Tuesday, November 13, 2018

The Games We Play

The thing that really sparked me to write this blog post is this:

I just got an email for a special offer from my brokerage. This is normal enough for this service to do ---- except in the promotional picture they included with the email, well, there's a picture of two children playing with each other ----- and for "absolutely no" reason there's a big giant either digital or lego BANANA between the two children.

Oh, I am so proud of myself.

Yeah --- that was just kind of funny, one of the regular to-be-expected promotional emails, and the promotional image just has this big giant banana in there. Right. :)

Anyway:::: now for some more interesting stuff to mention but didn't really feel like until the above information came:::

SO:::: in the past month, I decided to buy a square folding table.

This now means that the 4 of us who live in this home are now able to play board and card games with each other. We weren't able to do that in this house for many years actually, largely because of how busy the schedules were and how my Dad has loads of clutter sitting all over the "permanent" surfaces.

Anyway:::: in the past few days we've played 3 different games.

And I just have to say it's absolutely remarkable how, apparently, well my brother is recovering from his illness.

In the first card game we played ---- well, he really impressed ----- and did not lose.

In the second card game we played ----- he won.

And when we played Scrabble, with 4 players, he and I tied for first place with 115 points each.

I just have to say ------ it is really, really remarkable how much he's come back to life from his problems in these games.

Can I attribute his recovery to The Law of Attraction?


I like to think of him as a "good and smart student" ----- he and I were both good and smart students ----- and I make this clear to people when I explain some aspects of our lives.

Yeah ----- he and I were good and smart students, and the reason we were brought down is because our sister wasn't nice to us.

My sister, essentially, whether she knew it or not, used the Law of Attraction to put us both in the mental hospital.

I'm just thinking back to what it was like before the illness set in ---- he and I were good students, and we were only brought down because of mistreatment.

SO::::: I think possibly going back in my rememberings to when he and I were both smart --- that might be making us smart again.

Friday, November 9, 2018

I've Ported 2 of my Games to Mac

Facing a potential opportunity, having been invited, to sell my games in a new upcoming game store - I read in the Whitepaper for this game store that this is supposed to be for PC (rather than a console).

I just have to hope they are also compatible with Mac. I only have one (1) Windows PC in this house ---- and I never use it.

If they are compatible with Mac, then I could do everything on Mac, and then just do bits of testing on my Mom's PC.

If Windows is absolutely required, then that may be a reason why my interest in this was only 'tentative'.

Anyway ----- Though I can probably do some more work to make the games "more appealing" on a Computer Platform, I have managed to port Air Defence and Blaine Bananatree to work with a gamepad controller on Mac.

So, I have some work to do for a bit here. Hopefully, everything will be fine. The games work, the next tweaks would pretty much be cosmetic.

My number one, my biggest, concern for bringing my games to a new game store is the potential that something will break with Unity 3D v4 on a newer version of any operating system.

Unity 3D v4 is great -- it works --- it's all I need for my games (so far).

It would be a real pity if I had to upgrade my version of the Unity Engine, again, for fears that something might break.

All in all, I have an excuse to save up for the new cheap Mac Mini now.

Remember: Donations are welcome. If you read my books::: I don't get told that I get paid so it would be really nice if you would repent and leave me some bitcoin in a donation so I can turn that bitcoin into an Apple Store Gift Card and use it to help buy a new machine.

The really amazing thing is I actually felt encouraged, I felt the wherewithal to actually sit down on my games again and make them work on a system other than OUYA and Cortex.

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Introducing ULTRA

Today I received an email.

I have been invited to publish my games again.

There's a new upcoming platform which hopes to break into the gaming market.

It is called ULTRA.

The website is found at ultra.io.

Basically:::: this is a new way of trying to make the gaming industry profitable for everyone. Nothing wrong with a little competition. I'm up for that.

So, as long as these guys support their platform on macOS ---- then there is looking like a high probability that the Bananatree games will return.

I signed up for the mailing list a moment ago. I hope that worked OK (after signing up for the mailing list I was wondering if the transaction worked or not --- but I was afraid to press the Submit button again).

So, I've stated tentative intentions of getting involved with this system. Let's hope I can get a Unity 3d version 4 game series to port over to this.

I am realizing that if or rather when I jump into this that I might want to have a new mac mini at that point ---- so it's possible that I might have to buy a very low-end mac mini ---- the 3.6ghz 4 core model with only 128gb of SSD.

