Wednesday, February 27, 2013

New Additions

This blog post is just to make note that today I made some additions to my article about an unfulfilled prophecy in the book of mormon. It's not really new information, but it might help clarify some things that I didn't think were made apparent in yesterday's version of the document.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Almost Famous

Well, the visits I receive at this website having interesting enough statistics to know that either: a) my comments pages are breeding grounds for new SPAM or b) some people may be genuinely interested in my blog and there is still a lot of spamming anyways.

 

I have to figure out how to mix my humility with positive thinking. If I show myself to be too humble, then I'm just attracting negativity into my life. If I'm not humble enough, then I look like a self-righteous, unrealistic over-achiever.

 

So, there's not a lot to say except I feel like I'm on vacation right now, I'm just enjoying a good and happy life at this point. I'm doing some paperwork and I am a little worried about the church, but all-in-all I'm having a good time.

 

Whatever purpose I have to fill in life, I hope I will be able to competently do that and achieve the desirable end. I could talk about feelings of inadequacy for any possible purpose I may have, but I would like to think more positive than that.

 

As for my recent telepathy - I do well enough to beat statistical expectations, but not well enough to be real impressive. That means I get a lot of 1/3's, some 2/3's and some 0/3's, but a lot of 1/3's. I get enough 1/3's that you could say I'm beating statistics from those alone, I get enough 2/3's to keep myself entertained, and my 0/3's are so few that they do not darken my day. much. But, consistent 1/3's - though they beat statistics, they don't seem impressive. I'll just remind you that for about a week or two within the past 3 weeks I wasn't doing any good at all - it's as if the ability that disappeared, and is only just re-emerging in the past few days.

 

So I hope I can do good in life, I hope I can fulfill my purposes in a desirable way, and I'll just acknowledge my visitors by saying that I see the stats and I know you come, and please, I'm not interested in your spam, even if you are brown-nosing me.

Friday, February 22, 2013

All the tax issues

I have to wonder if I don't see my sales from publisher(s) like I should because I didn't give them an ITIN or I didn't fill out the W8BEN form.

It is possible that I need this US Taxpayer information. Ack! I've been going all these years without having the proper documentation and wondering why I don't get paid!!!

 

If I've been stupid all these years, then yes, of course, I feel very stupid now. If I'm feeling stupid even if I'm wrong about the aforementioned supposition, then yes, I am still stupid. Just feeling stupid.

 

I don't think I have an ITIN right now. If I do - I've completely forgotten about it. I should probably get one.

 

And I feel stupid.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

I PREDICTED THE FUTURE! AGAIN!!!! (in a way)

OK, did you see yesterday's news? I only became aware about this as my brother told me about it.

Kansas City gas explosion, fire injures 14

 

I, did, actually, kind of sort of predict this event.  Here's my story:::

 

Earlier this year, I wrote down a note based on my telepathy which I showed to my father. The note said:
"There will be an explosion in France? Jan 2nd 2013 2:46PM"

The prediction was made ON January 2nd, it wasn't made about January 2nd.
I just kept the note hidden underneath my mousepad, keeping it in the back of my mind in case there were any explosions in France.

 

Well, it could be said that I was wrong, or that I didn't really predict this explosion, but I'll just say that "frANCe" and "kANSas" or even "frANCAIS" and "kANSAS" are similar enough words that we were just seeing my telepathy being innaccurate again.

 

I never claimed to be a perfectly perfect and accurate and true mentalist --- I make a lot of mistakes, and historically my telepathy has been about this accurate. I'll just reference a couple stories in my book, like the time I telepathically heard "THAILAND" but it was actually "TAIWAN", or even the time I thought President Hinckley was shot to death on Christmas Day 2006 but it actually turned out that it was my next door neighbour that got shot to death on Christmas Day 2006.

 

My telepathy has rarely been perfectly accurate or have any form of absolute perfection, so considering that I predicted an explosion in a place that had an "ANS" sound in the name, the explosion in KANSAS could be the fulfillment of this prediction.

 

So, I'm happy with myself, though I realize my prediction wasn't perfect and some might say that I wasn't predicting the same event. But please: DON'T DEBATE THE PREDICTION ITSELF - MY FATHER IS A WITNESS FROM WHEN I MADE IT!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Baby Blessing

I've come home from a journey down south, where I attended my sister's ward for the baby blessing of her new daughter.

During the first part of the meeting and during the blessing, I knew I didn't feel anything - I was empty. But as soon as the bread started to be blessed for the sacrament, I felt my heart fill up with the warm or peaceful good feeling of the Holy Ghost, or what would be identified as the Holy Ghost.

As the water, or the blood, was being blessed, I had to hold myself back from a sudden small urge to cry. I just began to tear up, but I managed to stop myself from crying.

The good feelings lasted for the rest of the meeting and into much of the day, that was a good LDS experience.

 

I'm glad I could have a good experience at an LDS church once more, I fear that somehow my experiences in my own ward or stake could end up being less than I would want - but I can always hope for  a good outcome.

 

Last night, the night before the baby blessing, I finished reading that "Just Believe" book by Lisa Tarves.

