Friday, December 28, 2012

Low-Quality Thought Process

You want to know the latest way I discovered I had screwed up? On the copyright page of the second edition of Letters to Whomever, a book that none of you (except for one guy) actually bought, I referred to the second edition as the third edition on the copyright page. That little error went completely unnoticed by myself until today. I have no idea.

You know what people? I'm not a very good writer. I'm not a very good mentalist. It's true that people will compliment me by telling me I'm intelligent or that my first edition was well written or that I clearly explained myself in the second edition --- but when it really comes down to it, and perhaps I am my own worst critic, as it would seem, my writing has suffered tremendously from various problems including inaccuracies, typos, omissions and incoherencies.

I am really not a very good writer. My story was interesting enough to write about, but I was was not the best storyteller for the job. I do congratulate on myself for some of the writing I've done - After reading some of my own writing I realize that some of my stuff is well-written, but I've produced enough garbage that I can't really consider myself to be a good writer.


I'm a bad mentalist too. I mean, I AM a mentalist --- it is utterly obvious from numerous experiences I've had that I have experienced some sort of mental telepathy or greater awareness --- and though I have experienced that kind of reality, generally speaking, I wouldn't say I'm very good at it. I'm good enough to beat statistics, but I'm not good enough to really be impressive. I'm a bad mentalist - not good enough for TV.


I enjoy life, I think life is good, but I have to try and be nice and polite to people. Sometimes I seem like a total dick I'm sure - and that's not really right, I guess it's good that I have socialist medicine to give me the medications I need so my brain works in a way that people like. I wish I didn't need the meds, but I am realizing that it's very possible that this drug gives me a longer fuse.


Growing up (depending on what point of life we're talking about), I generally thought I was a good person. Was I? No - I was a stupid kid, I was a stupid kid even if I was the smartest guy in the class. I'm not trying to say that my classmates were "ultra-stupid" or anything, I'm just saying that I did not know or understand things that I realize now, and even if I was a good student, I was not smart enough.


And that goes for myself today too. I'm still not very smart - I'm lazy, you could say I'm weak, I'm insociable.


I want to be a good person, but I don't know how to achieve some of my lofty goals. I feel good about my life, I'm happy with my life, but I'm puny compared with the person I had hoped I would be.


So, at this point in my life, I think I'm just going to try and pay my debts, and if I get that special document from Avril Lavigne I can then finally finish my books completely (hopefully). I mean -- it would be great to just be finished with this book project, to finally have a final perfected set of documents. Maybe I'll advertise the book when I'm done, but from experience I know I can't really expect too much from people.


So yeah - finish the books, pay my debts, a friend of mine thinks I should find another job - but I know I'm too weak and lazy, or at least I think I'm too weak and lazy. Well, maybe my brain just doesn't work very good anymore. I was top of the class growing up, but now, even if I am considered to be intelligent by those around me, I still see myself as a rather flawed individual. That's just the way it is.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

My Stance on the Ruling Economical and Governmental Systems in Society

For some reason recently, my mind has turned to thought about where I stand on how the economic system of my society should be run. So, I decided to write up this post.

Growing up, I excelled in school, and as it was obvious that I could trounce the competition, I had a very capitalistic attitude. So, essentially I was a capitalist.

BUT - growing up my father had no job, and I was going crazy, so as I was growing crazy I realized I could not survive in capitalism, so I more or less made a quick switch to socialism.

Under capitalist ideal, my family was very poor and had to rely on the church welfare system for food.

Under a more "lefty" ideal, my family has increased greatly in wealth. It's not perfect socialism, it's not completely capitalist either.

This would seem to show that I am a centrist, in our canadian system, that would be like calling me a "Liberal". But, the term "Liberal" doesn't really stick because ever since I've ever known, my father has instilled a huge aversion to Liberals in my family. From what I understand of the political spectrum, I'm happy with a centrist system between capitalism and socialism, but I've never actually VOTED Liberal. I'm like a bi-polar centrist, either voting for the extreme left or the extreme right.

Yup - that's right folks - I've always voted either as far right as possible or almost as far left as possible. I considered voting communist for a little bit too.

Of course, the closest I got to voting CENTRIST, was when I helped elect Alison Redford as the leader of the PC's in Alberta. She's the closest thing to a centrist I have ever voted for. She's a PC (PROGRESSIVE Conservative), so she'd be right of centre, whereas Liberals are typically LEFT of centre.

Electing Alison Redford was a good move for me, I'm thankful for what she has done in my life, but that didn't stop me from betraying the PC's in the next election and going with the right-wing WILDROSE party.

