Thursday, August 6, 2020

I Figured It Out

Well, I guess I've got a problem then.


I went for up until just recently, over 20 years, not knowing the real definition of "Mammon".


The church would say "Choose you this day, whom ye will serve... as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord ... You cannot serve both God and Mammon".


That's snippets from my memory of things the church would tell us. It kind of gets you to want to serve Jesus.


This means that you aren't working for money, which is something I've only just learned in more recent months.


Well, I have memories of my childhood ------ and I have to say things seemed so wrong in my household/family that I wanted to put in an extra special effort for Jesus so I could make it to heaven too.


You see, the way I saw my family back in those days ------ we were not about to make it to heaven. Not by a long shot. I had to devote myself to making a special effort.


So::::: Annie Liability, my old friend from The Book of Finch story.


I wasn't good enough for her, considering how crap my family was (that's one perspective of looking at it).


Over time she tried giving many reasons for why she and I could not be together, and these reasons didn't really make sense to me.


But, now knowing the definition of "Mammon" ------- I have a better idea.


She tried explaining to me that she wanted a career.


At the time I had no idea why her career would keep her and me apart.


But now I understand:::: If I'm going to work for the Lord, and she's going to work for Mammon:::: The church had some kind of policy of couples not being unequally yoked.


Jesus said something about not unequally yoking yourself with unbelievers.


I won't say if she was really a believer or not::::: but I was more interested in working for God than she was, she was working for Mammon, I was working for God ------ there ------ that explains why it wouldn't work.



But this goes a step further.



If she's working for MAMMON ----- Plus how I'm NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER --------



If she's working for baser interests and I'm not even good enough for that ----------



Yup ------ maybe that's where the Bishop got his idea that I made a deal with the Devil.



Sucks to be me:::::::: I wanted to serve God, but my family was such a mess that I wasn't good enough for someone who serves Mammon ----------- as such I'm shunted, it seems to the very bottom of the pile.




That explains so much.



Well, there you go.



This is how my life's story went because my family had some serious problems, I wanted to serve God to put in that extra effort, and yet we never even understood the actual definition of the word "Mammon".



That explains it.



It's been 20 years ----- but now it makes sense.




But yeah ----- My family does have a problem where people seem to do the opposite of what they are asked on so many occasions ------ so there really is an issue.



I wanted to serve God to put in the extra effort ---------- but it seems I might be shunted down the lowest levels at that point.




Thing is:::: It's not my fault. My Family's actions are not representative of what I personally choose, so even though I have relatives who seem wrong, I  personally try to choose differently --------



But anyway, now it makes sense how my life turned out that way.



I'm not even good enough for a servant of mammon. Where does that put me? Wow. I'm screwed.



But yeah, I think I figured it out. This is just my ideation on the old topic, with new information involved.

Why Selling My Music is Important

so::: I learned in past months that "Mammon" is actually "money" ---- therefore to serve God I shouldn't be working for money.


So WHY do I try to sell some of my music?


The easiest initial explanation would be that God allows for selling and giving to the poor.


But there's another explanation.


As Youtube has clearly shown me, Copyright Claims in the Music Industry are a big thing.


A big risk of creating music is that someone will decide that. your song resembles their song too much, and they might try to sue.


It's a risk.


As such, rather than giving music away freely and losing your shirt when you get sued -------


There are two parts to why SELLING music is important:

1) It limits the number of downloads, therefore copyright infringement is kept to a minimum.

2) If you do sell a million copies of your song, well, if someone sues you, then you have a million dollars to pay for the lawsuit.



So yeah, owning a few guitars I'm only bound to create my own sound, and sometimes publish that sound ---------


Even though I'm not supposed to work for Mammon/Money, I still should sell my product to 1) help the poor, 2) Limit potential copyright infringement and 3) Be able to pay for a lawsuit if necessary.


It's just logical and common sense. In the rules, Jesus allows us to sell things so it's OK I think.

Friday, July 31, 2020

An Actor Wanted to be my Friend

So::: Last night, I noticed on my iPad I had a friend request from a Film and Theatre Actor here in Alberta.


I wasn't sure what to think --- maybe I was just wanting to get back to bed.


I looked up his name online and found a news story that said he had a run-in with the law.


I wasn't sure I wanted to proceed.


You'd think I'd be all "yay!" that an actor wanted to friend me.


But last night, I dunno, maybe I wasn't thinking clearly, maybe the run-in with the law made me think twice.


I actually rejected the friendship.


Maybe I just had no idea what I was doing.


But you would really think I would be excited that an actor wanted to friend me.