 

Though it is not perfectly inline with what I understand of LDS mormonism - I do believe that it is a good book, with good things, although I wouldn't say that it's necessarily or absolutely perfect. It's just a good book. I think I might want to share it with my psychiatrist, with the talk of energy healing or holistic health practises - it seems very interesting.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Telepathy Suffers

For a little while there I was doing pretty good with my telepathy in a pretty consistent way.

But now that's over.

Most recently, my telepathy has not been doing so well. I have very small limited success now, meaning that I am mostly wrong. The ability isn't working very good anymore.

This doesn't mean telepathy is impossible. It just means it's not working right now. At other times it works very well and I get pretty good results consistently. But right now I just suck at it.

Monday, February 11, 2013

On Gaming and Gambling

I was just thinking about how weird Church morals on gaming or gambling are.

1) Buy a board or video game, and earn nothing for it - OK

2) Enter a draw to win a car - OK

3) Buy a scratch n' win ticket to win a prize - NOT OK

 

So, in other words,

1) To pay for nothing in return - OK

2) To do nothing for a big prize - OK

3) To pay for a chance to get a prize - NOT OK

 

Isn't it weird how you could buy every single board and video game at Toys R Us and that would be morally OK, whereas if you bought every scratch n win ticket at a 7 Eleven that would be morally unacceptable??

 

You can put money into a game that you'll receive no benefit from - but if there's a chance you'll get monetary reward, you can't spend money on it.

 

I'm sure there's a certain wisdom at work here, but it almost seems like a flawed logic or flawed wisdom.

 

If I bought every scratch 'n win ticket at a 7 Eleven, there's a chance that I'd make part or all of my money back.

But if I bought every board and video game at Toys R Us, I would not make my money back - but this is considered far more acceptable than buying scratch n win tickets.

 

Another thing: Lets say you bought one scratch n win ticket. That would run you at least $1 in fee. And you have a chance of winning a prize.

Lets say you bought one board game. That would cost at least $15-$20, and there's no chance of winning anything in return.

 

Isn't that weird?

 

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Room 237

http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/independent/room237/

 

I was just looking at the movie trailers on apple.com. Found this: Room 237.

Technically, it has nothing to do with me, and probably doesn't have anything to do with me - but I thought it was interesting that it was a movie about a movie, kind of like how my book is "about" a movie (and the movie is about a book), both movies involving the number 23 in the title. (Actually my book is about my life - and the number 23 seems to be about my life too, but the book is comparable to the movie)

Yeah - so Room 237, Number 23, Room 23 in the movie.

The movie Room 237 is about is "The Shining" by Stanley Kubrick. I don't think I've seen this movie, but Finch does sing that Daylight Shines on me.

As well: hidden secret messages, and more references to The DaVinci Code. Yay.

I was a little bit interested in this, even if it technically has nothing to do with me - there are just comparisons that I can draw - just from the little bit of information I've already seen.

Just my over-active schizophrenic mind making connections I guess. There actually aren't many connections to make here - but the ones I did make were big enough that I just thought I might as well mention it on my blog.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Some Paranoia

I'm just experiencing some of that abstract paranoia sense again. It might be mental illness, but it might also just be a sense that there could be something going on in my community that I wouldn't like.

I'm just noting that I feel some paranoia, and as I feel it, I therefore feel like saying it -- and I have nowhere better to say it than on my blog.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

The Latest (for now)

I still do not hate Elder Richard Melchin. The anger is gone. I may not be likely to return to church anytime soon anyways, and yes I still have questions about how truthful or reasonable the church really is, but at least we can know that I don't feel the evil feelings.

 

As for telepathy - today was a pretty good day. I did three tests today, and this is how well I did:

With my Dad, I did a number-only Pick 3, and scored 3/3 box. That was really quite good.

With my Mom, I did a number-only Pick 3, and scored 2/3 box. That was pretty good.

With my Dad I did an alphanumeric Pick 3, and scored 1/3. Not the best, but statistically about as good as a 2/3 in number-only. (one is 1:12, the other is 1:18).

 

So, my telepathy was pretty good today - I feel like I'm getting better and better at the skill. Tomorrow I will see a psychiatric doctor (regular appointment) and this doctor isn't my regular doctor, so it will be interesting to tell the doctor about my ability to reasonably demonstrate and prove the ability.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Importance of The Book

Why do I have about 1600 fans on facebook? I'm pretty sure most of them have never actually read my book. Unless, of course, my "sales" aren't being reported to me.

I've had sales. I've given away copies. Some people, typically mormons, outright reject my book because of their predetermined prejudices. Some mormons, even maybe most mormons I've met, do seem to accept my book, though.

Of course --- my efforts are not powerful enough. I don't have the cash reserves or the social life to give a free book to everyone, and it's even likely that a lot of people are either disinterested or outright reject me (rejecting me without even knowing the story!!).

How many copies of The Book of Finch have been distributed? I'd say the number is still less than 100.

