Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Forgiveness

I feel really good inside. I feel so happy, it's just a good heart-warming feeling.

I feel like I can forgive Richard Melchin. I don't forget some of the things that happened, but I don't feel bad about it either. This doesn't mean I'll go back to church and try to be his friend, but I feel so good inside that you could not say that I am angry or hateful right now.

I still don't approve of some of the things that were said or happened, but I don't feel any hatred or anger either. The holy spirit is pleasuring me.

 

Yesterday I had so many thoughts and feelings about how much the church was something I really didn't like, and when Dave Perez became completely unreasonable with me, I just let loose an explosion of how much I do not approve of his way. And I've felt a lot better ever since, I am so happy.

 

If these happy feelings last, it would be like, I'd never feel angry ever again.

 

But in all seriousness --- in my own discussions with my family, my dad says Richard Melchin's letter is Richard Melchin's problem. Yesterday Dave Perez said it was my problem. So the stake president was sending me problems huh? I'm just a little confused about why we can't straighten out whose problem it is: he said something to me that was untrue/unreliable, and Dave says it's my problem while my Dad says it's Melchin's problem. Why is there such a disagreement?? Why can't we come to an agreement about whose problem it actually is???

 

Anyway, happy feelings, peace, love, etc -- just good stuff in my heart.

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