Anywho, there are reasons I went with Wildrose, mostly just because my brother had a friend who wanted to run for political position in the party, but anyway...


Anywho, so I like social ideals, and I would think that I'm a socialist, except I have no idea what it's like to live in a real socialist society, and I have voted for right wing parties in a few elections, so maybe I'm a centrist, maybe I'm a Liberal.


I've wanted to see myself as a socialist, but I've got enough connections with the right-wing side that I might just be a centrist, and in Alberta it's OK to be a centrist as there's a Progressive Conservative Party, but federally the PC's turned into just C's, and now the only centrist party I can think of is the Liberals. And we have an aversion to Liberals in my family.

Of course, last provincial election I ALMOST voted Liberal. I almost got comfortable with voting for that party, but I decided to vote on one debate alone, so I voted Wildrose. If the one issue I was thinking about wasn't my issue, then the Liberals would probably have been my party.


So --- economically, I'm pretty close to Liberal, although I've never voted for them. I'm a bi-polar centrist who once voted right-of-centre.


As for Governmental Systems of Choice --- I think Canada's governmental system is actually really, really nice. It's not too authoritarian, It's not too democratic, it just looks real great to me, and seems to be working well.


Growing up I was totally pro-democracy. But I realize democracy can fail. So at some point  I was thinking authoritarianism would be cool --- except it's totally obvious that authoritarian governments aren't that great either --- so what we have is Canada --- I think Canada has a GREAT system, not totally democratic, not completely authoritarian, just a nice mix of the two. Yay!

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Could be worth mentioning...

Merry Christmas everyone!

I suppose I should mention that my new fantasy, "The Eagle's Sore: A Novella" is available for free kindle download until the end of December 26th. I forgot to mention this here yesterday.

And, of course, there is still "The Book of Finch: Free Edition".


Saturday, December 22, 2012

Less Stock Available?

I've noticed that there have been a few shops on the Amazon Marketplace that have stopped selling or run out of stock of my book.

I can think of three reasons why they no longer list my book:

1) Christmas Break (unlikely)

2) All Sold Out (more likely)

3) They recycled or threw out all those copies because they weren't selling.


So, basically I'm facing a situation where these stores have run out of stock, and now I have to guess about whether the books were thrown out or if they were sold.

If they were sold, AuthorHouse might not tell me about it, as they have had problems reporting sales in the past.

If the books did sell, then I suppose it's just a bit of a shame that I would suddenly release a Free Edition ebook.

But, I think either the books were thrown out, or if they were sold then I likely won't be having the sale reported to me anyways, because historically AuthorHouse hasn't been very good at reporting sales. I would love to have sold all those books and to have received a nice fat royalty cheque for them, but I don't think we can expect AuthorHouse to properly report the sales.

AuthorHouse SHOULD report the sales, but I see them as being disreputable enough that the reports are unlikely.

Thank you to the fans who did buy the book - I hope you enjoy it.
Perhaps I've been entirely foolish to release my ebook for free - but recently I just wanted to get the book out there, so I didn't care if I didn't get paid. Actually, I wasn't really expecting to get paid --- even if people were buying all the hardcopies, I didn't really expect to get paid by AuthorHouse.

The Latest Evolution: CHEAP AND FREE!!

On the evening of December 21st 2012 I decided I should try to get more people to actually read my book, and thought that maybe lowering the price of the ebook to $0.99 would attract readers.

Well, I lowered the price, and told over a thousand people on facebook about the decrease - and though people liked my post that the book was now the cheapest price possible, none of them actually bought it.

Yes - I think it's sad that I have 1400 fans who all like my book but the vast majority of them aren't willing to spend $0.99 to read it.

This evening I thought "to hell with it" and decided to release the publication for FREE on!

So far, Facebook hasn't seemed too inclined to tell people about this new freedom, some kind of problem or something, but hopefully people will find out and finally download it to read it.

If my 1400+ fans can't seriously be bothered to actually READ the book even though it's FREE - I'll be seriously disappointed.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Looking at the Call

Avril Lavigne asked me during the phonecall what I like to do for fun. My response to her likely quashed whatever hope of a romance I might have ever had with her.

Here she is, a party girl. I heard she said she's introverted, and I'm introverted too, but she's into alcohol and partying... if she ever had any interest in me, she probably lost it when I said I liked hobbying with Apple II's.

OK - it wasn't apparent that she ever had any interest in me during the call - but then again, she didn't seem to know what an Apple II is either, so she might've just been playing.