I say that because for the sake of my game development going on ---- I might want to keep my 2012 mac mini running an older operating system, just in case.

It would be too bad if I updated the OS on this 2012 mac only to find it doesn't work very well with important software.

It's good to have legacy hardware.

So yeah:::: just a chance that I'll be saving for a few months and then buy a lesser machine than I really would have wanted. But it's possible I will do this -- for the sake of running the latest software while keeping a legacy machine that I can use just in case.

This is one reason why the Mac mini model is so important --- it's mini, so it's easy to keep in storage --- it takes less space.

Sunday, November 4, 2018

Did a Google Search for "fake me"

I had an idea this evening.

What if I did a Google Search for my name ---- except this time my name with a different email address server attached to it?

like: krisattfield@alternate-email-server.com

Yeah - I did. Not my actual email address though.

There wasn't much information.

Some of the things you'd expect in a search for me, such as a page from this website.

Someone apparently made a project called "The Eagle's Rook and the Pirate Games" and my name got mentioned somehow on the page.

And then there was the absolute PLETHORA of Avril Lavigne photos or pictures.

Like::: Someone set up TWO Pinterest pages basically all about Avril Lavigne ---- and somehow my name was connected, even if I couldn't find it on the page.

So yeah. I don't collect tonnes of pictures of Avril personally.

So:::: How did that happen? Someone knew of her and I and somehow a google search for "fake me" results heavily in her. Huh

Anyway -------

One of the biggest initial reasons I wrote The Book of Finch was so I could raise money to basically be a closer friend to her.

It is basically impossible for me to get married on AiSH Disability Benefits alone. especially when I wrote The Book of Finch.

So:::::::: all these years later, I'm finally out of debt, have a little savings---------- but not nearly enough to buy a car and learn to drive. Not enough for a plane ticket. Maybe enough for a concert ticket.

So:: yeah::: it seemed logical that if I was going to date Avril that I'd need to be as financially free as she is --- because for the previous years nobody wanted a guy like me to be close to her --- so maybe a similar economic status might help.

Unfortunately, I spent years paying off the debt I accrued from publishing and advertising ----- and people just didn't pay me.

SO:::: I just spent years trying to raise money to pursue a relationship with someone who apparently seemed to want me ----------

Only to find that people were unable or unwilling to pay me for my products.

So I spent years just surviving, and paying off debt.

It's been 8 years since The Book of Finch.

I'm pretty sure the book has had pretty decent distribution.

And yet most or all of that distribution seems to have been maybe piracy because I don't get paid.

I try to explain the lack of funding I receive ------ but in the end, I just didn't make the money I needed.

I try to speculate on what happened to whatever I should have earned.

My favorite answer is maybe my earnings were diverted to The Alberta Government, or maybe the Avril Lavigne Foundation somehow acquired what I earned.

There's always the possibility that no one would pay ----- regardless of how I try to make my reality seem like everyone would do the right thing ------ it's possible that people don't have money. I realize that too. (but to have an internet connection and no money? Huh).

Anyway. Yeah.

Whoever created these Pinterest pages:::: It's obviously no secret my involvement with Avril.

And yet very few people paid me for my work. So I can't raise the money I need to learn to drive or buy a car or just be in an economically similar situation as her.

Anyway ---- by the year 2010 it was looking like I might have actually had some chance of actually being with her ----- except I didn't have the cash to actually do anything.

hence writing books and trying to do things to make money.

And then nobody paid.

So huh.


On a side note, I realize some of the information in The Book of Finch might come as a complete shock to some people, especially really naive Latter Day Saints.

Well:::: Today YOUTUBE showed me a video to explain the Biblical version of the Doctrine that explains a same or similar topic I discuss in my book.

That doctrine, though mentioned right there in The Book of Mormon and even The Bible ----- may have been completely hidden from all the Latter Day Saints I knew for as long as I was there.

And then my book. And the shock.

But it was always right there, in The Book of Mormon and The Bible ----- it might seem like a complete shock that this is the truth, but hey I was only reading the scripture for myself and living my life.

And I realize that no one else at church seemed to realize the doctrine.  They all seemed to believe the opposite of the actual doctrine for some reason.

Anyway:::: I realize it may seem like a complete shock what I said in my book on a certain topic, but that was all 100% Book of Mormon based----- and now I've found the exact same information is in the Book of Hosea according to Youtube.

So, don't sweat it, that's just the way things are. And I know::: I'm apparently wrong to take a position for or against either. Just live with it.

