Sunday, March 31, 2013

It's So Hard to be Perfect

Happy Easter everyone.

When I was young, starting life, being baptized and being taught, I figured it would be a good idea to try to live perfectly. To do one's best. This IS a good idea, but I have learned that it is incredibly hard to maintain perfection, or to even know what the perfect thing to do is.
Examples:

1) Several weeks ago I mentioned Dave Perez on my website. From what I understood of what he was saying, he didn't like me criticizing my leaders and I got very angry in return at him. Though it is true that the anger was building up in my heart leading up to that time, if I had been perfect, perhaps I would not have reacted so angrily. Some would say that I should have let go of my anger long before that moment, and basically I'm just a little sad that Dave Perez and I couldn't be too friendly with each other anymore. In a sense, we were both wrong. Nothing changes how he was wrong, I won't say he was right, I still think he was wrong, but perhaps I should have reacted differently. I reacted with anger, and I had a lot of anger built up inside of me so its understandable, but perhaps I should have figured out a less aggressive way to treat the situation.

2) I had another very good example that I was going to share, but typing #1 I seem to have forgotten what #2 was, and as such, this is also a good example of how hard it is to be perfect. Maybe it was just something about how hard it was to get my book in order. I dunno.

3) Ah, telepathy. It is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to be perfect in telepathy!!! I have had a few perfect experiments, and I've had a bunch of really good experiments, but regardless of the reality of telepathy, being absolutely perfect is very hard to achieve, or even impossible.

 

About my telepathy: recently I had a few 2/3's in number-only pick 3, I had a 2/3 in alphanumeric pick 3, but I mostly had 1/3's and 0/3's in my experiments. I am sucking quite horribly at the ability.

It's possible that my test subjects are thinking dishonestly, and maybe that's all it is - but they commonly don't admit that this is the case, so it is very possible that I am no bloody good anymore.

 

Here's the news of the most recent greatest test: I wrote down: R (3 or 4) M.   My father's answer was: R A M.  2/3 alphanumeric Pick 3 - that's awesome----

 

BUT MOST OF THE TIME I DON'T DO NEARLY AS WELL. I am actually really quite bad at it. :(

Friday, March 29, 2013

A Perfect Score!

Today is a very sad day for me - but I was looking for my books on eBay when I found a French bookstore selling used copies of my First Edition. Look at the picture.

"Noter par les clients" is French for: "Rate by customers". I got a 10/10 rating! Yay! That helps me think better about myself.

 

[caption id="attachment_475" align="aligncenter" width="568"]FrenchBookstore10-10rating Someone gave me a perfect score![/caption]

Thursday, March 28, 2013

I am so sorry.

I feel pangs of regret for releasing books to public consumption that weren't in their final perfected states.

If you are one of the four or five lucky people who bought the first edition of "Letters to Whomever" when it was first released, I have to apologize because just months later I released a second edition with more information. And then months after that I finished it off with a bit more. And the only way to read the whole finished book is to buy the ebook.

I apologize for shipping an unfinished product into production and convincing you to buy said unfinished product. If it makes you feel any better - I wasted a lot more of my own money to publish the unfinished version of this product. Sorry.

 

Letters to Whomever was the biggest disaster when it came to publishing an unfinished product, but The Book of Finch's first edition was awful (even if my grandmother liked it) and the 70 or so people who snagged The Eagle's Sore first edition would be disappointed by some areas of poor writing.

 

Because I suck so bad at writing and publishing, I've been re-developing my interest in computer programming. So, I've started a course on iTunes U to learn how to program for iPad and iPhone. I basically do this whole activity at my own leisure, but from what I've learned and done so far: I can get my objective-C code to compile, it starts to run, but then something from Apple gives me a SIGABRT at a certain point and I'm shut down.

 

Will I ever be smart enough to do anything right ever again????

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Am I seriously that retarded?

Just posting a little comment about proofreading problems.

I recently wrote a letter. I proofread the letter, like, twice. Then I printed it out and gave it to my father to read. After he read it, I read the page I printed out, and found a number of problems with the text.

