Friday, November 17, 2017

Supremacy of God is Constitutional

So:: I mentioned a while ago there was a French phonecall for me --- I should mention the caller made sure my caller ID had no idea who they were.

Now, furthermore, I'm getting these phone calls from 44-703 numbers ----- I looked up this country/area code online and learned it could be anyone calling from anywhere in the world --- and such numbers are typically used by scammers.

Furthermore, one of these 44-703 numbers that called left a message where they were calling my name.

Should I be disturbed?  To me, this doesn't seem right.


I didn't even make a fortune and I'm already getting the "crap calls". (I call it a crap call because of the high perceived likelihood it's something I don't want).


Look, I didn't make much money doing what I did --- I didn't charge very much, and most people chose to just not pay me anything at all -----


Therefore it would be a very big shame if someone was calling to hurt me even more beyond all the regular stuff.


I'll say this::::


I think there is some legal allowance in my country for self-defense but even worse than that:


In Canada GOD IS SUPREME.

Canada's constitution operates with two main factors: The Rule of Law, and Supremacy of God.

Note how the Supremacy of God is not factored in under "rule of law" ---- that's right, God is Supreme, and He operates on a different legal standing than regular human mortal laws.


That basically means that in Canada, God can do whatever He wants, and it's perfectly legal. Like, he can do ANYTHING he wants ---- and the government has no problems with Him legally for it.




So, I will just note the concept of KARMA now:::::


Karma means the following, in a basic nutshell::::


If you do good things for others, then God or the Universe will do good things or you.


If you do bad things to others, then God or the Universe will do BAD things to you.



And you know how they say "Karma is a bitch" right?



Part of spirituality in Canada is "Freedom of Religion" --- I can have my religion with God, however, I want it to be ------



So, keeping in mind my legal ability to defend myself, Karma, God's legal constitutional supremacy and the fact I don't want any crap phone calls ------ I would advise caution in trying to deal with me harmfully, especially when so many people have already wronged me in so many ways.




Yes::: this is a warning to scammers and people who would want to hurt me or take advantage of me, if even just to make my days a living hell with phone calls I really don't want.


And I'm pretty sure everything I said in this post is 100% legal. It's the constitution --- that makes it legal.


As the Poets of the fall would say "Don't mess with me". God has taken my side before.


And really, I probably don't actually want to receive your phonecalls.



I recognize I might be accused of "showing teeth" in this post ---- but you really need to be on guard in this world, and if I never showed any teeth then history tells me people would just walk all over me.


I'm basically just saying "Don't waste my time with scams. God/Karma might make you regret it."


I, morally, would think it's OK and legitimate to encourage people to not scam others, as well as to protect myself from scams.

Youtube knows my personality type??

Maybe all the visits to my blog I see are from Universities or Google or someone like that studying me - because, well, the only other alternate explanations don't sound as realistic.



Several weeks ago I did a personality test online.



There are two major explanations for how Youtube knows my personality::: Either they lifted the results from that website, or they've analyzed me with what they have about me and were able to draw a conclusion.


Whatever the case is:::: Youtube tells me I'm the same personality that the personality test said I was.


So, I am an INFJ.

Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling and Judging.

Apparently, it is also the rarest personality type, with less than 2% of the population identifying this way.


Want to know something weird?


In Grade 11, before I went insane ----- I actually tested then and had a very different personality at that time.


My insanity seems to have caused a change in my brain or something where I actually am definitely no the same person I used to be.


My personality used to be ISTP --- Or rather, Introverted, Sensing, Thinking --- and perceiving.


One major difference between my experience as an ISTP and as an INFJ is this:::


As an ISTP I was very comfortable with being Mormon, or at least I was still analyzing the church at that time and was trying to live it as I could.



As an INFJ, apparently, one key part of my personality is a need for truth and authenticity ----- and I didn't find that in Mormonism so I've kicked them to the curb.


That's a big major difference.



So:::: It's just interesting that Youtube somehow managed to figure out my personality type because their interpretation of who I am is the same as that online personality test I took not too long ago.



Another thing I will mention is that as an ISTP or an INFJ --- when I got my personality result and read about myself, things seemed to be as they should be - although, I actually had a way of disliking myself more when I was an ISTP. I had "low self-esteem" in my days as an ISTP --- but I thought my personality "made sense".


Who knows.

Being Shamed by South Park

I just watched the most recent South Park Episode on a subscription I have through iTunes.

