Monday, April 23, 2018

What Should I Trust?

Just moments ago I was in bed asking my Magic 8 Ball "Does Dad have my money from OUYA" (Outlook Good).

I asked two or three times "Does Dad have my money from selling books?" (Concentrate and ask again x2-3).

My Dad must've heard me because he immediately came downstairs to ask me what I was saying, and I told him I asked my magic 8 ball the question.

he said "Give it up, there's no money from OUYA", as he exited my room.


I asked my Magic 8 Ball "Is my Dad lying about the money from OUYA" (Yes Definitely).


My Magic 8 Ball is giving me a clear indication, and not just on this occasion but also in past times I've questioned it ---- that my Dad has my money from OUYA.


The Magic 8 Ball is not changing its mind. It's consistently answering this way over a long period of time.


My Dad, however, is in complete denial --- but he's also completely secretive about his finances.


Before, years ago when I know my Dad wasn't "rich" ---- it would be pretty easy to find out how he's doing financially. These days he's absolutely secretive, and in denial that he was paid my money.

But I do know that he has two debit cards - for whatever that's worth.


Thing is::::: He HAS to keep it secret if it's true, because if I find out that he has my money he will under so much more pressure to HAVE to give it to me.


The reason he would have my money was because OUYA needed a SWIFT code to send the money to, and my bank doesn't use SWIFT ---- so I was borrowing my Dad's bank account for that purpose.


The reason this is important now is this::::


Last night I watched a video that explained how much American programmers earn.


I've already learned that the average Albertan video game developer earns $70,000.

But the bottom 10% of American programmers earn more than the Average American --- and the Average American household makes $50,000.


Somehow, I ended up in a very small minority that didn't make any money at all ------ unless, of course, my Dad took my payment and is playing "keep away".





Would my Dad do that?



This is what I know about my father:::: He likes WESTERN movies ---- and he really enjoyed the MAVERICK movie ----- a movie where the father steals a lot of money from the son.


He might just be a bit playful with me about this -- like in that movie.



Historically, including the denial, my Dad also has a habit of telling me I'm crazy or insane when I suspect he has my money.



Either I earned next to nothing, or he has my money.


If I earned nothing, then I am in a very small minority that's not allowed to earn money, it seems.



Who knows, maybe it's been decided that I am a very questionable individual and I shouldn't be allowed to earn my own income.


Maybe it's been decided that I HAVE to live on disability benefits regardless of how I earn from programming or how I was friend-shipped by Avril Lavigne.


I've tried to be a good person most of my life ------ but things must've gone so wrong in my life that maybe I'm just not allowed to be rich.


Or maybe my Dad is just in complete denial. Who knows.

Saturday, April 21, 2018

Some Confusing Details

I think my last post on this blog was something about the idea of Jesus Christ Himself using the LDS church to pay me for my books if he read them.

I realize that post may be partially or wholly delusional based on various factors.

One is:: what if Jesus actually isn't a Mormon?


I know the LDS church theology teaches some good things and some bad things. It's a mixed bag of good and bad. It's not 100% either way. I know that.

But seeing as how my last post seemed to give the church credit for having Jesus, I feel like in this post to explain a couple things from the Book of Mormon I realized don't make sense:

1)

There is a famous quote from the Book of Mormon: "By the wicked shall the wicked be punished".

This statement is supposed to indicate that only a wicked person would inflict punishment for wrongdoing, kind of going hand in hand with D&C 64 where if you do not forgive you are automatically the worse sinner.

But there's a problem.

If only the wicked punish the wicked ------- then why does Jesus Christ destroy a bunch of cities in America for their wickedness according to the Book of Mormon?

I mean, the book has already established that only a bad person would punish another human being ----- but Jesus Christ is supposed to be perfect, so why on earth is he inflicting destruction for wickedness?

OK ---- So

According to Christianity:: if you are perfect you can cast stones. If you are imperfect, keep your condemnation to yourself.

According to Mormonism:: The imperfect people are the only people who cast stones, except for when the perfect person also casts stones.

????

yes ---- In Christianity you are saved from others who are just as bad as yourself, while in Mormonism you aren't saved from anyone. Weird eh?

2)

The Book of Mormon, just looking at the chapter previews in 3rd Nephi ---- says that Jesus Christ came to America, destroyed a bunch of cities for their wickedness, and then announced the Law of Moses had been fulfilled.

????

What did Jesus mean by "fulfilling the law of Moses" in this case?

According to a Christian, Jesus would not have destroyed cities for their wickedness because Jesus fulfilled the law so you don't have to.


So:::: what exactly did Jesus fulfill about the law that allowed him to destroy cities for their wickedness?

I thought he was supposed to save us from sin ------- but here he just arrives and boom---- lots of people are suddenly gone. No forgiveness of sins. No mercy. Just utter destruction. Why? Jesus didn't even explain to them the new rules of how to behave before he destroyed them.