Friday, November 2, 2018

This is getting weird (Forgiveness Stuff)

I previously made a Youtube video that touched on a topic discussed in The Miracle of Forgiveness by Spencer W Kimball.

Today I was looking at my copy of the book in what I thought was the same section of the text.


a) Someone very sneakily took my copy of the book and replaced it with a different edition


b) The words of what the book says have actually magically just changed right on the page.

It is so weird.

Years ago I was reading in the book and I found information that really got me going all hysterical because of how the bishop previously contradicted the teaching -----

and now, today, in the supposedly same section of the book the book now says something completely different and even goes in a different direction.

It really is like someone switched out my copy for a different edition.


In this copy of the book I was looking at today, it didn't take long, just looking at "random" pages to find a complete contradiction in the doctrine::::

On a certain page in the book (I can't remember which) it says REPENTANCE IS NECESSARY IN ORDER TO BE FORGIVEN.

If you flip to another page of the book, it says YOU MUST FORGIVE REGARDLESS OF IF THEY REPENT OR NOT.

It's a decently thick book, so it's just interesting that it gives the viewpoint of the sinner and the victim in two different parts and teaches two completely different concepts that don't even really agree with each other realistically.

One basically always requires repentance or else no forgiveness.

The other one always requires forgiveness, even without repentance.

Maybe I can't quite explain the conundrum here in words, but if you have a logical mind you should be able to see that something isn't making sense.

It would have been nice of Kimball had put those two teachings ON THE SAME PAGE. Even: In the same paragraph.

That might've helped clarify the church for some people.



Historically, church leaders would always quote D&C 64.

Recently, the church released a new resource on dealing with abuse, especially with forgiveness issues.

In D&C 64, you are ordered to always forgive everyone, and if not then Jesus will punish you severely.

In the new online resource, the church is now saying you will need basically help from, and approval from, Jesus in order to forgive.

SO::::: Way back, the church would just force you to forgive things or else you get severely punished.

Now they are saying that you literally need Jesus Christ himself to help walk you through the forgiveness process step by step IF the matter is even going to be forgiven.

The old way::: Just do it::: Just forgive all men or else you face consequences.

The new way::: Forgiveness is ONLY possible with the help and approval of Jesus Christ.

Again, if you have the right kind of mind, you should be able to see a giant gap between these two different doctrines being taught by the supposedly same church in different time periods.

Basically, in the old way, it was "on you" to always forgive, and the Lord would be vindictive if you didn't.

In the new way, it's "on Jesus" to approve forgiveness and to help you forgive because apparently, you aren't able to forgive of your own will and power now anymore.

it's just interesting::: In the old way, you might really question "Should this really just be forgiven? I mean, it seems so wrong, maybe the perp should face consequences" but then the church would just require you to let it go or else you face severe penalty.

In the new way:::: The church finally realizes that sometimes something can be so wrong that you might actually need Jesus' help or even just Jesus' Sovereign approval for something to be forgiven as if you didn't already realize that years ago under the D&C 64 rules.

Anyway:::: A complete change in doctrine.

My brother looks at the new information as basically BS, even if it looks more palatable, it obviously isn't actually accurate and this is how I'd explain that opinion:::

We have just been forgiving everything for years, under THREAT from the Lord.

Why on earth did it suddenly just become so important for Jesus himself to be involved in helping you to forgive?

We didn't need Jesus to "help" us do it back then, so, therefore, it's not necessarily true that we absolutely need Jesus' help to do it in today's world.


And the final thing I want to touch on::::


I think everyone or society as a whole, especially in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, is very confused about what the word "forgive" even means and how it works and what it's for.

There's what Jesus said in the bible. That should be clear in what it says. You should be able to interpret what the Bible says to get an understanding of what is meant by that word.

But then Joseph Smith changed the doctrine surrounding that word, and because the definition doesn't make practical sense to be applied to the word in the new doctrine, apparently we also had to change the definition of the word.

There are basically two parties as I see it:::

There's the

1) Emotional Party.

To this group, forgiveness is some kind of gift you give yourself so you can feel good again. It's all about feelings to these people, just to remove any bad feelings about anything bad that may ever have happened.