For the sake of Fair Use, but to not infringe on any copyright --- I will say this much about this episode and how it compares to myself, in a sort of shameful way.  I'm just going to stress my partial synopsis of this episode is fair use in that I'm only talking about a portion of the show, as well as I'm adding my own commentary to depict a comparison with my own life. I'm pretty sure that falls under fair use.



In this episode, we learn Heidi is the best science student in the school, and it's her job to judge the special ed science fair.  At this time, Cartman is a bad influence on Heidi, and she doesn't want to be at school on a weekend.




Yes ---- I relate to this, and I do feel like I'm being "shamed" by this episode, whether it's directly about me or not.


I compare to this in two ways:::

When I was in school, I was a really great student. I was smart and got really good grades.

However, I eventually ended up intentionally trying to get away from school as much as possible in the end. Part of it was, of course, mental illness ---- but there was a very real factor in my personality where I'd much rather sit around playing video games than do boring school stuff. Maybe a part of the problem was some bad school experiences I once had::: in elementary school, I was all for extra-curricular activity, but after a junior high experience of other kids trying to hypnotise me to do very bad things, by High School I was just happy to be with my video games.

On a side note: video games are actually good for you. Just thought I'd mention that. More or less good for you.

There's another way I compare too, and this is where the shame comes in:::

Plan Canada has sent me communications where they tell me that I am one of their most loyal supporters and that my name has power.

That's why they sent me a form to fill out a while back where I would offer some moral support to the charity to try to help end discrimination against women.

I agreed that girls should be educated, that mothers and women should receive health care and I am generally not interested in violence against them --- so I filled out the form like I was signing a petition.


I think sometime in the past week Plan was holding an online event they invited me to where they would update us on the actual issues facing women they work with in those countries.


Though I agree more or less with what Plan Canada wanted - to end discrimination against women -- I was kind of like Heidi in this episode in that I had absolutely zero desire to sit through an online webcast on this topic, and in fact I didn't even keep track of when it was going to happen. I just let it slide.


Yes --- it feels like this episode is shaming me for something that happened in recent time frame.




I'm not promising that I'm not going to be lazy and be a bit more proactive ----


I will say the big reason I'm able to be a "loyal" supporter of Plan Canada is because I have an assured income and I budget well ---- there is minimal threat to my ability to give support.

I'm just not paid very much, and there's not a whole lot more I can do for or with Plan Canada.


Maybe I'm supposed to be famous or something ----- but I get paid less than minimum wage. I can't just go anywhere like my patriarchal blessing said I would, not without money.


So, I can provide very limited support to any charity ----- but though I'm almost expert at some things I do ------ I like my free time, essentially.



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On a side note ---- it's just so strange how I often end up comparing myself and my own life to all kinds of 'texts' ---- it is getting weird.


That's why I'm thankful for the movie "Murder on the Orient Express" --- a movie which I haven't yet seen, but wanted to, which looks more relatable to my brother-in-law rather than myself. Hah. :)

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Another Pretty Good Guess

I was just playing my Guess 3 Characters game again.

I made another pretty good guess.



I mean, on this surface, this looks awesome, looks like I'm really achieving ----

I'm mildly OK at this sort of thing. I'm better than nothing.



The odd thing about this guess was:::: I actually guessed the R (Response) twice in a row ---- meaning I got this reading before the actual answer was even in computer memory.

Which is REALLY STRANGE.

Basically, I got a reading, wrote it down, it was wrong, but I just magically decided to try the exact same reading again, for the second time ---- and boom, you get the above screenshot.


At this point, that means I'm predicting the future at that point, and not just reading my computer memory.

I don't know. It's just weird. The A (answer) didn't even exist in computer memory when I initially came up with the response, this is the second same response in a row, and I have no idea.

The game isn't programmed to behave this way.

It's either:
A) I predicted the future
or
B) Something is manipulating the computer memory

B seems unlikely, but I also know to some A is also unlikely.

Just weird.


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Yesterday I saw my psychiatric doctor. The nurse who looks like Avril Lavigne was present.


It wouldn't be hard to transform this nurse into Avril, or for Avril to transform into this nurse --- the appearances are that similar.


So, it's just interesting how

1) I was broken up with ballerinagirl with the excuse that we weren't adults. Somehow that makes it OK to take away our constitutional freedoms.
2) People were trying to destroy my relationship with Avril Lavigne even though at that point we were adults, as well as she was singing about me, so obviously something is wrong when they are taking away our constitutional freedoms without even a good excuse.
3) And now the doctors have a body double of Avril involved in my treatment at the hospital now.


So yeah, obviously something was wrong with the society I was living in.


