To be absolutely honest::: when I was young, that kind of enthusiasm that I expressed in my submission is about what you would expect from me - when I was young. I think I've gotten younger as I've gotten older, and as a young person I was actually very mature - so yeah, my submission was the lamest submission that they didn't really show in the video and essentially - when I was young, the quality and enthusiasm I had at that age is actually represented in my submission. I was just not a very energized child. I was generally, more or less, a "get to work and be serious" kind of guy - but that's just me, and that's what makes me so lame.

As I've grown up, I've completely lost all sense of responsibility - and it's clear that I am now enjoying my childhood as an adult - that is pretty much the way it is.


As for my book, I might not update the softcover to the latest edition until Avril returns an important document to me--- but I think we can expect some format changes in the Fourth Edition.

What I mean is, I recently just sat down and started reading my second edition hardcover and I realized that Second Edition is a far prettier book than my 'do-it-myself' third edition --- AuthorHouse did a good job on formatting the second edition and it's just very very pretty.

So, Fourth Edition of The Book of Finch will probably see a return to the GEORGIA font, away from Times New Roman. Georgia looks like it's much nicer to read than Times New Roman. And Authorhouse's cover for the second edition is also way nicer than my own cover for Third Edition, so we'll have to think about that.

Basically  - Third Edition was my experiment in doing it myself, and I have to say that I really screwed up in so many ways. :) But I'm learning, and hopefully by the time Avril returns that document, Fourth Edition will be absolutely awesome, although I have no ideas for a new cover and may continue to use what I already have with the only difference being "Fourth Edition" printed on the front, or I'll stop counting and just use the year number to indicate the edition - we'll see.


NOT THAT ANYONE CARES - It's like I can only distribute my book if it's for free anyways so it's not like anyone is actually gonna help me pay my debts by actually buying my book - but anyway.


to tell the truth --- if all my facebook fans actually bought and paid for a copy of each of my books, I'd either have my debt paid or seriously reduced - but no, so far it seems like almost anyone who reads my book takes it for free and my "likers" on facebook "like" it for no real reason. They just click "like" without knowing or reading or buying the story. Sucks.


So, I screwed up royally on my formatting of Third Edition, but I am learning, and hopefully if there is a Fourth Edition it'll be beautiful like Second Edition was.


As for my book "The Eagle's Sore" softcover: yet another screw up story, too many problems in the text and now that I've finalized the latest edition, I am again thinking I would prefer Georgia font anyways. Ugh. Darn. Hmmm.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Avril Lavigne's "Here's to Never Growing Up"

I just downloaded Avril Lavigne's latest single (released today) on my ipad and listened through it twice.

It's really quite enjoyable. And, for reasons I don't feel like disclosing on my website, I could say that I actually feel rather honoured by this song - if you know my story and know this song, then maybe a couple things should be noted about how it seems to relate to myself.


Avril did a really great job on this track. Yay. So much fun.



Sunday, April 7, 2013

Sunday Afternoon Session of 183rd General Conference 2013

I have not yet watched the Priesthood Session of Conference on Sunday Evening, but I plan to do so, to hear the messages as well to see if there were any answers to my five questions.

I found this General Conference to be a good experience, it was a good listen. I enjoyed it. It was good. There was one speaker in the final session whose talk didn't really ring true in my mind, but I think he was good intentioned and meant no harm, but basically as I heard his message I thought there was something a little wrong with it, it didn't seem quite right to me. Perhaps I shouldn't be so critical, but I will be truthful that at the time I heard it, I thought he meant well, but it didn't ring true.


So, now I'll just review my five questions and the answers they received:

#1: Since church members are retarded, why should anyone have to be baptized?
Answer: To find true and lasting personal peace, the atonement will heal and forgive.

#2: Is it true that mormons really are truly retarded?

Answer: Mormons never knowingly or wilfully build their houses on the sands of foolishness.

#3: Why should a very poor man with lots of debt have to pay tithing to a very wealthy church?

Answer: To be obedient, and to receive blessings. Not fully answered, but answered nonetheless.

#4: Who was the pre-mortal God Jehovah's wife, and what happened to her when Jesus was born? Does the Holy Ghost have a wife?

Answer: Not really answered, but if I have understood, the spirit God does not have a spouse - thus opening the question of how do you really need a spouse to be God?? I think one of the speakers mentioned how the Melchizedek priesthood is a requirement of exaltation, which might mean Joseph Smith had some original error. I take this as the answer because the husband-wife-relationship only seems to begin in mortality for the creation of children, and as such a pre-mortal God would not be married. It might be that priesthood power is more essential to Godhood than marriage, but in the end, this question is still a grey area that was not entirely answered.