Of course, about 60 copies of The Eagle's Sore were downloaded when it was available for free - and that's amazing, but it's just sad that most of those downloaders received an imperfect first edition -- and nobody wants to actually pay for it.

My book is very important to me, or at least, it was important, but I've faced two big problems:

1) I'm a bad writer. I keep having to fix up my book and put out a new edition.

2) No one really wants to just buy this book, and even if I give it for free, slim chances that they'll actually read it.

 

It is something I want to get out there, to be known - my book and my story.

 

It's interesting how you'll get millions of people PAYING to watch completely fictitious baloney on the big screen, but even if a very smart non-fiction book is released for free they'll ignore it. I mean, the fiction gets way more attention than any actual truth, and this is kind of sad. Everyone likes watching moving pictures with sound rather than reading a first-hand account!!! AAAAGGGH!

 

In other news, I recently saw Avril's new JUNO Award commercial with Chad Kroeger and Michael Bublé and I thought it was hilarious. Kind of sad for me, realizing that Avril has another man, but the commercial was still funny - for me at least. Hah.

Angelic Appearances

Today I woke up thinking about two things: how much I love Avril Lavigne - and about some of the angelic appearances I've experienced.

It's very sad - but I realize I've always seemed too introverted or scared to have lengthy in-depth discussions with angels or Jesus. An angel once invited me to walk and talk with him -- and I just passed up the opportunity because of my fear.

Once when Jesus appeared -- he seemed very ready to start a conversation with me but I just got so scared that I ran away.

It is actually probably not right that I run away from these messengers -- it would be very good to have a nice real chat with them. But realize this: I'm already a naturally introverted person, and Jesus is scarier than the ghosts in scooby-doo. Just think about that.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

My Current LDS Position

So: what do I think about the LDS church right now? I think it's true that the LDS church has some really idiotic and stupid qualities, but, there is also something really good about it. There's like this magical energy about mormonism.

I would warn anyone who wants to dabble in mormonism that some of the stuff of the LDS church is complete and utter idiocy - but there are also genuinely good and wonderful things about it.

 

I would wonder how to get past some of the bigger problems I may experience or may have experienced in the church. My book tries to be educational and informative - but because it is very apparent from the story that we are all sinners, some mormons might not approve of it - some mormons prefer depictions of perfect happy people who never really do anything wrong. It's true that my book is not like that - I just try to tell the truth.

 

I said in an old e-mail that my book is like a lesson in humility. With how Dave Perez said our leaders cannot be criticized - yes - the church needs more humility. I thank Dave that I was able to let loose some steam on him and I felt better after, it's like he was better than any psychiatric doctor when it came to helping my feelings - but it is true that we shouldn't consider ourselves or our leaders to be absolutely perfect and wonderful individuals.

 

There are only two perfect people I know of: Jesus Christ, and my youngest sister. The reason I say my youngest sister is perfect is because she has been such a great person and has never really offended me and everyone really seems to like her. OK - yes - as a kid, before she was baptized, she once stole some gum from a store, but when her siblings found out about the pilfered chew, we told her mother and my mother taught her how to repent and never do that again. That is the only "bad" thing I remember about my youngest sister. In fact, my youngest sister is such a great person that I get the impression that she doesn't like being around the rest of us imperfect naughty people in her immediate family - and I understand that.

 

But anyway, none of us are really perfect --- and I totally understand if people don't read my book because they don't like reading, or they have better things to do. But to reject reading my book because you have to criticize me without knowing more about the story - then that looks bad on you.

 

Is it true that I am critical of the leaders? It is true that the leadership seemed so wrong that I could no longer really accept the church at face value - there were some right or truish things about the leaders, but it generally just seemed so wrong to me, that I did feel a great deal of anger over it.

 

And as for my anger, there's this wonderful feeling in the world where I can know or think someone was wrong - but still not feel angry anyways - and that's called forgiveness.

 

So - maybe very few people actually care about my book - but don't tell me you're not going to read it because you are critical of me. You may only criticize me AFTER you've read the whole story and found out everything there is to know.

Life was once good.

Life was once good. I was a good kid, I did well in school.

Life was so good for us, that when my non-member grandmother died in late december 1998, my mother asked my father to use his priesthood to invite her spirit into our home so her ghost could "feel of the spirit of our home".

First, I was confused at how a ghost could feel our spirit, and I was also concerned that my unbaptized grandmother might bring unwanted spirituality to our home so I told my dad not to do it. Mom insisted. He listened to mom.

Anyway, hours to a day later I was in the bathroom doing my duty, when I sensed the spirit of my grandmother TELLING me that "it's time to masturbate!!!" I tried thinking up a response trying to say "no grandma, I don't masturbate, go away". But, somehow I felt hypnotized, and my sexual senses were being stimulated. I didn't even think I was giving in to her will, but I was tricked and fell pray to the temptation. Life has been a downhill freefall ever since.

That is how I remember the story of how I lost my chastity - there's more to the story of that, but basically the point is that as I remember it, I REALLY DO blame my grandmother for destroying my sex life.

It was a total disaster for me.

Perhaps I could say more, but I won't, I think I've said enough.