It's unbelievable. I think I get it right after a few proofreading sessions, but then some typos just magically appear in the text.

 

I would pretty much have to think, at this point, that someone is hacking my computer. Or that someone is being malicious somehow. I actually KNOW from the book publishing process that little errors will magically manifest themselves in a text, and though you think you've already corrected all the errors, somehow some new error magically pops up.

 

It's so annoying. I was just re-reading my text of "Aftermath", when I found a little typo. You know something? It was a typo - a completely misspelled word, it's a misspelled word that not even Amazon's spellchecker could find.

 

I mean, it's like no matter how much I proofread or how many spellcheckers I use, there will always be some kind of problem appearing in the text - and I KNOW for CERTAIN that these errors or some of these errors aren't even my fault --- it's like the software of the computer has a bug or someone is deliberately and maliciously hacking my text.

 

It's so bloody annoying.

 

UPDATE:::

I was having a quick look at The Book of Finch 3.2 Edition Softcover when I found a bit of a formatting error in part of the book. That, combined with a few other small changes, and there should hopefully be a new edition this year at some point. I'm not doing that yet though - I'm going to find all the corrections that need to be made in coming months, fix them, and then eventually release the new edition. I'm hoping I'll get an important document back from Avril Lavigne as well before I publish a new edition. The new edition's name will either be "3.3 Edition", if Avril doesn't return the letter, "Fourth Edition", if Avril does return the letter, or I may give up the numerical counting sequence altogether and call it "2013 edition". We'll see.

But, the point remains::: it's so annoying how these little problems will appear in any part of the book, and it's probably all Microsoft Word's fault. OK, maybe there is some user error involved - but though Word is a very powerful word processor, sometimes things are just a little wrong with it. And I keep having to fix things. So annoying.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

He's Coming Again!

Sorry - the title isn't depicting a return of the Saviour. It's depicting the re-assignment of Elder Richard K Melchin as my household's home teacher again.

If you actually read my book, you would understand that this move by the church borders on hazardous, except I am emotionally calm and have no more hatred or anger towards him.

I thought my books were finished - but almost undoubtedly this will result in another story being written.

I find myself speechless now. But, it is pretty big news to know that one of the "bad characters" in my book is coming back for more. OMG!

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Frustrated

I have over 1600 fans on facebook.

My website has hundreds of visitors each month.

Over 90% of these visitors visit my website using a bookmark or direct address.

These visitors come from over 30 countries, so we can know that I am not my own biggest visitor.

 

I have generated such interest from people - yet for some reason reported book sales are ABYSMAL. More often than not, Authorhouse will not report any sales. Smashwords slipped up and said I had a few paid downloads, but no sales reported - and Lulu gives me sales rank but no sales reported either.

 

What I mean is ---- I have obviously piqued the interest of quite a few people, but it seems obvious that the publishing services I've used are unable or unwilling to actually report the sales I should have had based on how much interest my website reports.

 

So basically ---- How is it that the self-publishing services of this day and age are so disabled when it comes to reporting sales and paying royalties? Why do I have so many hundreds of people who seem eagerly interested in my writing, with very little cash flow to show for it?

 

I'll just let you know: I've spent A LOT of money to get my story out into the world, and somehow my sales just don't get reported. I'm on disability welfare, the money I spent gave me a sizeable debt - and it is very difficult to pay back this debt when my sales aren't being reported properly. Very sad for me.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Irrelevance?

Well, I've had some really good telepathy tests in my lifetime, I would say there is a reality to telepathy, but that doesn't mean it works in everyone, and it also means it doesn't always work. Even Kreskin isn't perfect.

As for myself, recently I've had a lot of 1/3's, even a lot of 1/3's on Alphanumeric Pick 3, and some 0/3's, but really - I am so unimpressive that I really couldn't amaze in a television performance.  I've had a number of really-really good experiences with telepathy, but in all actuality - I'm not very good at it.