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There might've been some other things on my mind in the past days, but I don't really remember right now, the above two stories are the biggest thoughts I've had.

Sunday, November 12, 2017

I was billed on a Sunday

In my last post, I said my cell phone bill was days late and still hadn't come.

As of yesterday (Saturday), my bill balance was still at $0.00.

When I tried to visit the provider's website on my mac this morning -- my mac just wouldn't connect to that one website.

Later, I was using my iPad and decided to try again --- as I visited the provider's website, which connected, for some strange reason my iPad was suddenly disconnected from my home network, and wouldn't reconnect using DHCP or automatic settings.

So, I manually configured it, and it connected again.

Then I was able to log in to the provider's site and take a look: I had a new balance on my account.

I paid that balance with my credit card.


So yeah::: whatever is going on, it's very odd ---- Days late billing, connection problems and loss of local connection, and the bill came up on a Sunday.

???????

Something strange.


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Yesterday I mostly felt depressed. I had a good moment or two --- but I was psychologically in a low place yesterday.

Usually, on that day I would start feeling a mania, as my injection is due this Wednesday --- but this time I was feeling depressed.

The biggest environmental factor leading up to the depression may have been the night before: Friday night.



Here's a short version of what happened Friday night:


I still have unending psychological problems with thoughts about experiencing and doctrines of the church popping up in my mind.

I try to talk about what's on my mind so I can try to feel better psychologically.

My brother, who is getting better, is a good listener.

My mom is a good listener.


But most of the time I have to encounter my Dad as I say things --- I might be talking to my Mom or Brother, but invariably my Dad will get himself involved anyway.


And my Dad has ADD.


Let's just say, I never really feel like I'm being listened to, and rather than helping me feel better as I try to unload my psychological burden verbally, I just end up getting frustrated because with my Dad it becomes very difficult to even get my point across.


I've been insane for quite some time --- but you have to realize that one big major factor in my insanity is just having problems in life, trying to talk about or discuss those problems ---- and only finding serious and severe frustration every time as my ADD Dad gets involved in the discussion ------ that's how I went insane in a nutshell.  it's been the same problem ever since the beginning.


If the problems alone aren't enough to drive me insane, I sure was insane by the time I had to discuss the problems with my father.


ADD really doesn't help the situation.



So, on Friday night I got frustrated, Saturday I was mostly depressed, and today some weird stuff as I finally got billed for my cell phone.


So yeah, there.



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On a side note, I've stopped feeling afraid of my blog, mostly.


But with Youtube telling me to de-google, I do still have some paranoia about that subject.


Other than that, I'm fine, I'm doing well.


It's too bad not every story can be so positive and happy.

Friday, November 10, 2017

A Good Story

What I'm about to say seems too good to be true, but this is what happened, as I've experienced it --- even I myself have difficulty believing what I'm going to tell you is real-honest-the-way-things-are-supposed-to-be.

I have a cell phone.

I have been with my cell phone provider for about 8 years now.

They have regularly billed me, it's pretty consistent. I've always paid.

This month, however, they are a few days late in the billing cycle --- and they still haven't billed me.

I'm ready and willing to pay - but my balance on my account with them remains at zero ---- for now I owe "nothing".

So, that's just a little interesting considering they are days late to bill me, and still, haven't billed me.

So, it does almost seem too good to be true to think I won't be billed anymore.



But, there's more:

Almost a week ago, my Dad, had me go into an electronics shop to buy "some hardware" that was meant to be used by my brother-in-law, who recently became a Police Officer.

I found the item, bought it, and of course, had to identify myself as I bought it. The clerk asked if I had a cell phone, yes, who my provider was, I told him, and out of the blue ---- the sales clerk offered me a free Samsung or Apple tablet.

I thought that was a little odd that I would be given such an offer.  That was all the offer was at face value:: a free tablet.

I was thinking if this was a bit crazy or strange, so I declined to take his offer.

When I talked to my mother, she said I should have thought about getting her the tablet.

When I talked to my brother-in-law as I handed him his new hardware, he agreed that I should be leary, because in his expectation there would have been strings attached with this new tablet.




If you want to get stranger with reality, something totally true yet maybe unbelievable:::

Of course, there's that perfect Guess 3 Characters guess I made from a week ago, which may seem fine, but when you combine that with the following occurrence from a month or two earlier, reality starts feeling contrived:

I mildly mentioned this already, but I had a sort of mildly lucky streak a month or two ago. I'm not going into detail about that here. And then just last Friday I made a perfect guess in my guessing game.