2) The Brass Tax Party

To this group, forgiveness is more than just an emotional process you do to make yourself feel better::: This group actually tries to make forgiveness LITERALLY MEANINGFUL by applying a definition of the word that says:::: "If I remove your penalty for your offense, then by the grace of God the penalties I face will be removed from my offenses". This group believes that by NOT PUNISHING a person you forgive, that they themselves will not be punished for their own wrongdoing. Basically: If I won't punish/condemn you, then God won't punish/condemn me.

NOTE:::: The Brass Tax definition works best purely in a BIBLICAL sense with the PROPER DOCTRINE applied to it.


I will point out that in THE BIBLE that GOD/JESUS does NOT REQUIRE forgiveness in every circumstance. He never did.

Only in the new Joseph Smith/D&C 64 context does The Brass Tax policy not make any sense anymore, and you basically have to redefine the word in the Purely Emotional way, apparently.

So, yeah::: it's all just kind of confusing, all the voices saying this and that about the Forgiveness topic.

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Concerning Information

This blog post will have two parts: part 1 is my concern for my Dad's mental health, and part 2 is my concern for anything The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has ever taught.

1) I learned this evening, after verbally spending hours discussing new information on the church --- that the reason my Dad doesn't like hearing me discuss the issues is because it basically gives him a headache. Every time.

Growing up, I was one of the smartest kids in school. I worked as hard as I had to to get the grades. And I remember as I was studying to learn the Java programming language (by myself from a book) that this is where I could initially feel signs of my brain wearing out and shutting down.

I had gone through so much work, and had taken such a beating, that my brain was shutting down to the point of hearing loud angry voices in the back of the head --- soon to get diagnosed with schizophrenia.

The only subject that my Dad was really good at in school was Math. He could barely get through English class.

I, however, was a top student and was much more well-rounded.

To be honest:::: To me I'm just wondering if my Dad's mind hasn't expanded yet to the point of being able to handle all the information I present. And I wonder if he actually tried to get a grasp of the information if he'd have a mental breakdown too.

I have some memory that it's possible that a person's brain is just physically incapable of handling the information they are given or about how it feels to have a brain that's shutting down.

Anyway ---- EVERYONE in the house is perfectly capable of understanding me as I go on for hours about new church information and ways of looking at it ----- but my Dad gets headaches every time and appears to be unable to handle the amount of information. Somehow, I just wonder if he is somehow physically incapable (in his mind) and might have a breakdown about it.

I wonder if Paliperidone would help him. It's possible, I guess, that my brain was able to recover as well as it has, perhaps somehow due to the psychiatric drug I take. Or maybe it's the magic words I repeat to make myself smart.

Whatever the case is::: My Dad has always had a big problem with me examining the issues, and he says it gives him a headache ---- except he's the ONLY person in the family who has this problem. My brother and mother are able to listen to me wonder about the issues and they provide some social or emotional comfort and help me feel that someone is listening.

My Dad has rarely been able to give the social or emotional substance and is largely unable to handle pretty much any discussion on the issues.

Anyway. I just wonder if his mind isn't big enough yet. Or if he's going to have a breakdown.

2) Upon testing my browsers with the new update of macOS --- I ended up looking at the LDS.org church website today.

The LDS.org church website says they have a new resource ----- a website designed to deal with the topic of abuse. This is a very important topic, because as I am well aware, and as the church says the UN (or some part of the UN) is well aware ------- abuse is a very prominent and widespread issue.

So::: the church says they and The Lord CONDEMN ALL abuse.

So, I was thinking, if they condemn all abuse::: then what about D&C 64 when it says we are REQUIRED to FORGIVE ALL men?

I got a little confused ---- I'm not sure I've understood something, so I looked at the abuse.lds.org webpage article about how an abuse victim might go about forgiving an abuser ---- forgiving an abuser who will not, apparently, escape condemnation for their actions.

Like ---- to me forgiving and condemnation are two opposite sides of the same coin. That's how I've always understood the issue of forgiveness versus punishment/condemnation --- they are two opposite ways in which to deal with an offense.

But the church is telling us that it will be condemned but we can also forgive it at the same time.

Anyway:::: There's a LOT of information I could discuss from my hours of discussion today::: but the main thing is this::::

The dead Church leader, prophet and apostle, Spencer W Kimball taught some very specific things about forgiveness in his book "The Miracle of Forgiveness".

BUT ----- in the new article about forgiveness and how an abuse victim can try to forgive ----- the Church is now basically just saying that Spencer W Kimball was wrong.  Kimball said very specific things, and now the church is no longer propagating those views, and in fact completely contradicts those views now.