I suppose it's possible that she didn't really know what an Apple II was - but I think she's far too smart to have had no idea what an Apple II is. Therefore: she was acting - she seemed to be acting like she had just learned of me, but she also acted like she didn't know what an Apple II was - and I'm sure she's not that stupid.

If Avril really seriously had no idea what an Apple II was - then it's kind of sad how she left it up to her manager to make me feel like my fanletters to her were read. But - I think she's smarter than that, I believe she was acting - she was acting like she didn't know me, just like she was acting like she didn't know what an Apple II was.

But all in all - she's a party girl, and with how I sat there talking about how I like Apple II's. I'm probably not the most interesting guy for her.

I almost thought about mentioning my books or telepathy - but she didn't ask what I did for work, and I was feeling kind of frozen. I had one thing on my mind: retrieve that document!!

Friday, December 14, 2012

Avril Lavigne called me on the phone today

Avril Lavigne called me on the phone today - just a couple of hours ago. I said the most important things: that I want my important document returned to me. I think they said they would look for it.

There were other things which I had on a list to talk about, but I was generally just too scared to talk about it all - I mentioned only a few things.

I was too scared to talk about my books or telepathy. Maybe I should have, but I was frozen.

She's a nice girl, and I really enjoy her.


I have sent in a request to AuthorHouse to cancel publication of the First Edition of The Book of Finch ebook. If you want first edition - hurry! It will be gone within a month I think.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

I Almost Seem Like an Expert

With telepathy, I have good days, and bad days. Today I had a few really bad experiments, and then we stopped. Then we did some other stuff for a while, and then I prayed, and then I wanted to do ONE more test today.

So, I asked my dad to write down three characters between 0-9 and A-Z, and to concentrate on each individually. I wrote down my reading.

I wrote down "4 M B".

My father's original was "4 6 B".

This is the absolute truth - I swear. I had written down only three characters, and he had his three, and two matched perfectly. It was beautiful.

The chances of getting 2/3 on the alphanumeric pick3 are 1:222 I think. Isn't that awesome??

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The 'Christopher Nemelka' Question

Last night I was watching some mormon-related show, and they started talking about and talking with one Christopher Nemelka.

I thought Christopher Nemelka seemed possible, I thought he seemed believable.

But now that I've had a bit of a closer look - I think there might be something wrong. He claims he is not a prophet - yet he claims to have translated the sealed portion of The Book of Mormon and seems to think he understands more about scripture than anyone else.

I admit I may be wrong in my analysis - but with Nemelka's works I would PROCEED WITH CAUTION, or IGNORE.

I have no idea what his motives are - and I thought he could have been believable if he was authentic, I may be wrong to think he's wrong - but I have not seen enough proof of his validity to accept that he is real.

I have experiences about my own life that I know are real. I know certain things about life and reality. Nemelka almost seemed to have a plausible idea of what the truth might be, but I fear he is just a cunning deception.

At first I thought he was insane, and then I thought he was believable and I was excited - but now I'm guessing there's something not quite right about him.

In order to prove or disprove him, I would have to sit down and try to read and understand and analyze all his work. This seems very unlikely, as I am already looking at him with skepticism.

If he could meet Joseph Smith Jr., if he could translate the sealed portion of the Book of Mormon, yet he is not a prophet, then I would have to be skeptical.

There are things I know about myself like: A) I have predicted the future multiple times. B) I have seen Jesus Christ multiple times. C) I have experienced the miraculous. D) I want to inspire good moralities in people.

How well do these four things about myself fit in with the LDS church? Technically I fit right in with the LDS church. In practice, I know the LDS church has some serious problems accepting these realities, so I just stay away from them now, mostly.

But, if I am a man who experience(s/d) those four things, then I do consider myself a prophet. In the LDS church, I would be a small 'p' prophet, but a prophet nonetheless.


Christopher Nemelka makes wondrous claims about his experiences and knowledge, yet he does NOT claim to be a prophet. Nemelka expressed a view that there is no single one God entity, that we are our own Gods, or whatever it was he exactly said. I don't think this is true. When I pray, I'm praying to another being, I am not doing it with myself.


My claims about myself and my experiences are less majestic that Namelka's, but I know that even I am prophetic. If Namelka is more majestic than me, yet not a prophet --- that is a sign of concern that would lead me to reject him.


I do not know his motives, but I am skeptical about Namelka's claims. If he knows Jesus and translated the sealed portion of The Book of Mormon, I would think he'd be a prophet, but he claimed he's not a prophet, so that's a simple sign that I don't need to bother with him.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Pretty OK yet Unfabulous Telepathy

So - I just decided moments ago to try another telepathy test with my dad. Just one alphanumeric Pick 3 test.