#5: Romans 7:3 says a widow can remarry without committing adultery. Considering how marrying a divorced woman is adultery, how is it that marrying a widow would not be adultery considering how the widow was already eternally sealed to a spouse who is only dead?

Answer: Not really answered, but I would understand that this is one of those scriptures that was falsely translated. Of course, that's not necessarily the answer either, but in this Conference, they talked about complete fidelity in marriage which would indicate that widows should not remarry, but they also said that all choices in a couple should be agreed upon unanimously between the couple, so if the husband is OK with the wife remarrying after he's dead, then perhaps she would be allowed to.


So, three questions answered, two questions barely touched on and not really answered very much. Perhaps the apostles just didn't have enough time to deal with all the issues they were meant to deal with.


All in all, this was a good conference, and I enjoyed it. I'll try to watch Priesthood Session later.

Sunday Morning Session of 183rd General Conference 2013

So - though I still don't think the question was tackled perfectly by church leaders, I'll say Question #3 has been answered.


The question is: "Why should a very poor man with lots of debt have to pay tithing to a very wealthy church?"

Though I don't think the leaders directly answered the question in its entirety, they did, however, more or less answer the question.


Yesterday one of the apostles answered, and today President Thomas S Monson answered, that we pay tithing in order to gain blessings, and in order to be obedient, using the example of a very poor man who paid anyway.


I would just like to add a comment about the one quote from the scriptures that says it is better to OBEY than to SACRIFICE. It IS better to Obey than to Sacrifice. Here's my example:

Just days before General Conference in the past week, I made a bad decision. I don't normally make bad decisions like this, but if I had obeyed the gospel I would not have made the mistake. Anyway, my conscience was racked with guilt after I had sinned, and I decided that I would "atone" for my own sin by, more or less, sacrificing 5 times the amount that I had sinned with.


It is, indeed, better to obey than to sacrifice. If I had obeyed, there never would have been a problem, but as I had sinned and I wanted to clean my slate, I, more or less, gave a costly sacrifice of my substance to put me back in God's good graces. And yes, after I made the sacrifice my guilt left and I felt forgiven, but none of that costly sacrifice would have been necessary if I had just obeyed in the first place.


OK, so, 3 questions have been answered, one of them only partially answered but yet answered anyway, a fourth question is sort-of-kind-of-answered if I understood properly, and one remaining question hasn't really been touched. OK, it's possible it was touched, but I'm not getting the explanation necessary to actually answer the question.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Saturday Afternoon Session of 183rd General Conference 2013

OK, so there are a few things to cover in this post:

1) Elder Richard K Melchin has been released from his position as an Area Seventy. He was recently called to be my family's home teacher. Anyway, I'm not sure how this will affect anything, but it is noteworthy to say he has been released.

2) Elder Quentin L Cook of the Twelve Apostles gave an EXCELLENT talk about Peace, world peace, personal peace, or the lack thereof. He even mentioned Matthew 10:34 --- a scripture commonly not referred to in LDS teachings, yet important to the story of my book. I would just like to say that I will accept Elder Cook's talk as an answer to QUESTION #1 of my five questions for general conference.

My question was, and it can be re-worded in various ways: "Since mormons are so retarded, why should anyone have to be baptized?" or in other words "Since the LDS church rejected Avril Lavigne from missionary work, why should SHE have to be baptized in order to attain salvation?"

I accept Elder Cook's talk as a response to this question because he taught that regardless of mankind's abuse of agency (retarded mormons), the atonement is an equalizing force that makes everything fair in the end, and really, the reason anyone should be baptized is because the Gospel or Jesus Christ provide TRUE PERSONAL PEACE.

So: why should anyone have to be baptized seeing as how church members/leaders are very capable of being very retarded? Because the gospel is the true path to finding God's peace, personal peace, regardless of individual abuse of agency.


Two questions down, three to go.


3) Elder David A Bednar of the 12 Apostles also gave an excellent talk, and it may have indirectly answered question #4, but that's not the question he was trying to answer, and it's not the response I was trying to find. His talk may have not been the response, but it might have been a response. I might have to look at his talk in a deeper way to see if it really was a response.

My question WAS NOT and NOTHING TO DO WITH "Why is chastity so important?", the question he said he was answering.


4) Elder Russel M Nelson gave a talk which briefly touched on Question #3, but his response was so short and inadequate to my mind that I would call it a "cop-out" if it is the only response the church provides this General Conference.


But yes, I really enjoyed Elder Cook's and Elder Bednar's talks this session. Yay.

Saturday Morning Session of 183rd General Conference 2013

I have two comments to make:


Before General Conference began, for at least a week before it began, or maybe about a week, I had asked God FIVE questions to be answered in General Conference this spring.

I think it's OK to say that QUESTION #2 HAS BEEN ANSWERED in Saturday Morning's session.

Question #2 is: Is it true that Mormon really are truly retarded?