Somehow I just couldn't bring myself to accept it.


He was an actor I had never heard of before. So, maybe not so famous yet.




As for me and famous people::::: the one famous person I had any fully real interest in was Avril.


And I've been staying away from her for months now. I figure I've bothered her enough already.



I mostly just feel "retired" these days. I don't feel the need to talk about a whole lot, and my music, like the rest of my products, don't sell so there's not much point there either.



I guess I'm just comfortable with my life where I am today. And I may actually be shying away from any more adventure.



I don't have a lot to talk about anymore, not a lot to publish anymore --- except this cool story where an actor wanted to friend me on Facebook, but I wasn't feeling interested.


Yeah, sorry ------- when you try to friend me on Facebook it's usually best to state your intentions up front.


I have friended complete strangers before, but they usually tell me things like how they are fans from OUYA or they are also fans of Avril or whatever.


If you want to friend me on facebook, it's best to have legitimate business to talk about up front.


Somehow, I just wasn't inclined to friend this actor, especially when I saw the news story about his run in with the law.



Who knows, maybe I just wasn't thinking clearly.

Thursday, July 30, 2020

My New Favourite Linux Operating System

So, I'm mostly a Mac User. And I haven't really done much "Linux Distro Hopping" ----


But the Linux Mint on my Laptop was getting old, it needed to be replaced ---- so I decided to try a new Linux OS in a virtual machine, see if I like it, and then I eventually decided to install it on my Laptop Hardware.



The OS Is "PureOS".



I really like it.



I think it mostly does a better job of doing GNOME than Ubuntu 18 did (which is what I have installed on my NUC right now).


PureOS takes the stability of Debian and combines it with added privacy and security. Awesome.


Also::::: there's a version of the operating system for a Phone. It's supposedly simple compared to iOS or Android ----- but with enough time and backing PureOS for the phone will become more advanced I think.



PureOS likes keeping your information safe --------- and though nobody I know is at a technical level where they would be able to encrypt their emails, I heard the US might be planning to ban encryption --------- so though I haven't been able to encrypt much in my life, I personally think keeping encryption as a legal option is a good idea, I support encryption being legal personally.



I haven't done much encryption in my life, especially because people aren't really that tech-savvy, but personally, I'd keep encryption legal and lawful.


So yeah ---- without going into too much detail, PureOS is my new favourite Linux Operating System.


In other news::::::


I just think it's kind of strange how in all my 20+ years of researching The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that I never learned from their texts that "Mammon" is "Money".


I learned that Mammon is Money from a NON-Church source.


I mean, the church does teach "service work" and "selfless service" ------ but they never specify that Ye Cannot serve both God and Money.


They just don't mention that.


So though the church does have some good ideas (because those good ideas do exist) ---- it's obviously not totally perfect yet.


They like to tell people that their church is perfect, but really it's actually not perfect.


They have good ideas, but they do miss the mark and come up short in a number of ways.


Over 20 years of my life researching the religion and I never learn that Mammon actually means money.


Only an outside source could teach me that.


It just seems a little off. There might be reasons for it ------- but yeah ------ I can see the church tries to do some good, but it's clear they do miss the mark. Yeah.

Sunday, July 19, 2020

On The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and Mammon

So::: I thought about my own life, and realized I had no idea that "Ye cannot serve both God and Mammon" was referring to God and Money ------ in my mind my understanding was that you can't serve God and the Devil ------ so sinning by drinking Coffee, for example, would stop you from serving God.


Why is this the way I remembered it? Didn't they teach me properly in Sunday School?


I did some research on The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Edition of the scriptures I have sitting in a drawer ---- this is the previous edition I was looking at ---- the one that existed around 1990.


So:::: If you look in the TOPICAL GUIDE for "Mammon" ------ they DO in fact teach there that it is wealth or money being referred to.


So why the confusion?


I looked up a number of instances where Mammon is referred to in the scriptures.


None of these instances of the word Mammon in the actual text reference in the footnotes to the topical guide.


None of them.


SO:::: the Topical Guide had the definition of Mammon ----- but when you come across that word in your studies the footnotes would NEVER point you towards the topical guide.


So where did the footnotes point?


I found a D&C Scripture with the word "Mammon" in it ------ the scripture is very much like a New Testament Scripture except a number of things about it were changed.


SO:::: in the New Testament Scripture (Luke 16:9) it says you are supposed to make friends with the Unrighteous mammon so if you fail you can have a place to live.


The footnote reference for Mammon in Luke 16:9 leads to D&C 82:22 where you make friends with the unrighteous mammon so they don't destroy you.