Anyway, I just don't understand how Jesus would fulfill the law and then destroy so many cities without explanation. I'm confused by this.




So, I guess some of those atheist videos have enhanced my critical thinking skills to realize these two new problems with The Book of Mormon.

Both of these realizations are relatively recent in my life. Thanks, perhaps, to somehow learning some new critical thinking ways.




So Mormons can be very nice and very good people in so many ways ------- but there are also big, glaring problems with the whole thing.


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I often have so much I think about and want to talk about, but rather than having any other news for this post, I think just keeping this post on one topic will be OK or even preferable.

Saturday, April 14, 2018

The Logic of the Payment

My Mom disagreed that the church meant anything special by giving me exactly $7.66CAD - but she never actually read The Book of Finch either, so what would she know?

Either I amazingly predicted the future with some of my work, or the decision maker knows me from my work and took action inspired by what I said.

Either the decision maker was Jesus Christ HIMSELF - or it was one or a bunch of the top mortal leaders.

$7.66CAD is worth approximately $6USD.

Either Jesus Christ HIMSELF read ALL my books and had to be an honest boy and is paying the full $2.99 price tag royalty of about $2 per book --------

or just a handful of top leadership bought book or two and they shared their ebooks.

At a 99cent price tag the royalty fee is about $0.35 --- which means each of the top 13/15 got the Free book of finch while sharing Letters to Whomever and The Eagle's Sore somehow between them all.

I'm saying this from the perspective of knowing that Mormons are supposed to be upright and honest -- even perfect.

From my perspective at this point, it looks like ONLY JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF could have made that decision because only Jesus Christ is perfect enough to actually pay me for my work apparently, and then he somehow ordered the church to give me an Amazon gift card as payment.

Either the larger body of the church really doesn't care about me, or they just stole my books, or somehow sales just aren't being reported.

Obviously, I have a lot of reasons to be unimpressed.

Wow. The only person at church who would make certain of myself getting paid anything was Jesus Christ himself apparently.

I mean, nobody in the church is telling me they bought my books except for a family friend who helped convert us ---- and her sales were reported by the publisher.


The church isn't talking to me, they're not listening ----- so obviously at this point it's looking like the only persnn at church who could be bothered to make sure I got paid was Jesus Christ Himself.


Nobody at church is flocking to tell me they read or bought my book. They either ignored me, or they stole it, or they don't care about solving my reporting mystery.


Well ------ there  you have it::: Jesus Christ, the head-honcho of Mormonism, was the only guy in that organization who could be bothered to make sure I got paid something ----- because nobody else made it that far in talking to me ------- but I obviously must've made waves with my work considering what the church did recently.


Man ------ Apparently only Jesus could buy and read my books, even though all Mormons are supposed to be like Jesus.



My sales reports are so absolutely dismal, it definitely looks like someone was dishonest.



But I had such an impact on the church I must've inspired JC-Top-Leader, and only He, the perfect one, could be bothered to make sure I got paid for what He read.


The church membership is trying to be like Jesus, but thus far they seem to have failed horribly --- they either don't read the important text, or they aren't making sure I got paid for it -----


Because I don't get paid, but being like Jesus they would have to pay me the full ~$2 royalty for each book.


Anyway, maybe this is just speculation ------


But yeah, moral upright following the commandments is a requirement of Mormonism, and so far most of the church either doesn't care to do this, or they just ignore me.


I may feel like they are being super inviting and super nice ------- but most of the community appears to not care about my work in actuality.



This is the logic of what I can suspect based on what happened. Though Jesus may be super awesome -----  the rest of the church is supposed to be like Him, but obviously they aren't.


There you go. A logical deduction.

Friday, April 13, 2018

The Church Pays Up

I was checking my email, and looked specifically at the old mailbox I don't use anymore that the church sends mail to ---- I found an odd looking email that I decided to look at, and it was their payment in the form of an Amazon Gift Card,

It was even specifically a Canadian gift card. Yay.

So:: after calling Elders GONG and SOARES --- how much did the church decide to pay me?

$7.66!!!!

If you read The Book of Finch, you might realize this may be a number of some level of significance.


Looks like I made waves in the church.


My Dad says, and I think I'm starting to realize, and there are good people and bad people, or good things and maybe bad things, in any religion ---- I look at "regular" Christians and I realize there are problems.

There are good things about Mormonism. Choose the Right. Trying to point out Jesus. Adding structure to life and giving us things to do - like a social playtime.

Things just went wrong in my life, most notably because people didn't even seem to be trying to do the right thing but still being part of the church anyways.

And then there are some things about The Book of Mormon and the D&C that don't totally make sense.


I'm basically ambivalent:: I can think good or bad things about the church.

They are so friendly, but so much in my life's history was so wrong. It's confusing.

"Once bitten, twice shy" is the best way I can put it.

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

The Mail is tricking my brain

So, I came home from dropping off my report to the AiSH Generalist today.