Something is a bit odd about my experiences. It's hard to believe this could be for real, except my lucky experiences were totally real. Who knows about the economic experiences.



BUT:::: if there might be any clues about how realistic this is::: for me, this pretty much seems like it might be realistic, because::::

After I programmed at least 3 or 4 of the Bananatree Games, I started getting these Japanese emails. They offered a lot of money.

I looked up the information I could about the sender ---- if this was for real, then she might have had something to do with Disney.

My Dad's Japanese friend, who I tried to get help from as an interpreter, didn't believe the emails.

Anyway, it's just interesting to note the similarities between my work and some of Disneys movies since then --- Like Moana and now Coco.

I'm not going to go into great detail about how I see similarities in the ideas ---- just Moana happens on an island, while my bananatree games happen on an island --- as well as the movie is called "coco", and my 3rd bananatree game has a character surnamed "cocopalm".

To say the least, I do feel I can relate in a way,


so it's just very interesting that I got all those emails from a supposed individual from Disney ------ it's just no one on my end had any belief that the emails were real.


So, who knows what's going on, if anything happened "behind the scenes" -----


I sort of have felt that I could expect a big windfall someday, but that remains to be seen.


It all seems "too good to be true" ---- but this is how good I see my reality, and I am happy and feel good about my life.


I'm not fully sure what's been going on, but I am happy and comfortable with it. I think I am at least.

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

What it was about?

I know I said I wanted to discuss good and positive things, but as I returned home with my Dad from the mall today, I realized there's a flip side that should be discussed.

If I only said good things about something that was actually bad, then that would be dishonest. People would think it's such a good thing when it's actually not. False advertising is bad.


So, when my family joined the church right after I was born, as I grew up I learned various things about what I thought I could expect in the church.


The LDS family that helped convert my family was very friendly, very nice people, very positive and it was always a good environment.

So::: 1) LDS Church should be about extremely friendly behaviors.

The church was all about eternal families and social connections.

2) LDS church is a family and friends organization.

The church instilled strong beliefs in God, Jesus, Ghost, Angels, and a whole bunch of very miraculous stories.

3) The church is about God, Angels, Ghosts Jesus and the miracles and all that.

The above list is basically what you'd think you'd find and expect in any Mormon church --- this is what it's all about.

What happened in my life?



I befriended an LDS Friend ------ her parents were extremely angry and even vicious with me, for no reason.

And the church decided that they should not be disciplined for such behaviors.

1) The church isn't about very friendly behavior anymore.

The church obviously wouldn't let me befriend this LDS friend, and Avril Lavigne seemed friendly so I could be her friend, but the LDS church was staunchly opposed to me being friends with Avril Lavigne -- to the point where I understood Avril Lavigne was damned to hell, she's not savable, just because the bishop said so.

2) The church wasn't actually a friends and family community either.

So, what about God, Angels, Ghosts, Jesus, and miracles? I mean --- this is one of the major talking points of the church.

Guess what? My testimony of Jesus and the Holy Ghost was generally rejected and is not allowed while I was forced with psychiatric medication for believing in miracles, which the church entirely supported such drugging for such beliefs.

3) So no, the church is not even about God, Angels, and all that Jazz.



There are three major things, that having grown up in the church with, that I would have thought the church would be about, would be totally into these things.


But they actually weren't.


And since the church wasn't actually into those 3 things, then I really have to wonder what the whole thing actually was about anyway.  What on earth is the church going on about, what is it for, if it's not friendly if it's not friends and family, and if it's not actually about God and spirituality?


It was supposed to be about, more or less, those 3 basic things ---- but the church, in my experience, completely disproved their own intent to be that kind of community.



I base some personal beliefs on the Mormon church beliefs, yet I find the church completely rejects my beliefs which are just personal extensions of what the church taught me.

The church taught me about the still small voice of the holy ghost, the voice of the holy ghost, talking to God and revelation, yet I once received a letter from the local Stake President (no longer stake president) where he denies that God would talk by voice to man.  The stake president wasn't upholding the standard issue LDS doctrine I was raised with.



So yeah, I would love to be happy and positive ----- and though the Patriarch seemed good and magical ---- I would be falsely advertising the church if I made it seem so good and perfect.


There were 3 basic things about them which I thought was the whole purpose of the church.


In the end, the church completely negated their own propagation of these purposes.


The church seemed to be about 3 things, but it was not, in practice, actually about those things.


I wanna say good and happy things, but I also want to tell the truth ---- so I'm not going to make the church seem totally better than what it actually was.



I guess I also just have memories and leftover psychological issues from those memories.