 

As for my book, Letters to Whomever, as a discussion about the mormon church - well, it's more of a sequel to the book of finch than a real extensive discussion of the LDS church. If you want a book that clearly discusses everything about mormonism - my book isn't a total codex or tome. My book is just my sequel of my life's adventure, depicting what I was trying to figure out about the church and what path I would take.

If you want a total discussion of LDS mormonism, you can look on Youtube or read any number of other books -- the only thing that my book discusses in-depth that other medias don't even touch is the scourging of the Jews, and you get a lot of what I say already for free on my website.

 

So, basically, I didn't make it big in the world of publishing or discussing this topic, most people are disinterested and the mormons may take offence at what I've said, even if I'm truthful and even if I don't totally decry mormonism - and really I'm not sure I am really very relevant anymore.

 

Basically, if you want someone who is doing a relevant discussion of our current day and age, I have to say that I am really very impressed with the "9Nania" youtube channel. She seems to be a good or credible source of information to me - not perfect, but she is really, really good, in my opinion.

 

If the LDS church is true - then some day I will travel and preach and become relevant - but all signs show that I will only be doing this after Jesus already returns, or after the resurrection.

 

My relevance in today's day and age is "relevant" but "nobody cares" and therefore I seem very "irrelevant".

 

Yup. Basically the non-mormon world politely accepts my book even if they don't believe, and the mormon-faithful world might accept my book but may also get really offended even if I'm not completely decrying the church.

 

What is my position on the church? Again - there is a lot to say against mormonism, and I would probably be against it if it weren't for certain miraculous experiences and wondrous events that cause me to think they have some kind of credibility.

The LDS church is so screwed up - but I have a testimony that there's something real about them, that they are not just completely crazy, even if they are sometimes completely wrong. Something like that. I've described my position on the LDS church as an "ambivalence", but I am trying to get rid of my negative feelings like hatred or anger, so even though I don't feel negative about the mormons anymore (and therefore am not necessarily truly ambivalent), I still have some mental inability to want to really be a part of that group. I think the mormons are screwed up, I think the mormons are real, and I am trying to get rid of my negative emotions.

 

But basically - I might not be completely relevant these days. My book is a good story, but no one really cares, and if you want someone who really seems to have a handle on current events and all that, I would recommend that girl on youtube.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Signs of the Times

Sometimes, I just like to lay in bed and watch some random guy talk about the same thing over and over again on youtube. Sometimes I like watching the same scene from "The Hunt For Red October" over and over again. In reality, I'm just watching and listening, and just finding comfort in the sounds of these mens' voices. It's weird. Yes - in my book I say that I am musically a homosexual, and yes, basically, I'm not finding sexual pleasure from it but I just enjoy listening to boy-music and listening to grown men talk about things in videos.

But recently I've started listening to more Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus. More Natasha Bedingfield. I'm becoming hetero again.

Anyway - youtube has been recommending very interesting videos for me, and there's this one woman they've recommended two videos to me for so far and I am enamoured.

It is very unfortunate that I have such sex problems in my life. But I think what I have to say about this woman's channel or her videos might be in the realm of "sexual harassment". I mean, I have no idea what she looks like, but just from the sound of her voice and the intellectual nature of what she talks about, I am actually having some kind of psycho-intellectual orgasm as I listen to her. It has nothing to do with my sex organs - it's just that her voice is so nice and what she's talking about is so interesting that I have to say that I'm sexually attracted. And I have no idea what she looks like.

 

She basically has all these timelines and information about current events and last days prophecy. She seems very intelligent -- she makes Fingerling look like an amateur. I feel stupid in comparison with this woman. She's a bigger celebrity than I am - and she deserves it.

 

Anyway, yeah, it's just this super-attractive female voice talking about super-intelligent things regarding current events and bible prophecy. She has my mind intellectually-orgasming, but I already realize she's way out of my league - I am small in comparison to what she has.

 

I am excited about this period of time on earth - everything seems set for Jesus to come back some day.