IN FACT::::: At the end of the article, there is a list of other resources, generally from Living church people, even Apostles, and these resources from the apostles are in church publications ----- but not only is the church completely going opposite of what a past prophet said ---- now they are even saying you can't even necessarily trust what a currently living and operating apostle has said.

Basically::::: When the church has turned around and starting saying that living apostles of the church do not even represent the official viewpoint:::: well:::: obviously there's so much information in the church, and one really has to wonder what information is ever trustworthy ever in the church.

There are some people in the church who will tell you that no one in a leadership position can EVER be criticized. Not even criticism. Not ever.

But the church, on this website, basically just said that you can't even necessarily trust a living and ordained apostle to give you the straight deal.

And then there are all the past prophets that the church just kind of disowned.

And then when you realize the church kind of disowned some things in The Book of Mormon --- and The Pearl of Great Price ---- and even the Doctrine & Covenants don't get entirely listened to.

You know ---- it's just weird when you are growing up in the church and they're telling you they know the scriptures are true and that we have to follow the prophet.

And then upon further research, the church doesn't actually follow the scriptures and they completely contradict the past prophets and are now even telling you living apostles aren't even necessarily trustworthy.

But when you are growing up the church completely criticizes The Bible as unsound doctrine that was probably wrongly changed by some guy somewhere at some point --------

and in the end what it looks like is that in reality, The Bible is the only book that makes a whole lot of sense anyway, while all these prophets and extra scriptures can just be ignored.

I mean ----- the church likes to pressure young men into giving two years of their lives to the cause----- but what exactly is the cause anyway?

They tell you the scriptures are true, to follow the prophet, and that the Bible is untrustworthy --- a bunch of young people in the church spend years of their lives trying to help propagate the cause -----

but if you really research all the documents and all the teachings and now the new abuse website resource ------

The whole premise of the church was wrong. You can't trust so much of the dead prophets or even the living apostles. They don't even actually follow their own scriptures. And The Bible is the one book that actually seems to make any actual sense.

Anyway ---- it's just a big shock to me, having had to spend and invest so much of my life in the church, only to find out it wasn't what I thought it was.

I joined the church initially because they taught repentance ----- I thought if my family repented of their poor decisions we might live a good life.

But when you actually join and live in the church -------- they completely stop talking about repentance and just start talking about forgiveness. What does this mean? It means it was never important to actually change your ways, and now all the flaws in your family will never go away because they will never be challenged, the other cheek will always have to be turned from now on.

And then when you've had enough of the garbage being told to forgive everything all the time, and you finally decide it's your turn to start being forgiven --- that's when the church stops forgiving things and starts bringing in the punishment.

1) They preach repentance, but then never actually require repentance.

2) They tell you to forgive everything, which means when anything goes wrong it will never be dealt with or rectified.

3) When you finally had enough of that and you want your turn to be forgiven, that's when they stop forgiving and bring down the condemnation.

It's enough to drive a guy bonkers.

Anyway::: final note:::: in my discussion with my Dad today, he basically just said you should NEVER talk to a Latter-Day Saint about what the Holy Ghost has ever told you.

Why?  Because you will be met, apparently, with instant disagreement ---- that is basically what my Dad said.

I know ---- the church teaches personal revelation and listening to the still small voice of the holy ghost ------- and they teach it's wrong to deny the holy ghost ------ blasphemy against the holy ghost is the unforgivable sin -------

but my Dad pointed out that if you ever tell anyone in the church about what the holy ghost tells you apparently they will instantly disagree and just argue with you about it.

Like, this is a matter of eternal salvation here::: if you blaspheme the holy ghost you are doomed -----

and yet if the holy ghost actually talks to you, and the church says it WILL talk to you, if you tell someone else at church they basically WILL disagree with you ------- which is a real concern because it doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

A logical conclusion to draw from a church that is likely to never accept a revelation from the Holy Ghost is that they just don't actually believe in God or the Holy Ghost. IF it's going to be wrong every time---- then that must mean they don't really believe in that stuff --- it's a logical way of looking at it.

and if the church is telling you to believe in personal revelation and the voice of the spirit --- but will always reject your personal testimony------

just like they told me I'd work miracles but then started forcing me on drugs for believing in miracles ------

well, that all sounds just quite abusive to me.

Anyway ---- maybe I'm crazy with all the information I'm having to deal with here and how confusing it is----- and now I wonder how to fix my Dad because his brain might not be physically capable of handling all the information ---- just like I had a meltdown once when things became too confusing.