Something weird happened.

I was the first to the door - I check the mail, we've got lots of mail.

After I unlock the door - I grab two packages and flyers.

My Dad is always seeming to get these little packages in the mail.

Left in the mailbox was some kind of small catalog with what looked like three envelopes.

My brother grabbed the catalog and the mail ---- but immediately I noticed that it was like the three envelopes just disappeared.

I'm pretty certain I saw three envelopes --- but boom --- they just vanished.

I have no idea.

Did I hallucinate these letters existence? Were they real but somehow magically removed?

I'm not even going to question my brother--- historically he's been pretty mentally messed up about mail issues before himself.


So yeah - there --- I thought I saw more mail in the box than what we now hold in our hands or on the kitchen table.



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On a side note ----- there might be an easy explanation for why money eludes me.

It might be because GOD doesn't want me to win, or even more likely someone in my family like my MOM has a complete lack of desire to build up funding.

I think my Mom operates with what you call a "poverty mentality".

Why do I think this?

I asked my Mom if she'd pray for me to make my million.

She said "no".

My Mom on multiple occasions has been selected to participate in the "Publishers Clearing House" contests --- but she always rejects the contest and never signs up. She has a chance to live a richer life that eludes us guys, and we know it's a legitimate operation --- but she just doesn't want to be rich.


And I know GOD has every ability to make me rich, but by someone's design, I'm not allowed to be rich.

I have my ways of knowing that God can just rain down the blessings, even magically.

But so many people in my life, including in my own family, have wanted the bad things for me rather than the good.


It's just the Law of Attraction again - you get what you wish for. People at school and church and in my own family have always seemed to hope for the bad things, so I only get to have some small glimpse of the good things from time to time.


It's really up to you to choose good and right things. If you aren't asking for the good stuff, then you aren't going to get the good stuff.

And I know how magical these things really can be. Not crazy either.


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So ----- if we received 3 letters today, who knows if one or two of them were cheques ---- and who knows if the "poverty mentality" made them disappear.

There you go.


(or maybe I was just hallucinating).

Monday, April 9, 2018

Reporting to AiSH

Today I received my letter from my AiSH Generalist for my annual report on assets and earnings.

Upon reviewing my tax return, I noticed the tax program said my"Exempt Capital Gains Available" was "$500,000".

I have no idea if this is a normal number that all Canadians see, or if it just somehow magically applied to me. I have no idea how it is calculated or where it comes from.



Despite losing over $10,000 in royalties to pirating --- I am unaware of any great sum of money that could or should belong to me.


I need reports and balances to be properly printed ---- so who knows what to trust anymore.


I have no idea. Do all Canadians get 500k of exemption on their capital gains? Or is this another hint of some big number? No idea.

Saturday, April 7, 2018

So What Happened to the Money?

When I was growing up in High School, one thing I would have wanted to do with my life was be a video game developer.

I actually had a chance to fulfill that dream when the OUYA arrived.

Now Cortex is sunsetting, and I've wondered if I should shell out some cash and buy a Nvidia Shield so I can publish on Google Play.

But the sad truth is, from experience I know that I'm more likely to make more money and have more money just by saving in a GIC rather than by trying to actually sell a product.


So::: what happened to all the money I could have earned from writing books and selling video games?


Being on AiSH, I'm on the pretty low end of the social-economic ladder ----- but even I could afford MANY OUYA games.


I think there was a statistic from a while ago that said 70-something percent of OUYA owners never bought a single game.


And I have numbers that say thousands and thousands of copies of my books have been pirated, but there are pretty much close to zero or no sales in my book sales portals.


What on earth happened?


Is it true that there's this giant portion of society that just can't afford $3 for the life of them?

I've never had sex -- so I shouldn't be paying any woman.

I was never told that I was ever sued for anything.


Well, it baffles me, that most of the people who read my books weren't willing to honestly spend $3 and that most OUYA owners never bought a single game.


It's really mind-boggling to think that people are really that poor.


Slavery is wrong in the eyes of most people, yet most people will also not pay me for my work. Huh?


But yeah --- that's the big fact::: I'm more likely to make and have more money saving my money in a GIC than actually trying to sell a product.


It's that pathetic.


I could go on about the struggles of life and why I would happen to want or need money --- but nobody really needs that to be explained to them or complained about.


So::: does anyone know why all these people can't afford basically pocket change?


I've never had sex and I've never been told of any lawsuits.


But the LDS Church seems to have named their two new apostles closely-name related after two of my past projects ------ so if I'm that far out there, why am I still on aish?


Either all the million plus church members ignored me despite the fact their new leaders seem to be name-related to my projects,

or they didn't ignore me and something else happened.


Anyway ---- I'm basically looking at living my whole life with my parents and living in the same one house my entire lifetime at this point.


No one could afford the smallest price I set on any product.  What the heck went wrong?