 

So --- I'd have to say that this woman's youtube videos are way better than porn.  I'm a bad boy for having any sex problems, I know, but I am so bored by porn and sex that when I watch this woman's videos I am happy, I am intellectually stimulated and it's an attractive voice to listen to. Basically, her channel may replace the videos I repeatedly watch of guys talking about less intelligent things. Hah.
I apologize if this seems like sexual harassment. It really does "turn me on" however. But she's way out of my league with how much more she knows about than me. She probably has a university education. I'm just sitting here with my mental illness pills. :)

Saturday, March 16, 2013

My Latest Book

I've released my latest book - it's a report on my thoughts and feelings after Letters to Whomever. I know a lot of people didn't buy Letters to Whomever, but I felt I should release this little report anyways.

It's $0.99, and is just a bit over 2000 words long, so I'm only releasing it as an ebook right now. It's available on kindle and smashwords.

It's called "Aftermath: A Report on Post-LTW Life". Enjoy!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Another Scary Thing.

OK - I was just looking at my website stats - and I noticed that someone in Germany is trying to hack my website - they were trying to hack my website on March 13th, the same day the new Pope was elected.

Yes - I think it's kind of scary that someone has tried to break in to my website. That's not good manners! You shouldn't do that!!

Maybe it has something to do with my take on Pope Francis possibly being the last Pope before Jesus Christ returns.

 

Maybe I'm being overly eager to see the end of Popes and the return of Jesus - but that's just it - I really am super eager and excited to bring Jesus Christ back to earth to rule and reign over the world.

If St. Malachy was wrong in his prophecy, that's not my fault - but can you really blame me for looking at the list of Popes and wondering if this could be the end? I would LIKE it to be the end. I WANT the end to come.

Considering we just recently ended the Mayan Calendar, and how this is the last pope in St. Malachy's prophecy, you have to understand that I would be hopeful. Let's not forget that there's this youtube video that gives an interpretation of Revelations 17 that really does indicate an interpretation that this could be the end.

 

So, if this pope is the last, then that's great. Do I feel stupid if he's not the last? I'd say St. Malachy should feel stupid about that - but I personally would just have felt deceived and let down.

 

As for hackers: Please don't hack my website - that's rude! Hah, I think it's very interesting that the day of the Papal election would bring very interested european passcode crackers to my website. Very weird.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Freaky Mysterious Occurrence - A Voice is Heard

Something really freaky just happened this evening.

As I was going to bed, thinking about how we may be facing the last Pope before Jesus returns, I had this idea to go watch that movie called "THE LAKE HOUSE".

I downloaded the movie on iTunes, and was watching it on my computer, and was thoroughly enjoying it.

Weird thing number 1: just before the two main characters were going to kiss, my mac switched to a different screen, all by itself, and I had to switch it back. It was as if my computer were being hacked or I was being haunted.

I think it may have been a haunting actually, because as I got to the end of the movie all the power on my block went out. I know this because the computer turned off - there were no lights, and when I looked out my window, there were no streetlights in the night.

Now - here's the odd thing -- just as the power turned off, I HEARD A VOICE. I would almost think the voice was coming from my clock-radio, but I can't be certain.

The voice didn't say anything that I could completely understand, and I would not want to re-utter it just in case it was the name of a demonic force spoken.

But, of course, it may have also been referring to or naming the name "YESHUA", which is Jesus.

I"ll tell you what I heard the voice say: it said something like "WELLYOUSH--", it was as if it said "Well, you should" or something like that except all I got was "WELL YOU SH-".

It was a loud voice. I heard it loud and clear, and unfortunately, I have no idea what it was supposed to mean.

Anyway, I sat there in the darkness, so I decided to grab a handy-dandy emergency flashlight my father had given me for christmas that I keep by my bedside. As soon as I flipped on my flashlight, my computer screen switched back on and the lights were in the streets again.

Wow. I mean - wow - very strange.

 

But yeah, I'd just like to repeat that according to the prophecy of St. Malachy, St. Francis is the last pope. According to another video Youtube Recommended to me, according to the video's interpretation of Revelations 17, this is the last pope and Jesus is coming in just a matter of years.