For the first character, I wrote down that I thought it was an "R" or a "B". It actually turned out to be a "P". I had the right idea.

For the second character, I wrote down that I thought it was an "O" or a "Q". It really did turn out to be a "Q"! Yay!

The only thing I got right about the third character was that it was a number, I said "4" but it was actually "9".


So, all things considered, that turned out to be a pretty good one-time solo test. Cool. Thank God.

Fixing the Book

OK - so I've read through the Eagle's Sore and I've fixed a number of things in both the paperback and the kindle ebook. The paperback is now available for sale, and the kindle ebook is in the process of being updated, and I hope Amazon will notify my customers of the update (so the book can be updated on their kindles for free).

I called this new edition "1.1 Edition". OK.


Thursday, December 6, 2012

Kicking Myself - Third Book

So, this is my third post about my third book where I'm just going to announce how disappointed I am in myself, and in my editor.

The only person who proof-read my book was my father --- and in school he scored lower in english than I did. After publication, I now find some language errors in the writing. If those aren't a big deal - there's a story coherency issue that is a bigger deal. My dad never lifted a finger or made any effort to fix these mistakes.

When I asked him how he'd rate my book, he said "4/5". I guess that was a warning that there was something wrong with my story, but after he gave it the 4/5 rating, he said "But I don't know how to make it better". AGGGHH. It's an imperfect story that he couldn't help me make better.

I suppose it's also my fault that the book turned out this way, I proof-read the book and obviously missed these things too. Actually, for some of these things I thought I had fixed them - but they've somehow reappeared. Very weird. And maybe some of them I never noticed. So it's also my fault.

As for my mom, like I said, she said she'd read it - but she had absolutely no desire to edit or proofread. That was discouraging, and yes, I decided to release the book before she was finished. She wasn't putting much effort into it. Why release the book prematurely? No one else was willing to proof-read, and I wanted it ready before christmas - so it could be used as a gift.

And my brother? My brother is just antagonistic towards me, so I don't think he would've been any good. How's he antagonistic? He'll argue with me about all sorts of things, and he's not interested in telepathy experiments, and I don't think he was interested in reading my book either.


I suppose the mistakes I'm referring to in the text aren't big deals, they're easy to get past. There's one mistake which is a bigger problem than the rest of them, but hopefully my readers will be able to get past that.


I guess I might as well mention that my book sold 53 free copies yesterday and the day before, and ranked as highly as 3,229 on I'm glad so many people bought it - but now that I've been reading it again, I can't help but fear that the reviews and ratings are going to reflect somewhat poorly on me.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

My Father's Proof-Reading isn't worth squat

I've been re-reading my recently released book... and I realize that my father's proof-reading isn't worth squat.

He let through a number of little errors, as well as didn't alert me to a basic coherency problem in the story. I mean - holy crap dad - I asked you to proof-read my book to improve it, and for some reason after you've read it, I've got a number of "typos" and I'm not even sure you read the book with any level of intelligence or coherency because in this one part of the story I got from point a to point c without a point b. And you just let that through, as if  you didn't even realize something was missing.

Either someone somehow altered my text, or my Father's proofreading is so freakin' worthless that it's a huge pity I have to rely on him for editing.

My mom was going to read the book before I released it - but she flat-out told me that she wasn't going to read it for editing or proof-reading or anything.

Sucks. My story really isn't that bad --- it's just that some of it isn't portrayed in the best way possible. I have to wonder how brain-dead we had to be to not fix those errors and fix some coherency problems.

Obviously, as an author, I share in the blame. Could I say that my mind was so overworked by all the writing and proof-reading I had already done, that perhaps my father could have tried to use more than 2% of his brain when he read my book?

I feel like I've failed. Hopefully I will be my own worst critic. Damn. The only person willing to edit my book was a man who has a lower score in his english classes than me. Damn.

About the Editing of the Third Book

I've been reading through my final released ebook of "The Eagle's Sore: A Novella", and something seems wrong.

Both my father and I proof-read the book. We both edited the book. I am now finding little "mistakes" or "problems" in the text that I THOUGHT I had fixed.

My father and I tried to make certain that the language was clean, we were meticulous about it - I had to take the word "crap" out.  But now I read the text and I find the word "Damnit". What? I thought I got rid of that kind of language!!!