A closer look at Luke 16 and D&C 82::::::


From reading Luke 16 you would understand that Mammon is in fact referring to worldly riches.

But from reading Section 82 of the D&C immediately before the reference to Mammon it says "shall be delivered over to the buffetings of Satan until the day of redemption...make unto yourselves friends of the mammon of unrighteousness that they will not destroy you".

Yeah ----- so though the definition of Mammon to most people is, in fact, worldly riches ------


a quick look at D&C 82 and you'll see why I may have learned that Mammon was THE DEVIL



Some more interesting things to note:::::



D&C 42:72-73 teaches that the church pays their church leaders (historically, it's changed since then) ----- so yeah back in the early days your Godly Men were working for God and Mammon at the same time it looks like.



And in the Book of Mormon, we learn "When ye are in the service of your fellow man, ye are only in the service of your God"------ I don't remember any stipulations that money would or would not be involved with that service when I was taught this.




The ONE thing that might keep the church valid is this:::: I remember being taught by the Stake President about what he called "Service work".


There were no mentions of mammon or God or no mammon or anything --- no mention of mammon -----



He just had this thing he called "service work" that was understood to be work without pay.



He taught us to work without pay ----- but the word Mammon was never mentioned if I remember correctly.



So. yeah. It's kind of weird what we were growing up with.



The Definition of Mammon might've been changed a bit, the church has scriptures paying church leaders, and yeah ---- it was confusing.



Personally, shortly after I told the bishop I made a deal with God where I would serve God for the rest of my life,


The Bishop then turned around and said I made a deal with "the devil".


My Dad was the one who reminded me of this years ago, but yeah, I have some idea this is a true story::::


Notice how the Bishop contradicts my claims of working for God by saying I actually work for the Devil?


Nothing about money or mammon mentioned.



I'm pretty sure my desire to work for God came from "Choose you this day whom ye will serve....ye cannot serve God and Mammon" --------


So yeah, I chose to serve God ------


The Bishop contradicts and says I serve the Devil --------



And yet there are STILL no references even at that time of Mammon meaning "riches" or "money".



Yeah, it's just weird how I chose to serve God and the bishop contradicted me telling me I actually serve Satan ------- and the word "mammon" is completely avoided and no references to riches or money are made.



What's weird is that the scriptures say we are supposed to be FRIENDS with the Unrighteous mammon ------ so it gets even weirder when the Bishop wouldn't let me be friends with Avril Lavigne.



I mean, Avril had a lot of Mammon ----- the scriptures even directly say I'm supposed to be friends with her --------


and yet the Bishop wouldn't let me be friends with her ------ even though he himself had accused me of making a deal with Satan just a couple years earlier.



Makes zero sense.



No wonder I'm mentally ill. The whole thing doesn't make a whole lot of sense.



Actually::::: Being intelligent I have a habit of "over-analyzing" things ------- and I and my father have found that there are a LOT of things especially from the church that really don't make any sense --- but that's another story. One my Dad would like me to stop mentioning too.

Monday, July 13, 2020

Learning to not mention it

SO::::: Miracles are something I'm interested in.


I've had my tastes of miracles.


One miracle I enjoy is healing my right eye.


My right eye is or was a little short-sighted


Viewing things at long distance is or was blurry --- it was unclear.


Throughout the years, I have had experiences where my right eye would be healed. I would be able to see clearly with my right eye.



The problem is this:::: when my right eye is healed ---- I have a tendency to talk about it.


And for who knows what reason, shortly after I talk about it, the healing dissipates, meaning my eye is no longer as good as it once was.



I recently wrote into a Youtube Spiritual TV Programme again to tell them they seemed to have healed my right eye during the program. ---- on that day my right eye was actually seeing better than my good left eye.



I guess there really might be some kind of problem about me talking about these things because it's not very long after and I'm again observing my right eye isn't as healed as it was just a little while earlier.



It seems that simply by talking about the healing that the healing dissipates and wears off.



This has happened over and over and over again.



My right eye has been fixed on numerous occasions, but for some reason, after I talk about it some essence of the problem always seems to return.



Is it a magical reason? Or scientific? Or somehow both?


Dunno.


I know my right eye can be healed.


But I am observing that it degrades again after I talk about the healing. Yeah. Huh.



But ---- the good news is this::::


Just moments after writing the message to this TV show on Youtube about the healing,


I heard a thought in my head say something about a "restraining order". Yeah - telepathy again.


I thought maybe my reputation preceded me and for some reason, I might not be wanted around.