And then there's a book about prophecy by Cleon Skousen that my mom just lent me, and Gog is the ruler before Jesus comes - just like Jorge Mario Bergoglio, the new pope.

 

Interesting stuff - and now I'm freaked out by the strange computer hacking and power disturbances. And I heard a voice. Yikes.

A New Pope is Chosen!!!

Well, the conclave of Cardinals in The Vatican has chosen a new pope: Pope Francis I from Argentina. His first name is Jorge, I can't remember quite what is last name is.

Anyway, I decided I would have a look at the old Nostradamus prophecy I heard of that is supposed to list the popes. It turned out that the list is actually by St. Malachy, but some people think it was Nostradamus who did it. All the references I could find on the internet identify John Paul II but the list did not mention Pope Benedict or this one, leaving only "???" in the place their names would be. The interesting thing to note, however, is that according to this list of Popes, the current Pope is supposed to be THE LAST POPE BEFORE JESUS CHRIST RETURNS TO EARTH.

Another thing to note about today: today is 3/13/2013. 3+1+3 2+0+1+3 = 7 6. This would seem interesting if you actually bothered to read my book.

Consider how this new pope came after the March 3rd talk in an LDS CES Devotional about the death of Elder Maxwell, and yeah. Weird.

Another weird thing: I decided I would get rid of the typos in my book "The Eagle's Sore" by proof-reading and getting a new manuscript finished. The latest manuscript is dated March 2nd 2013, the original Lulu version was finished on March 3rd, but when I received the book in the mail I noticed some formatting problems so I redid it today (before I heard about the pope) in a new format, and the book turns out to be 79 pages total, or 77 pages if you don't count the title page or the copyright page.

Weird weird weird. Seems interesting.

 

So - new pope - last pope before Jesus comes according to St. Malachy - some interesting numerology that could relate to my book - my other book is republished in a new format on same day with interesting numerology in the page length (which just happened to be a "coincidence"). Wow.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Sorta-OK-Or-Impressive-Telepathy-Results - but not quite

OK, so, rather than depressing you with my expression of sadness from a recent post, I thought I'd update you on today's TELEPATHY TEST RESULTS.

 

I did THREE tests with my father --- all of them were AlphaNumeric Pick 3 Tests.

 

Test 1: I said J (D or G) 4.

He said TSE

Result::: a horrible test, the closest I got to being anywhere near right are that my J is just like his T except for the hook at the bottom.

 

Test 2: I said A Q (S or 2)

He said: B 2 5

Result::: sometimes I see more than one letter in alphabetic sequence (for some odd reason) when I do telepathy, so my A could have been a B, but I went with A instead, so that was almost right. I saw an "S" shape, but also thought that it might have been a "2". Turns out the S is like the 5 and the 2 was also right.

 

Test 3: I said (T or U) 5 (A or 4)

He said: J 4 P

Result::: I think this result is interesting, because my T and U are like his J, it is his J except that I split the shape of the J into a T and a U. Also: I also saw his 4, and I knew what shape he was using for the 4, I thought it could have been an A but I also wrote down 4, the same shape of the 4 he had written. You know, there are two ways to draw the number 4, and though I usually use the way that is not connected at the top, I specifically decided to use the triangular-connected version this time because that is what I thought my dad was using and I turned out to be right.

 

SO --- today's telepathy results weren't perfect, but I think I did pretty darned good, considering how much I did get. Yay.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

I Feel Like a Loser

I can feel my self esteem going kaput. Growing up I tried to be a good person, but I guess you could say that after my life experiences and now that I am grown up, I have become less-than-wholesome.

When I was young I made an agreement with God --- that in exchange for my celestial exaltation, I would serve the Lord for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, the offer of serving the Lord all my life was not enough to actually snag me a wife, and therefore I have no celestial exaltation without a wife.

I was the smartest kid in school growing up --- why on earth would God reject my lifetime of service? Why couldn't he simply let me have a woman so our agreement could go into effect?