It's unbelievable - both my father's and my proof reading was not nearly enough to take out all the imperfections. I mean, I think I even fixed some of those problems and then they somehow just reappeared.

I wanted my mother to proof-read the book too, but she wasn't interested in editing it. I wanted to release the book before Christmas, but the only person willing to proof-read it for me was my own father, and he's worse in English class than I am. Ugh.


Anyway, I don't think the book is a total loss - but I realize it's not the best or most perfected document. I guess I've disappointed myself.

I have absolutely no idea why some of those little mistakes are in there - I thought I had fixed those!!!

New Telepathy Results

So, I stopped testing telepathy for a while. I started again today.

How has my testing been?

I've been testing with the aphanumeric Pick 3 with my father again. Today we did FOUR tests.

Tabulating the results isn't the easiest thing, but you could say that I got one to three 1/3's today. Why am I not being specific?

here's why: The first test I saw in my mind a Z, but I thought it could be a C. I wrote down C, but the right answer was Z. I saw the right answer, but I put down the wrong character.

The second test I saw a shape like a 3, so I wrote down a 3. Turned out to be a B, my father's B looked very closely like a 3 or a 13.

Third test I got completely wrong. No excuse.

And on the fourth test I got the L right. I thought the L might've been a 7, so I wrote down 7 and L, and the L turned out to be correct.
Remember: getting 1/3 in the alphanumeric Pick 3 represents 1:12 odds.

Today might not have been the most impressive, but you have to understand that 3 and B got confused, and even though I didn't write down the Z, I DID see the Z, I just said C instead. Not very impressive, but even if you say I only got one 1/3, I got 1:12 odds in only four tests. It seems greater when you think I got three 1:12 odds in four tests.
But really, I'm not very good. I'm just kinda-sorta-slightly capable. Enough to have fun, but not good enough for TV.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Dec 3rd - Dec 4th --- Get The Eagle's Sore Kindle eBook for Free!!!

I thought I might as well mention this deal on my blog too: for today and tomorrow (december 3rd-4th), you can download/purchase my new novella "The Eagle's Sore" for free on Amazon Kindle.

I Quit

Last week I posted about how I finally had a real job to work at and be paid for.

I won't go into specifics, but I was not satisfied with the arrangement so I quit the job. Probably not the best thing to be seen by future potential employers - but I didn't feel that the arrangement was appropriate for my lifestyle and health situation.


As for that cashier who asked if my dad was related to any legendary writer, my dad figures it's possible that she was just referring to the writer Margaret Atwood. I suppose that's possible, although no one else has made that mistake, but you should understand how in my mind I would wonder if my fame had spread.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Looks Like Sales

I've been looking through the various Amazon Marketplace shops for my books, and noticed something:

Sometimes the front page for my hardcover will say a marketplace shop has my hardcover, but when I look at their stock I only see softcovers.

I think it goes the other way too - sometimes the front page for my softcover will say a marketplace shop has my softcover, but when I look at their stock I only see hardcovers.

I would understand this to mean that my book has been selling - these stores are out of stock and since I cancelled publication of that edition, there should be no new stock - and the front page of my books just isn't updating like it should.

Wow. Thank you very much.

Now it's just a matter of waiting and seeing how long it takes the publisher to report these sales to me --- historically as I've experienced it, and as other authors have complained, the AuthorHouse publishing company isn't the greatest at reporting sales and royalties - on time at least. It's a little disappointing.

Be assured - I KNOW I've sold books that weren't reported when they were supposed to be. Somtimes it just takes several months to a year (or maybe longer) to get the sales reported. It's kind of sad, I wouldn't really recommend AuthorHouse to anyone because of that - but AuthorHouse was bought by Pearson or Penguin or something like that so hopefully the situation over there will improve.

As for fears of running out of stock of my book: there's a 3.1 edition for kindle available, but hopefully I'll be able to eventually release a Fourth Edition, once I get confirmation from Avril Lavigne about an important document (whether it's positive or negative confirmation).


In other news, in the past months I had this huge feeling of computer nostalgia so I went on to eBay and bought a couple APPLE II computers. I've played with them a bit, and I am darned thankful for ADT-Pro, and anyways, yeah, these computers are for hobbyists, and I'm absolutely loving them.

I found a third Apple II system on eBay earlier this week and I felt driven to bid on it because of my love for these computers. Unfortunately, someone else started a bid war with me, and I had other things to do with my money so I lost. :( Oh well, I've already got two of the machines, I hope my opponent enjoys his win. :)

I thank Apple Inc. for their history and early development of these machines - for some reason I just love them so much.