Anyway ---- I could probably go on forever on this topic, and there's so much information to cover in so many directions ------ but, in the end, it may just all be a complete waste of time --- because it may all have been meaningless from the beginning.

2 Emails and about upgrading

This morning I logged into my 1.4ghz mac mini and found there was an update for my version of macOS.

I installed it.

I kind of wish I didn't. Why?

Because Google Chrome just became so slow on that computer I have difficulty connecting to websites --- I'm having to write this post on my OUYA Dev machine -- mac mini from 2012.

Yeah ---- so, the new mac minis ---- they look FANTASTIC, like dream machines ---- but I'm afraid that if I don't get paid for my work, especially for my books, I won't be upgrading to one any time soon.

I get forgiveness points, more or less, for forgiving people for not paying me ----- but really, if I wanted to continue in the development business I would want one of these new mac minis ------ but my current income, even if it is generous for a disability income, will take some time to save up for such a device.

And I'm not going back into deep debt to buy a computer, especially when there's zero guarantee that people will pay me for my new work.

So:::: There is some possibility that I could continue developing video games ----- but that is put on an indefinite hold while people don't pay me for what I've already done and I have to save my current mediocre income in order to afford a new dev machine.

I recently received a new portable music stand in the mail from Amazon.

Yesterday I set it up, put my Christmas Sheet Music for Guitar on ----- and started figuring out my Jingle Bells.

So much fun.

Also::: good news::: My C Major Chord is starting to sound better, although not yet entirely perfected yet it is doing much better. Yay.


Now ---- In the past days I received 2 emails.

One email was from a Russian man who wanted to tell me something about making an annual income while he was on a trip to Egypt.

He sent the email using Google Photos.

I clicked on his link, but I felt leery about logging into a webpage with my Google Account just to look at photos by some stranger.

If you want to send me photos or anything, just write it down in an email ---- I'm very suspicious or "leery" about logging in to any site with my personal credentials --- especially my Google account.

And then --- this Morning:::

I got an email from a man named Gavin Stephenson on my OUYA icloud email.

He starts the email saying "Hello Superstar" and says he hopes I'll join him for something he's doing for the law of attraction. The address in the email is in London.

OK ----- For a moment I thought he might even be talking directly to me ----- but then I did a search for his name in my email ---- and realized I had signed up for his mailing list so I could download something he did about using the law of attraction to get rich.

Though amusing that I was referred to as "Superstar" and thinking he was personally talking to me - and then realizing it's just a mailing list thing ----

I thought I should talk on this blog a little about the Law of Attraction and making money, as I've experienced it.

When I was 13 or 14 years old --- I asked God in a personal prayer for a million dollars. A few years later Avril Lavigne was running about basically singing about being in love with me, as I interpret the song.

But::: there's a problem:::: people around me don't want me to be rich. In fact, as far as I am aware, to this day ---- My Mom REFUSES to pray for me to make a million dollars ---- which means I do not have permission to make a tonne of money.

I'm sure I could make a tonne of money, but I think something about my Mom not wanting it might be holding me back.

Anyway ----- the good news is this:::: Earlier this year I was alone with my Dad and my Brother ---- and I said a prayer, all 3 of us involved, just asking God for a specific amount of money. It's a big sum to a very poor person, but not enough to really be super rich.

Anyway, just weeks later my Mom had somehow acquired the exact amount of money that we had asked for in prayer --- and she wanted my help to get it invested in a GIC (Guaranteed Investment Certificate).

SO:::: The Law of Attraction does seem to work well enough, the 3 of us basically got exactly what we asked for in just weeks ---- but it's non-redeemable right now and just earning interest.

The Law of Attraction works so well that my Mom also gets her desire --- that I NOT make my million dollars.

In fact, you can trace the origins of my supposed craziness or insanity back years ago when my sisters and their friends were deliberately trying to drive me insane.

To tell the truth, nobody wants to place any blame anywhere for anything negative ---- but the fact is the negative aspect of life did exist and I know that my sisters stated they were trying to drive me insane. So ---- that's the explanation.

But yeah.  This last part of this post was basically just my commentary in relation to an email I received about Law of Attraction ------ the Law of Attraction works so well that I'm actually not allowed to be super-rich it seems because I don't have permission from my Mom. So, I just live like I'm disabled and collecting my meagre income, wishing people would pay me so I can buy one of these new dream-machine mac minis.