Maybe my masturbation problem offended God --- but seriously, if God didn't want me to masturbate, then why did he take away my potential female companions?

 

And then there are other reasons why I can feel like a loser. If you read my book, you'll see that I pretty much went insane. Of course, to this day I would still debate the actual reality of anything there --- but even I realize that though I am not in full agreement with psychiatry about everything, yes, I did go insane.

My life's story is just so unwholesome that I really didn't turn out to be the person I would have hoped to be.

I barely graduated from High School. Grade 12 was hell on my mind. University was beyond my ability.

Though I have achieved some remarkable things in my life, those things could only happen with outside help from other people and a greater power. Alone I am pathetic.

 

I don't really have much in the way of friends either. I have only about a dozen friends on facebook, some of them I don't know personally, some of them are just family or acquaintances and very rarely do they interact with anything I actually say on facebook. It's like no one really cares.

 

Growing up, it seemed that I held such potential for my life and my future. Am I already "over-the-hill"? I say that because rather than a progressive upward movement you would have expected from a guy like me, I actually fell pretty badly.

 

Basically, I'm bloody useless and no bloody good. I'm generally considered intelligent, but my actual scope of achievement is extremely limited. I'm the only person in my family to have written a book, but I am also the only person in my family to not complete post-secondary education or consistently work at a real job.

 

I guess you could say that I march to the beat of a different drum. But all in all, things definitely didn't turn out the way I would have hoped. I feel uselessly incapable, as though my life were driven by fate rather than free-will.

 

Am I fated to be a loser? Or am I just learning something from this journey? Maybe I am learning --- growing up I was a good-learner and the king-of-the-hill of school-and-studies. I guess I'm just learning about what it's like to be the under-achiever now, or maybe everyone has to experience some hell in their lives and I'm no exception. Maybe that's all it was.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

An Interesting Gaming Coincidence

Yesterday, after I wrote my blog post about peacemakers and non-violence, I was thinking about what kinds of videogames I should play. It came to my mind that I could play Sim City.

I wasn't following the development of the new Sim City game, in fact, I didn't really care. But when I decided to visit SimCity.com yesterday, I was pleasantly surprised to find that a brand new version of the game had been released.

I thought about buying the game, I almost bought it, but then I decided I might need my money for something else. Well, today came, and I found that I wouldn't be needing my money for that other purpose, so I decided I should just jump in to Sim City - to buy a copy.

So, I've been playing around, getting the game installed and updated, and still haven't played yet because the servers don't seem to be working very well.

 

Anyway, I decided to click on link in the game and look at a developer video -- and what do I find? Sim City was actually released YESTERDAY - the same day I spontaneously decided to go have a look at the website.

 

How weird is that?? I had absolutely no interest in this title for the longest time, but the day I suddenly take an interest is the same day that the game is officially released and available for purchase. What a coincidence eh?

 

Yeah, I kind of want to play, I'm just waiting for the servers to work or for all the bugs to be ironed out or whatnot.

 

But this is just interesting. The day I spontaneously decide that I want to play this game is the very same day the game is released to the public. Wow.

 

My telepathy doesn't always work very well, but this is an interesting kind of experience. Hah.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Blessed Are the Peacemakers

Over the past few weeks or months, it has occurred to me that war is a terrible thing, and that violence is very unpleasant.

I recently watched the latest Epic Rap Battle of History on YOUTUBE between Martin Luther King Jr. and Ghandi.

I was contemplating Jesus' words "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God".

 

Basically, I believe that peace is a good thing. I realize it would be good to renounce violence.

Violence, in the form of domestic/sibling squabbles and video games have been a notable part of my life. During the war on terror, I was very supportive (in my own way) of invading enemy countries and destroying the enemy. It is even possible that I may have a violent psychological nature, possibly caused by having stupid classmates at school who constantly accused me of murder and said they were hypnotizing me to kill.

 

But now I am wondering which video games I should turn off, and am essentially thinking about how to keep a peaceful attitude. I realize that due to my classmates hypnotizing me to kill that I really may need psychiatric medications just to counter the hypnotic influence (I discussed this with my doctor the last time we met).