But I woke up this morning, checked my notifications and found that this Youtube TV Show's most recent episode is about Restraining Orders in the Courts of God.


The show is Sid Roth's It's Supernatural!.


yeah.


I was healed again by the show, I mention it to the show, I get telepathic thoughts talking about restraining orders, the healing degrades a bit, and now their new most recent episode is about Heavenly Restraining orders.



yeah ---- there's some real Holy Spirit stuff going on there ------ I knew the topic of the next episode without the episode being released.



That's something in their favour.



But, as always, the right eye healing miracle never seems to totally 100% last.



Next time I get healed, I'll have to make sure I Just don't talk about it. Then maybe it'll stick around and keep me visual better and longer.

Tuesday, July 7, 2020

Goings on and thoughts

Last night I managed to install the latest LTS of Unity on my Catalina Mac ----- so the very initial beginning of me being able to work on another project has begun.

The project isn't as clear in my mind right now as it was a while ago ---- but maybe I can revive it.



This morning I was thinking about my personal supposed agreement with God and how confusing things got.



Like, ever since I was a teenager, I felt I had made an agreement with God whereas I would serve God for the rest of my life in exchange for my exaltation.



But things on that matter seem to have been at least a little confused.



1) "Celestial Exaltation" is a Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints Concept ----- so who knows if it is real. Cross out the celestial part and you are left with just exaltation ----- which is a concept which exists in Christianity too, but happens when you humble yourself ---- who knows if serving God is involved (it might be).


2) The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the church that raised me, taught me "Choose you this day whom ye will serve .... ye cannot serve God and Mammon" ----- Though "you cannot serve God and Mammon" also appears in the Bible ------ the church's interpretation of that statement was DIFFERENT from how normal people interpret that statement. Normal people interpret it to mean "You cannot serve both God and Money" whereas if I remember correctly the church I was raised in taught that it meant "You cannot serve both God and the Devil".


3) So it's kind of weird when I knew someone at church, who was a home teacher of our family's, who read my book, and supposedly knew of my agreement with God ----- and then offered me a job paying $2000 a month. You know what's weird about this? Either he didn't know, and I didn't know or we both didn't know the actual interpretation of "You cannot serve God and Mammon". We came from the same church ------ and we both knew of my agreement, and yet for a week I worked for him, working for money, which supposedly screws my agreement. I quit my job with him when I realized that working for him was a really, really bad idea -------- but there you go:::: we both knew of my agreement with God, but I was clueless about what "Serving God" actually meant while he was either clueless as well or he was deliberately sabotaging me ------ and it's not unbelievable that he would be deliberately sabotaging me.



So Yeah -------- the whole concept of working for exaltation comes from the church in the first place ------ but it's weird when the church doesn't tell you the actual meaning of the God and Mammon statement and then tries to make you work for money even though you shouldn't.


Messed up.



I worked for him for only a week ----- that whole time I was clueless that working for money would be against my morals ------ but I did quickly realize, during that week, that doing the job he offered me was a really bad idea. Yeah.



A person from Church offers me a job that is against my morals? Yup ---- it's a trap ----- but it's weird how he may also not have realized at the time that what he was doing was pretty much wrong.


He may not have realized it. It may have been an innocent mistake on both our parts.


The church's education on that scripture just wasn't like everyone else's understanding.




And finally, I will say that I'm thankful to Youtube for teaching me about the economy and economic systems.


When I was in High School I think I suffered from some misunderstandings about economic systems and their definitions.


I don't know if it was just being wrongly taught or if it was my mental illness ------ but I'm so happy now that I have a better understanding of things. Yay.



It's unfortunate, but I think my Dad may be missing the education I now have. My Dad might be a big reason why my High School education was so off for all I know. I was told I was delusional ---- maybe some of the things I wrongly understood came from my Dad ------ but I already know that trying to explain things to him will be difficult, as it always is.



I recently sent my Dad a text asking him if he actually had a goal of getting to the Celestial Kingdom while he was going to church.


He refused to answer the question.



Either he was raising me in Church without the actual goal in his thoughts and actions ---- which is kind of messed up ---------


Or he didn't understand the church's own teaching that certain things just aren't allowed in heaven (such as namecalling from my sister).


To my Dad, my sister's namecalling in my childhood was just normal to him.


But according to Jesus in the Bible, all that namecalling was a very, very bad thing to do.


So it's just weird if his goal was heaven that he wasn't teaching her to behave that way.


Which means he may have been raising me in the church without caring about the actual goal.


Which is kind of messed up.


And those are my thoughts for now.