Answer: One of the speakers, whose identity I cannot remember, gave a talk about an earthquake in San Francisco, and his response to my question was that NO MEMBER OF THE CHURCH WILL KNOWINGLY WANT TO BUILD THEIR HOUSE UPON THE SAND OF FOOLISHNESS.

That is essentially like an answer to the question. OK, cool.


Comment #2 about this session:

Boyd K Packer recited his poem, and then went on to talk about the commotion among the FINCHes in the English Ivy on his home. Yes - his talk of Finches being killed feels like a reminder of one of the stories and themes in The Book of Finch, as well as it may be a threat or a warning towards myself (or at least, I would take it that way). Perhaps I could say more, but I will not.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Asynchronous Counting

I think there's something wrong with the counting methods used on various websites.


Ever since, I put up The Book of Finch for free on smashwords.com, I used a bitly link to share the free download with my fans.


Facebook reports 23 link clicks.

Bitly reports 11 link clicks.

Smashwords reports ~53 page visits

And the Facebook 'like' button for the page reports 212 likes.


These numbers don't make any sense. There is absolutely something wrong with the counting systems used by these websites.


My dreams of being a famous author have come true if all 212 "likes" actually downloaded and read the book, but for some reason smashwords reports only FOUR ebook downloads, only THREE of them are new.


It's either a situation where I've got hundreds of eager 'like' clickers who don't actually care about what they explicitly declare they 'like', or we have some kind of problems with publishers who don't report A LOT of the possibly downloaded and bought material.


If my 1600 fans on facebook had actually purchased the Second Editoin softcover of my book, I'd be well on my way to paying off the huge credit card debt I accumulated to publish the books. But somehow - either they don't care to actually read what they say they like, or my sales aren't reported. It's kind of driving me nutty - I went into huge debt to pay for the publication of this book, and with the number of fans I have I SHOULD be able to earn all that money back, but somehow, that's not happening.


Maybe I just need my ITIN, but it's hard to know for certain. Is it possible that the self-publishing industry is actually just a big, dare I say, scam???

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The Book of Finch eBook is now FREE

The Book of Finch is now available as a FREE ebook from Smashwords.com! This is the most updated best version yet! I apologize if you spent money on a less than decent version, but if it makes you feel any better, I spent too much money too, and now you can have the latest version for FREE!!!


For FREE for a LIMITED time!

My book, "The Eagle's Sore: A Novella", is now available for free for a limited time, ONLY on Kindle.

So, don't wait till this monday, it has to be Sunday the 7th or sooner, and you can download a free copy of my attempt at writing fiction. http://amzn.to/14z69ED

Monday, April 1, 2013


I wish this were an april fools, and considering how I normally feel about my life it would be.


But in all seriousness, I am crazy. My telepathy is not really good enough to prove anything anymore, and really - it's quite logical to understand that my mental abilities aren't what they used to be (referring to any form of actual intellect).


I've been learning about iOS programming on iTunes U - but I'm not learning as good as I used to when I was younger, and though I am learning, I think it's clear that I do suffer from mental deficiency.


It is such a disappointment I turned out to be this crazy.


There are other aspects of my insanity which would be considered to be HUGELY disappointing.


I just want to say, I blame my insanity on my childhood, on growing up. At home my siblings would say cruel things to each other, and I think that some of these things contribute to my adult insanity. It was basically a home of name-calling, and it had a really bad effect on my grown-up mind.


There's also the two years I spent at FFCA. A number of my classmates in that school were completely insane and if I were a parent, I would have pulled myself from that learning institution. It was completely wrong the way the kids behaved. I mean, they were "friendly", but they made light of very serious issues and I don't think that was any help for my developing mind.


And then there's my grandma. Either she sexually molested me, or there was some spiritual aspect about her death that took away my virginity somehow. That REALLY helped drive me insane. I'm a mormon, and mormons aren't supposed to masturbate, and I took that seriously - but my grandmother just took that away from me.

I swear, I am telling you the complete truth when I say that my very first masturbation happened right after she died and before her funeral, and I really do believe she could have been molesting me somehow.


Anyway, siblings, schoolmates and grandmother all had a hand to play in driving me insane as an adult.


And yes - I admit that I am in all likelihood actually insane. the LDS church tried to be a force of reality in my life, but in reality they are also not really that helpful either.


And though Jesus Christ is the saviour, the only name under heaven whereby man can be saved --- if you actually MEET Him then you are DEFINITELY insane, even though he's supposed to save you from the madness. Or maybe the madness is saving. I don't know, it doesn't make any sense anymore.


But yes - I am insane, unfortunately, and yes I do feel like pointing fingers at all these certain aspects of how I grew up and say that helped drive me insane, like my siblings, my schoolmates, and my grandmother. And church wasn't much help either.