 

I mean, I'm going to continue eating meat and I can't promise that I'm going to cut all forms of violence from video games or movies - but I am wondering how I may also be considered to be a peacemaker. How can I be non-violent? I realize I may have to be more selective in my gaming (although, I don't game a whole lot anymore), and I realize I need to stop fighting. Hmmm.

 

Basically, I am looking at going down a path of peaceful-attitudes, and I think I like this path. I know there is a lot of violence in gaming, although, gaming is peaceful, but a lot of games depict violence... hmmm.

 

If I were to renounce violence, I'd have to make a conscious effort to not be the same sort of person ever again. Would I be able to do it?

 

LDS doctrine or teachers teach that sometimes WAR is a necessity. Of course, I feel, just to avoid fighting or confrontation, that I cannot even attend church anymore.

 

Basically, I'll say that I have been thinking about PEACE - and I admire a peaceful attitude, and I even have some wish to be so peaceful myself. Videogames are essentially a peaceful activity that just depict violent acts, but I don't game too much anyways but I am thinking that I may have to put limitations on the types of games I play. I believe in eating meat, and I don't discourage hunting, but I myself have to take a disarmed approach to life, just in case my classmates' hypnosis really would drive me to do something insanely wrong.

 

So I don't promise to be perfectly 100% peaceful, but I can say that I admire the peacemakers, and may the peacemakers help influence me to be more peaceful.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

A Message From China

I know that one of the countries that commonly and often visits my website is China.

Today a Chinese person sent me a message that I interpret, through what I understand of Chinese interpretation, to mean that GAMBLING IS ILLEGAL IN CHINA.

I know I recently posted something about gaming and money and even seemingly trying to justify the behaviour:::

 

But I think I will reiterate what I've just learned for my chinese readers -- MAKE NO ATTEMPT TO GAMBLE!! DO NOT PLAY THESE GAMES!! IT IS ILLEGAL!!

 

I am from Canada, and I talk about playing the lottery here (I don't use casinos) because in Canada the lottery is legal and is even used to fund government expenses, so that's my little excuse for how I was talking about gambling.

 

But I would like to make the chinese visitors aware that GAMBLING IS ILLEGAL!! It is an immoral way to screw over your life financially, and some 'lucky' guy gets rich with little to no effort expended.

 

And let us not forget the possibilities of CHEATERS in these games. It's not good for your wallet/pocketbook!!

 

So China: remember, the government might come hunt you down if you start illegal gambling practises.

 

Just a friendly reminder from myself, who was informed by a Chinese person.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Defining Ambivalence

I have, in recent history, typically told people that I am ambivalent about the LDS church. How should I explain this position?

1) I think the local church has some really messed up people or messed up attitudes. There is another way I could say this, but people might find it offensive because of the bad language I would use.

2) I like top church leaders like the fifteen apostles. They are usually very impressive.

3) Some of the problems I've had with local leaders may actually be "gray areas" of morality. It seems wrong, but it might be right, depending on how the situation is interpreted. Very difficult to understand these situations, or at least, it was for me.

4) The church has some really really good realities to it, things that I would explain about the church as being uniquely magical, and this should not be overlooked.

5) In so many medias, it seems so apparent that there is something COMPLETELY WRONG with LDS church history.
Therefore:

I don't completely love the church, but I don't completely hate it. Part of the time I find myself admiring the LDS church, and part of the time I find myself despising them.

 

I know the church said that once you are for or against the church that there is no neutral ground - so either I AM the undiscovered neutral ground, or I keep flip-flopping back and forth about how I think about the church.

 

The easiest way or most accurate way that I think my ambivalence towards the church can be defined is that I think my local church is rather screwy but I love the apostles. I am a general conference mormon - the only church meetings I usually have any interest in are general conference, and CES devotionals, one of which is coming this Sunday.

 

And that is basically how "Letters to Whomever" ended. If you want to go on the LtW journey, there is a lot of in depth detail about why I think both sides of the fence are right.